zenda

Hi

This thread is a sibling to thethread: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-...therapist.html

I had a D'oh!piphany when member CarGuy mentioned self-help books and I reckon there's another Tilted knowledge base waiting to build.
I would be grateful to people helping me to refine this topic.
At the moment I see two parallel strands:


1: Your advice and experiences in Choosing and Using self help books.

First, a sad story - I'll begin: A Very Unhappy Person is awaiting their Amazon Delivery of "How to Survive Divorce" ... having been divorced on the grounds of hoarding books on 'Enhancing Relationship,' until communal living areas became impassable on account of all the shelves.
Oops.

There is a process between choosing a book, and successfully having made the changes one bought the book for.
Actually READING the thing is one step. What are the others?

For now, please share your experiences and point out what for you were Essential Things to make your experience one of positive change rather than just reading a book.

NOTE: YOU might have been 'just reading the book'. Well how, Specifically, YOU ' just read the book' might be someone ELSE's missing piece. So please double check what are the differences between those 'in one ear and out the other' kinds of reading and these 'I read it, and it not only stuck in there, but my learnings were top-most at the front of my mind and ready for action, at those very times I needed to apply them.'
Your everyday may be the keys to someone else's previously unreachable tomorrow, and your bleedin' obvious their guiding light.

For later, perhaps, I refer to Jetée's thread: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-...ographics.html. It gave me a fascinating morning yesterday, and in showing different ways info can be presented, also triggered me to think how some ways of presenting can reveal gaps where even more interesting info might be found. As this thread is developing, might there not be people who know how to grasp the words and weave pictures and concepts in an harmonious flow?


2: Your Personal List of Best Self Help Books

Cynthetiq has created the thread: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-...#ixzz1CbyfA4X7

Have a look at that ... the same format of Title, Source and, if possible, a few comments, might be a guide for presenting your Self- Help titles here.

As you contribute titles, please distinguish between those books which invoked in you a response of "Oh Yes :nod: Most Wise ... in fact truly enlightened," and those books which, though they may or may not have impressed you or got you stoked when you read them, IMPAAAACTEDDDD in your behaviours, CHANGED your attitudes and MODIFIED your responses in ways which enhanced identifiable moments for you AND those you care about. Ie ... they may or may not have made you feel good - but they sure as heck made you Live Better.

Best wishes

---------- Post added at 01:42 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:59 PM ----------

Here's a start ... I'll add to it later.

... OK .. This book may or may not have 'recipes' which precisely fit specific presenting problems, but they are presented in a way which IMO is safe to try, and will generate at least some ecological change in the general areas it covers. What I especially like about this book is that it gives the reader immediate ways of demonstrating to themselves that change is possible. Feeling stuck is what often brings people to decide that 'need help.' 'Stuck' was probably NOT the original problem ... but an addon after several failed attempts to solve. This book primarily unsticks 'stuck'.

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ZENDA

snowy

I tend to be attracted to books written by academics. John Gottman is an academic who studies marital conflict, and has written a variety of more pop psychology books using his findings. This is one my husband and I read together and found to be useful:

Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

We're planning on reading--and re-reading--Gottman's books on marital relationships and conflict throughout our relationship to keep ourselves tuned into each other.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau