Quote:
Originally Posted by ngdawg
One thing Mondak and a couple of others touched upon and that is 'job'. I'm of firm belief that whether both work or not, living with kids needs to be something that could be done on one salary if need be. Daycare should not be the place a child is raised, but way too many parents fall into that pit thinking they have to have two incomes.
A study done quite a few years ago took daycare costs of any average couple, added it to commuter costs, work-related incidentals, etc. and found that if all expenses were taken out of one salary, that salary would end up being much less than half of what it would be if one parent stayed home-I think one couple used found the woman was making about $2 an hour!(She quit her job).
Kids need basic food and supplies. They don't need the lastest gadgets, the cutesy clothes(let grandparents and aunts and uncles splurge on those); in fact a naked baby is a good thing-at least right after its diaper change!
As for age, I was 37 1/2 when I had my twins. It took a toll on the body a bit more, but then again there were 2 in there, so that was a factor. There's a lot to be said about being an 'older' parent. We saw everyone around us having kids and made a lot of mental notes about what NOT to do. We had our house and things we enjoyed before the kids came. And they came not as surprises because we forgot a pill or condom, but because we so wanted them in our lives and that reflects heavily on how they're turning out I think.
There IS a lot of thinking to do for you both, but the bottom line is that you really have to want this as a goal and know that there are things that could go horribly wrong as well as wonderfully right. But it's the 'horribly wrong' you need to think about. If you can honestly say "I don't care about that" and be prepared for a fight because you want this child so badly, then you're halfway there.
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Good point. One thing though - if someone is going to stay home and take the primary child rearing duties, there is a double negative to quitting a job. When you are not occupied by work and unless you are VERY disiplined, that person may find ways to occupy idle time with things that spend money instead. I am amazed by the things we suddenly "need" that we never knew we needed before. Shopping / spending money increases in the time that we are not working. We don't agree with daycare for our kid and it does not fit with the goals we laid our for our child. We also have laid out realistic monatary plans that take into account the lack of a second income and the incresed non-child related spending.
The lesson here as always - I need to bring in more money. . .