ratbastid

You know, when your roomate kicks you out because they're busy getting it on.

At this moment, I'm sexiled from my own bedroom. By my wife and her girlfriend.

To make me feel better, post your worst sexile story!

cyrnel

Didn't you forget something?

"I left my keys."
"Had to check the fishtank temperature."
"Left food in the garbage disposal."
"TV Remote batteries were past their fresh date."
"Refrigerator baking soda needed changing."
"Went shopping but couldn't remember my underwear size."
...

I've only been sexiled a few times years ago by good friends who needed my digs, and I was cheering them on the whole time. Twas a good thing.

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There are a vast number of people who are uninformed and heavily propagandized, but fundamentally decent. The propaganda that inundates them is effective when unchallenged, but much of it goes only skin deep. If they can be brought to raise questions and apply their decent instincts and basic intelligence, many people quickly escape the confines of the doctrinal system and are willing to do something to help others who are really suffering and oppressed." -Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky and the Media, p. 195

martinguerre

it isn't so much a sexile story, as a tale of woe involving some of the most inane things said while having sex, and really thin plasterboard.

it wasn't so much that i could i heard everything, but that i heard *just* enough to know exactly what was going on. Headphones became a very quick friend that year...

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For God so loved creation, that God sent God's only Son that whosoever believed should not perish, but have everlasting life.

-John 3:16

Misz

*Rights down*

bparker805

Ratbastid,
Dude.... most of my friends in high school had sex in my own car except me. 'Nuff said?

SecretMethod70

Wait....they wouldn't even let you watch? Thankfully, I've never had the misfortune of being sexiled.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

analog

I'd sit at the door and listen. Never been kicked out of my room before, though.

visotech

Thats an intresting relationship...so you guys don't share the gf? How does this end up working in the end when you get jealous?

mystmarimatt

Mystmarimatt at college freshman year

Mystmarimatt walks up to dorm room, with clearly labeled "COME BACK LATER" sign. Mystmarimatt interprets this, wrongly, as "Make sure you're here later."

Mystmarimatt opens dorm room. Hear's distinctive feminine "EEP!!!" and distinctive masculine "AAAH!!"

Mystmarimatt stops. Thinks for a split second about what he has heard. Mystmarimatt realizes what he's stumbled in to.

"Fuck. Oh. OH FUCK!!!!"

Mystmarimatt tears off running, slamming door as he goes. Runs to dining hall, eats a solid lunch before returning to dorm room awkwardness.

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Words of Wisdom:

If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.

healer

I can't believe they won't let you watch

I've only been sexiled once, many years ago. I got put out of a pool by my cousin and my best friend. Apparently she wasn't "breathing right"...

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ShaniFaye

To my knowledge that has never ever happened to me

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Misz

Hahaha, Where they giving mouth to mouth?

Martel

My worst sexile story would be Sage and I sexiling my roommate at college for a whole weekend while she was visiting me. Her visit was supposed to only be for a night or two, with her going back on Saturday morning so that she could go to work. Well, that turned into going back on Sunday morning, and that turned into going back on Monday late at night. My roommate was really awesome and considerate (except he was ADD as hell so he kept thinking of things that he needed to get from the room and coming back in) and slept on the futon in the common room that had spooge stains from my basketball player suitemate's midnight angry-sex rendezvous...es.

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Anamnesis

Martel

Out of curiosity, ratbastid, is this the same girlfriend as before, or did you guys meet someone new?

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Anamnesis

ratbastid

Same girlfriend as before. I'm mostly past the jealousy. Tonight I had the very interesting experience of being happy that she makes my wife so happy.

lurkette

1. I have the best husband in the whole world :-D
2. We were already done, fully clothed, and we were just saying goodbye. There was nothing to watch, and besides, I don't know that ratbastid would want to watch if he didn't also get to play.

Okay, he says yes he would I will file that away for future reference. Used to be the jealousy/left-out-ness was too much, but apparently he's over that enough to want to watch like any normal red-blooded man

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

Charlatan

HooBoy!

I don't know if I would be able to tame that green multi-headed monster of jealousy... Especially if it was in my own beadroom.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Pragma

Wow, now that's amusing, ratbastid. I'm not sure if I would have been able to handle the jealousy of being sent out of the room, you're a better man than I. I would have been clawing at the door or trying to sneak in through a window to get back in

lurkette

I just have to speak up in my own defense, here.

We knew ratbastid was coming home at a certain time, and planned on being "done" by then. He knew we were having a date, and we asked him to phone us when he was 5 minutes or so away so I could kick D out and be ready to pay attention to him, but he insisted that he was fine walking in on whatever we were doing. When he got home, we met him at the bedroom door (almost fully clothed except for my shirt) and snuggled him for a while (during which he got a nice open-mouth kiss from D) and then I asked if we could have a few minutes to say good-bye, at which point he went downstairs and posted about "sexile," not really knowing, I guess, that all we were doing was hugging and saying "thanks for a wonderful evening" for about 5 minutes. It's not as though we were getting it on upstairs for an hour or something while he sat downstairs pining.

Just had to give you a more complete picture.

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

ratbastid

Well, just in the interest of a complete picture...

No, Closed-mouth. More of a polite peck on the lips.

It was about 15 minutes.

It wasn't that big a deal, I just thought it would make a cute thread. Should have known people would get distracted from the question by the juicier issue...

JustJess

Well, it's your fault, really. The myriad sex life of Lurkette and Ratbastid is WAY more interesting than getting kicked out of your dorm room for someone's rather mundane booty.

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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

TrumanTT

I'm pro sexile. Especially in dorms. When you and your SO just need some privacy for a night or two, your roommate should be understanding. I would do it for my roommate any day!

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"I hate quotations. Tell me about yourself." Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I feel sorry for the failed lives of everyone who can sum up their experiences in one small quote." MINE! (but thats what I think Ralphie was trying to get at ^up there^

raeanna74

At my college - well separate dorms, religious school, nuff said. Nothin happened there.

Been sexiled from my parents house though. My brother and I were teens. We'd gone shopping, got home to find their car in the driveway and door locked (which is NEVER the case even when my parents are gone) so we knocked. A moment later heard a window in their bedroom open and them hollering out - go for a walk or to your friends. You can come back in half an hour. They did NOT close the window after that - Needless to say I DID go for a walk rather than dwell on or accidentally hear more than I wanted to about my parents. I can only imagine the wierd feeling when it's a roommate but I guarantee that the parents thing is NOT any better.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

lurkette

Buwaha!! That's hilarious. Because it didn't happen to me

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

Anxst

I've been sexiled a few times by roommates. I never really minded, as they were pretty cool about wandering off for a while when I needed the apartment for similar reasons.

However, my friend Scott's girlfriend (now wife) was once heard through the door as I left saying "Why does he have to leave? You know he hasn't gotten any in over a year. It's not like he doesn't know what we're doing. He could cheer and stuff!"

She was always fun to have around, constantly trying to hook me up with her friends.

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Don't mind me. I'm just releasing the insanity pressure from my headvalves.

cellophanedeity

My love and I have decided to just ignore his brothers knocking at the door. He always used to just wait for us to get dressed then come in and talk about videogames or Magic for an hour.

Simon still won't let me tell his brother "go away, we're fucking!"

Grasshopper Green

When I was in college, I lived with friends...the bathroom was inbetween the two bedrooms, and therefore had two locking doors. Well, my one roommate always locked the door to the other bedroom and forgot to unlock it when he was done....

One night, the door was locked of course, and I really, really had to pee....so I went through their room (my best friend from high school and her boyfriend)...alas, they didn't answer my knock, so I opened the door to see two pairs of feet on the bed suddenly freeze. I quickly closed the door and painfully waited for them to finish. I think I killed the mood though, because I don't remember having to wait too long. So technically, I guess I was sexiled from the bathroom, not necessarily my own personal space.

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"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"

Formerly Medusa

snowy

Never been sexiled.

Always done the sexiling

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

qweds

i'm sure i would be able to watch and deal with the jelousy, as long as she ain't got a cock it's all g. but i'm sure i would have to be touching myself, but hey, fair's fair.

edit-

right, been sexiled numerous times and done a little bit myself, them's the breaks. the key is the white sock on the doorknob.

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tim(mah)

ktspktsp

Well this isn't exactly sexile but still:

My roommate and I were at a friend's place, watching a movie. The movie ends, I'm getting ready to go home (the roommate drove, I had no car back then). The friend says goodnight and goes to her room.. I head for the door expecting my roommate to follow, except that he asks me to drive his car back to our place. Apparently secret stuff had been going on!

I wasn't too excited about this (didn't have a license on me, and it was a weekend night in a college town so cops were out there).. But I had to get back home so I drove anyway.

Well, that was the beginning of their relationship; I must say at first I felt a bit upset since it seemed like I had lost two good friends to each other.. But I got over it quickly, thankfully .

Over a year later they're still together (and now engaged!) though living in separate countries.. I hope they get to live together soon!

Pragma

Of course, if you live in the dorms (as I used to), you run into the fun situations where people think it's amusing to pull down the whit sock from the door and let you embarass yourself and your roommate (and roommate's hookup/SO/etc.).

I've never been sexiled, nor have I sexiled, but I have woken up roommates in my apartment before (thin walls and not being careful enough with noise). I got a rather amused "Do you mind telling her not to scream so much when I'm trying to sleep?" from my roommate after that.

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Eat antimatter, Posleen-boy!

justjt

Hmmmmm....Ok let me get this straight!!!

The only thing standing between you sitting courtside to a live hot lesbian love session between your wife and her girlfriend is that green basterd who goes by the name of "JEALOUSY"

Well damn bro got put on your biggest pair of boots and kick "JEALOUSY"S"
ass right out the damn house!!! Cause you got the chance to experience an everyday fantasy that a whole lot of fellas are franticly spankin the monkey to right now!!!

"Taking off his hat, bending to one knee and bowing to you my lucky TFP brother!"

And as for being sexiled.....never really been the one kicked out...but I did have a roomate while I was in the military I would leave the door cracked for so he could watch....hahahaha but hey thats me...I'm a giver!

JStrider

hahaah sexiled... lol

once arie and I were foolin around in my dorm room... and my roomy was drinking down the hall... so we just locked the door and figured he would be done drinking long after we were done... at like 2 or 3 in the morning the RA woke us up knocking on the door and said we had to wake up my room mate, cuz he couldnt sleep in the hallway x_X

for a while my current roomy was dating a girl that was terrible for him... really manipulative and whatnot (we all called her "she who must not be named") they never had sex that i know of... but whenever she was in the room i made a point of leaving... dunno what you could call that...


then there were times when we shoulda sexiled the roomy... but were just as descreet as possible...

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-=JStrider=-

~Clatto Verata Nicto