viejo gringo

Clairabelle in the back seat of a '39 Chevy----damn that girl was built like a G.I. can with both ends kicked out...

Keist

Hmm, Weirdest thing was when I was little(er) I got about half into a extra large (by what i've seen usualy) spa bubble jet thing. Twas awsome .

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-Keist

IC3

Hand.

Here's a little rule i go by "Don't put your dick where you wouldn't put your hands"

I read a post earlier in the thread about toilet paper rolls, And i have a vague memory of me trying that as a kid..It was only that one time, I figured..If i try to fuck this, It's gonna probably take some skin off.

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"To win any battle, you must fight as if you were already dead" -Musashi

firestormo

So I just read that "Guts" story, here at work.. closed it 2 times.. but couldnt go on without finishing.. I fnished.. I dont get grossed out by much of anything but all I have to say about that is ouchie and I dont know if there can be a strong enough disclaimer before people read it.

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--Fire

Dingo2879

There are some extremely creative people here... Lot's of good ideas here, ummmmmmmmmmmmm, gotsta go!

xtreemmar1ne

In my younger days I would take one of those cheap blow up floaties, the kind that go around the arm, lube it up and put it between the mattress and the box springs.

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A true gentleman believes that others are more important than he, that kindness is not a sign of weakness, and that respect is a necessity.

drewpy

a sandwich baggie between the cushions of the couch ...

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"Once made equal to a man, woman becomes his superior." Socrates

Ustwo

A friend of mines sister.

God she was a nutcase.

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tacobaal

made a sex toy out of one of those computer wrist rest things, took the cloth outer part ogg, hollowed a bit of the gell stuff out and lubed up and went at it

worked surprisingly well exept for the size and the stickyness of the gell material :S

blahblah454

Ive only ever used my hands as far as sticking my dick into anything goes. But I have kinda just held it infront of a jet in a fancy bath or hottub and its kinda like a water vibrator.

I also just finished reading that Guts story... Im a little sick right now, I am so thankfull as a kid I never stuck my dick anywhere but my hand. I also have to ask, was that Guts story true?

Nirvana

inbetween the couch cushions. that actually hurt.

Viking1064

My parents had on old glass half gallon milk bottle in their basement. I used to put vaseline inside the opening and fuck the bottle. It was great. Plus my load went right into the bottle. Nice, easy clean up!!!

silvertiger

When i was young i teid many things... hand, swimming pool jet (that was the best i remember), douche bag with lube (just the right size, and rubber too!), bottles (only once), Banana peel (works well), and of course.. my most recent addition .. the wife (By far my favorite)..

but i guess my experiemtal days are over (or are they just starting .. the wife and i are fairly creative).

hehe

Ishmal

OMG.

i thought you were all exagerating...

that guts story is horrid...

i feel kinda sick now...

i might go throw up...

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"Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular."

Johnny Pyro

Remember the pillow dolls that were wrestlers? They had Ultimate Warrior and Macho Man Randy Savage. I had a Hulk Hogan pillow doll and I cut a hole between the legs and made love. All positions too! I wasn't fantasizing about Hogan! I was thinking about my history teacher. I was thirteen and it lasted for about a month or so because I ruined it. It had a voice chip in it so when you wrestled it or twist the arms it would say something like "Ooooh, your breaking my arm!" I remember plugging away at it and hearing, "Ahhhh, pile driver!"


I feel a great weight has just been lifted off my chest!

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"From delusion lead me to truth, from darkness lead me to light, from death lead me to eternal life. - Sheriff John Wydell

Cedak

Sorry, but I don't buy the Guts story. Pool pumps are 400 PSI, isn't that what he said? Bullshit. If people died from them every year, there is no way they would be on the market. It would also be very difficult to get a seal around your asscrack as it's not nearly the same size nor flatness. A seal would never happen, and if it did, it would be easy to break.

MSD

There's really no need to debunk a story when there's no attempt made to claim it's true. I'm surprised that people had to ask, although maybe they just don't know who Palahniuk is (in which case they're very deprived.)

FngKestrel

Now there's sound advice!

This thread rocks.

cokelvr

I have used couch cushions and between mattresses, also a folded pillow. Bought a latex vagina thing once was okay.

Mystifying

Pillow and once stuck it in the opening of a humidifier, got real wet, but that was about it

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Nunquam_Idem

First off, the flies in the bathtub was freakin' weird.

I've been reaaaally experimental through the years since I figured out how things worked. Tried quite a few things mentioned already- water jets on pools, couch cushions (that rubbed off too much, got a scab, ouch!).

A couple of the best things I experimented with though:

1) Some of that packing foam wrap that's thin and smooth, rolled up in a sock then put on a plastic bottle, lubed up and had fun...

2) The newer foam that's used for hot water / AC pipe insulation. Really soft neoprene-like texture. Cut to length, duct tape the length of the split, wrap around the base a couple times for extra tightness. Nice.

Like so many also said, wife's vagina still better than even the best 'strange thing'.

DEI37

I don't know how strange it is, but it's nice to stick my cock in a pussy that's been well used, and is still soaked with cum. That's fun, really. I like to inject a little of me in to her.

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Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

shortynickel

they are bigger then a banana and if i remember my produce correctly they are that good eaten like regular bananas...or maybe it was that its only for baking and such things as this

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What type of...

"Parents have forgotten how to be parents" Aaron Lewis

"Get your ass back here, your a white boy walking thru the ghetto" - at the end of a bachalor party said to the bachalor while walking home.

Daniel_

Do you mean your own, or someone else's ?

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And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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gilbert-

I'll admit to trying this one I was very bored at the time and read it somewhere on the net.. however it didn't really work all that great because it (the banana peel) was a bit small.

After that experience i've never really tried anything with any other strange objects

itch vaccine

Same thing i'd like to know..

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"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes.
When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours.
That's relativity."
- Albert Einstein

DEI37

Doesn't matter does it? Sloppy seconds are alright in my book. Or thirds, fourths, fifths...whichever number she's serving at the time!

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Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

OrSoIveBeenTold

Couch cussions, my hand, stuffed animal..
Shampoo bottle and a toilett paper roll.

I think that's about it.

muckluck

I remember when I was like 11 I had a big stuffed panda with a hole on the seem between the leg and the torso. Stuck it in and pumped away.

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Cedak

Well there you have it, then.

ghross

Oh my god...that story is going to give me nightmares...

Fourtyrulz

I'm sweating bullets right now trying not to think about it at all...until I show my girlfriend.

Strangest things you've put your cock into eh...should be titled "Strangest things you HAVEN'T put your cock into", the list would be a lot shorter anyway.

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the·o·ry - a working hypothesis that is considered probable based on experimental evidence or factual or conceptual analysis and is accepted as a basis for experimentation.
faith - Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.
- Merriam-Webster's dictionary

hossified

take a face cloth put it into warm water, and fold it into a pocket......than put it in between your couch cushions or matress / boxspring....give her a whirl....

haha

Astrocloud

Hornet's nest

Robert_XX

When I was about 10 or 11 and just discovering how to pleasure myself I used to put it into the top end of a hot water bottle. the bit where the plug goes. the hwb would go at the foot of a pillow which would be my female substitute. I used to bring myself off this way until I discovered how to pull myself in the traditional way at about the age of 14 (to Donna Summer actually). Hang on I feel a new thread coming on.....first wank subject.

fightnight

I second this one.... seems like a great rule to live by if you want the thing to still be useful when you come around to an actualy HUMAN BEING you want to bang.

bobillydylan

the best orgasm i had was putting it in festered that was the best fucking feeling ive ever had what i wouldnt do to have that festered rapped around my cock again.

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Yes and only if my own true love was waiting,
And i could hear her heart a softly pounding,
Yes and only if she was lying by me!
Then i would lie in my bed once again.

Redlemon

'Festered'? Are you sure about that word?
(eww...)

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Charlatan

I was thinking the same thing and two images came to mind

a) a very large infected boil
b) uncle fester

Either one is kind of.... eeeewwww

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Coppertop