Couples' daily rituals - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

abaya · 07-27-2006, 04:22 AM

By ritual, I'm not talking about taking communion here... I'm curious about how those of you in relationships (especially if you live together) start and end your average day. I realize that those with kids have a pretty different schedule than the rest of us, but I'd be interested to hear your "rituals" as well. Chalk it up to my social scientist side.

Ktspktsp and I are living together this summer (since I have a job in Philly, which is such a nice change from our usual long-distance) and I've noticed that we have a certain pattern to our getting up in the morning and going to sleep on weekdays/nights:

Getting up:
A few snoozes on the alarm, then he kisses me

and gets up (he has to leave for work before I do) around 7:15am. I take my time waking up while he makes his espresso and turns on the laptop to check the news and his e-mail. I get up 10 minutes later and go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, make the bed, all that jazz... then usually get my cereal and crash onto the couch next to him. I lean against him while he's surfing the internet for 20-30 mins until he has to leave for work; then he brushes his teeth, gets dressed, puts on his shoes, and kisses me before making for the door. I usually ask for a morning hug before he leaves (something that is really important for me), and then after he's gone I take my turn on the internet and start getting ready for my workday.

Going to bed:
Between 11pm-midnight we realize it's getting late, so one or both of us starts getting ready for bed in the bathroom (washing contacts, brushing teeth, etc). Ktspktsp is often still reading news on the internet, so I get into bed earlier and read or try to sleep. He eventually comes to bed and we might talk or snuggle a bit, usually with me on the crook of his shoulder, before falling asleep. Occasionally we have sex, but it's not every night since he's pretty tired during the week.

Of course, on the weekends it's entirely different... more relaxed and laid-back, with more time for snuggling. But I assume that's the same for most people?

What are your "daily rituals" as couples?

Average_Joe · 07-27-2006, 05:08 AM

Here are our typical morning and evening rituals:

Morning:
I typically wake up at 5AM to go running and biking, and I'm home by 6AM before the kids wake up. I let my wife sleep in until 7AM because she needs 8-9 hours of sleep at night to be functional. The kids all wake up between 6 & 7, and I feed them, change diapers, get them ready for school. Somewhere in there, I eat breakfast and even start a little housework if I feel ambitious. I wake the wife up at 7 and head into the shower to get ready for work. While I'm in the shower, she eats breakfast, feeds the baby, and ensures that the older ones are ready for school (or camp for a couple weeks this summer). After cleaning myself up, I get dressed, grab the briefcase, and head out the door to bring the older ones to the bus stop. From the bus stop, I'm off to work. My wife is at home tending to the babies and cleaning house.

Evenings:
The kids are in bed by 8 - 8:30PM. Tyipically, we just head to the bedroom to watch TV or read. At around 10 we are both ready to sleep, so we talk for about 30 minutes, and brush our teeth, etc. We then just drift of to sleep holding each other. And, yea, sometimes we skip the TV/reading part and have sex.

Weekends:
Unfortunately, the mornings and evenings aren't much different, but I don't work weekends, so the days are mostly reserved for recreation with the kids & shopping.

JustJess · 07-27-2006, 05:46 AM

Ours changes every day between a few scenarios...
Either he gets up at 5:30, often before the alarm goes off, turns it off and takes the cats with him into the other room and closes the door. Often the cats will take this opportunity to snuggle and say good morning as well. He's left his work clothes in the 2nd bedroom so he doesn't wake me. He's gone by 5:47a for the gym, having washed his face and teeth and gotten dressed. I get up around 6:30a... hit snooze once or twice and drag my tush to the bathroom to pee, then shower, then get ready, then have breakfast/make latte in my travel mug, then get dressed and leave, often by around 7:45. We often meet on the bus on the way out, since the bus at our house stops at his gym as well.

Other days, my routine is the same, but Q will get up at 7am, pee, shower, eat breakfast while on the computer, get dressed, and then we'll both leave together.

And other days, I get up at 5-530a to go to PT or other things, and he'll either go to the gym at 530 or regular work at 7am.

And SOMEtimes, not that often, but every once in a while... we are late to work for a morning quickie. Those are good mornings.

At night, frankly, life is just too busy to actually have a routine. If we're home, we can start going to bed at 9:30 or 11:30, depending on busyness and levels of exhaustion. Q has rehearsals for shows or music or meetings or seminars or open mic sessions or stuff with friends or errands, and gets home all different times. I have classes or volunteering or stuff with friends or errands, and I also get home all different times. Plus there's homework, or for Q, practicing scripts or songs.

But when we can, we both decide it's bedtime, and we both wash faces/brush teeth, and crawl into bed, and cuddle (usually I'm resting my head on his shoulder), and we often talk 30-45 minutes about our days and things. We never mean to, it's just that we can't help but chat for a while.

And then we pass out. Lately, this involves Q actually falling asleep before me (previously unimaginable), and snoring very loudly. I then jostle him until he says "Was I snoring? Was I snoring? I'm sorry!".

I want my pillow and my guy. *sniffle*

abaya · 07-27-2006, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJess

And SOMEtimes, not that often, but every once in a while... we are late to work for a morning quickie. Those are good mornings.

Nice... I've been thinking about those a lot in the morning (well, I think about sex all day, what can I say?)

but I'm more of a morning person than ktspktsp. On weekend mornings, though, I get more time to have my way with him.

snowy · 07-27-2006, 08:36 AM

It depends on the day, and because it's summer, our schedules are all over the place, and we're out a lot more with friends.

Morning: MWF I am up and out of bed at 7:20. After a shower, dressing, and some TFP I wake him up before I leave for work. I am out the door by 7:40. T/Th he tries to not wake me up while he gets up and gets ready for work, since he has to be out the door by 8:40, and I like to sleep in on my days off.

Afternoon: He gets off work at 5pm. I pick him up and we drive home--it's only a five-minute drive but it makes it so much easier for him at the end of the day, especially if it's been a hard day at work. Sometimes we stop off at the grocery store and run errands, sometimes we just want to go home and play computer games together.

Evening: Tuesdays we go to our favorite bar in town for pint night ($2 pints!). Wednesdays is his frisbee night. I don't really care for many of the people on his frisbee team, or the park where they play, so I usually stay home for the game but go out afterwards for pizza. Thursday is pizza and pint night at the same bar ($4 for a pint and a slice of pizza, how can you go wrong). Looking at this it might seem like we drink a lot, lol, but the fact is we usually don't make all of these nights, usually just one a week or so. We also have some TV-centered rituals during the schoolyear--we always watch Good Eats at 7pm every night, I never miss House and he puts up with it, and we both watch Sci-Fi Fridays. On Sundays I work until 9:30pm, so I come home, we watch Adult Swim, and go to bed.

Evening: After we get home from being out if we've been out, we might play some games for a bit or I'll browse the Internet. Eventually between 10 and 11pm we head off to bed, he gets me a glass of water, and we talk until we're sleepy.

Gilda · 07-29-2006, 03:52 AM

During the school year:

Morning: My alarm goes off and I get it before it wakes up Grace. I get out of bed leaving Grace to sleep a bit longer, fix some tea, wake Grace up and we have morning tea together. While she showers and gets ready for the day, I fix breakfast, and Sissy will wander downstairs around this time. If it's early enough, she'll help out, but if not or if she had a long night studying, she'll just park herself at the table. We have breakfast together and I'll head upstairs to shower, brush my teeth and get dressed while she and Sissy clear the table, check e-mail and do some work on the computer, or watch some morning news. I'll make the bed as best I can. Lovey, our housekeeper, always remakes it on the days she's here, but I can't stand the idea of letting it just go unkempt until she gets here. Depending on when Grace starts work and when my and Sissy's first classes are that day, we'll each take off whenever it's convenient, which varies from day to day.

Evening: Once we're sure we're doing wandering about for the evening, Grace and I will retreat to the master suite, I'll take my evening shower, or sometimes we'll share an evening bath together, do the evening beauty ritual, remove makeup, moisturize, touch up nails if necessary, make love if we feel like it, cuddle up and watch a little tv together for a bit. Grace goes to sleep about three to four hours earlier than I do. Once she's in bed, I'll pick out outfits for the next day and get those laid out and make sure there are no wrinkles and so forth, take our evening tea tray downstairs, get it ready for the morning and check to make sure everything is turned off, the doors and windows locked, and the alarm is on. It used to bug Grace that we'd do this together before heading to bed, and I'd still do it again, but she's resigned herself to accepting that I have to check a second time or I can't sleep. I surf the net for a bit, do some work, read comic books, and at about 1:00-2:00, or whenever I get sleepy, I'll cuddle up and doze off.

When I'm not working, I'll take care of Grace and Sissy in the mornings before I do my stuff at my leisure, giving us a little more morning time together, and on Grace's days off when I'm working (she'll be working the day shift M-F this coming school year--Yay, matching schedules every day

) she'll sleep in or prop herself up in bed and watch me get dressed and put on my makeup.

Gilda

abaya · 08-01-2006, 10:48 AM

Well shoot, I really thought this thread would get more responses! Oh well.

I enjoyed reading all of your posts, and find it fascinating how much we all have in common. Our relationships seem rather stable, however... out of curiousity, I wonder what the habits are for couples who are just starting out, or are hitting a rough spot?

ryfo · 08-01-2006, 05:31 PM

we are not starting out or hitting a rough spot but I'll share.... My SO doesnt work, so she gets up first, puts heat on, makes cuppas, and gets clothes ready, then wakes me. I stumble out of bed get dressed in front of heater while slurping cuppa. While i am doing this she is making my lunch and getting keys,wallet and such together for me. Quick trip to the bathroom and off I go while she goes back to bed.That is dayshift, Afternoon shift she gets up and goes to the gym while I sleep in and get up and make coffee. When I get home from work she makes me a drink and goes to bed while I stay up and wind down after work. Oh she also cooks lunch before I go to work and makes me food to take for dinner. Its quite old fashiioned but it works for us and we are happy (SO is on disability and craves a stress free life so cant work)

cierah · 08-16-2006, 03:43 PM

This is actually one thing that sucks the most for me being in a LD relationship. I can't wait until we are physically together in order to have the stability and comfort to have little daily rituals.
You guys are lucky!

abaya · 08-16-2006, 05:28 PM

Cierah, I definitely know the feeling. Ktspktsp and I are well-acquainted with long-distance "ritual"... but yeah, we've been lucky to have almost two months together this summer.

But for long-distance, we have a fairly set "ritual" as well... of course there's no physical contact, but we have a system of taking turns to start e-mail contact in the morning, keeping in touch during the day, and coming together online at night to talk about whatever.

Sigh, gonna have to get used to the distance thing again... so nice, after the summer.

Meditrina · 08-16-2006, 05:39 PM

Our routine is about to change, but for now:

On the days I work, he wakes up first and goes into the shower. I sleep until he is done, then I shower and get dressed for work. I plan out my food for the day and wait for my mother in law to show up so I can leave. I wake the kids up before I leave. My husband leaves shortly after I do. When I get home from work, he is already home and on the computer. His mom is in the kitchen cooking dinner. After dinner, I play with the kids, while he is still online and his mom cleans up (she insisted I play with the kids, who am I to argue?) She leaves, and I start getting the kids ready for bed. All the time, he is online. After they are in bed, I go online. I usually go to bed around 11 or 11:30, he shortly follows me.

On the days I don't work. I sleep in until the first child wakes up. If I wake up before them, I clean. When hubby gets home, I cook dinner. After cleaning up from dinner, I play with the kids and get them ready for bed. Hubby is online. Same usual bedtime as the days I work.

However, starting Sept 7th I will be working every day but home to cook dinner. I have to get used to a whole new routine before and after work.

edited to add: that routine is for the summer. School year is different. Have to get the kids up and out for school.

thespian86 · 08-16-2006, 07:57 PM

When I was on tour we had a schedule, she was still attending school and had a very early class so around eight o'clock my alarm would go off. Two minutes or so later the phone would ring.

Fast forward to lunch time, we call each other again.

Fast forward to nine thirty. On the dot. Every night. The phone would ring and we would talk, or watch TV together over the phone.

When I'm home it is usally I wake up, make coffee, grab the paper. By then she is up and looking uber cute. We talk while I make breakfast and she cleans up. We'll jump in the shower together; perhaps have sex before or during. Get gussied up and hit the road. See each other in between class (we are on two different campuses in montreal). We go out for lunch with class mates or our mutaul friends, sometimes alone. Then we go home after school, watch tv and stretch and workout together. Sometimes I run lines with her or I help her stretch. But when I act it turns her on and when she stretches it turns me on... so we've just stopped doing it... too distracting. The sex was nice though lol. Then we'll go sit in bed and snuggle as we watch tv and sleep.

If we are both home in the summer, we'll go home to NB and live at home (which are seperate places :P). Usually we spend all day together, other times we won't see each other. We are both very busy. But we have the same groups of friends so it's hard not to spend lots of time together. And I certainly don't mind.

ShaniFaye · 08-17-2006, 03:24 AM

Our weekday schedule

My alarm is set for 5 but I usually wake up around 430 and I spend that 30 minutes giving dave extra snuggles, or sometimes I go ahead and get up (depends on how bad I gotta pee lol). When I get up I have a cigarette and read for about 15 minutes and then brush my teeth and take my shower.

I fix dave a cup of hawiian punch and go sit on the side of the bed and wake him up at 530

I put on my face while dave has a smoke, then he gets in the shower while Im fixing my hair. We get dressed and I braid his hair and we go to fix our lunch for the day (usually a bologna sammich for him and a ham sammich for me plus a snack pack of butterscotch pudding) we discuss what we want for dinner so I know if I need to lay anything out.

Check to make sure that Morgana has food and water and we head out the door by 6:05.

I get off work at 330 everyday so Im home by 4, I get home flip on the computer and do "kitchen" stuff (like emptying the dishwasher) and getting every thing laid out I need to cook (If Im the one cooking that nite).

Then I either play online, or if nothing is going on I flop on the couch and watch tv. Dave gets off work at 5 and calls me when he gets on the road so, depending on what we are having for dinner, I can figure out when to start....we like to eat pretty much when he gets home at 530...6 at the latest.

We clean up from dinner (most nites...sometimes Im just too tired lol) then watch tv while I surf online. *Usually* we shut everything down between 8-830 and head to bed, where if we arent tired we have sex. Then it starts all over

Weekends:

If its not a weekend with Amanda...

Wake up between 430-5, sometimes if Im lucky I can sleep til 6, and we lay in bed and watch TV and discuss how we are going to be lazy (if we didnt have plans for the weekend or if there is no yard work to be done) and not even get dressed all day lol. I will get up and fix a big breakfast, we will eat and we will go back to bed around 10 or so for sex and a nap. (If he's doing yardwork, I do housework while he does that, then when he's done we have the sex/nap thing lol)

If its a weekend with Amanda, we usually have something we are doing so I wake up by 5 and get up and get "ready for the day" and get Manda up so she can help me cook breakfast and we are out the door by 8ish to go whereever we are going.

tooth · 08-17-2006, 06:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya

Well shoot, I really thought this thread would get more responses! Oh well.

Nobody wants to admit how boring and routine their lives are.

abaya · 08-17-2006, 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tooth

Nobody wants to admit how boring and routine their lives are.

Ah, but I think there is a beauty in daily rituals, even if they do seem boring and routine. I just like to see how other people maintain their relationships with small, regular gestures during the day... perhaps boring, but that's what makes relationships tick.

Lots of scheduled maintenance!

healer · 08-17-2006, 06:59 AM

Mandy and I still both live with our parents, so though we live 10mins apart, it's a long way from that living-together feeling (or what I hope it's going to feel like).

She's usually up before me in the morning and will either send me an sms or gimme a call on my cellphone to let me know that she's woken up. I'll reply when I wake up, usually with an sms to tell her I love her and to have a good day. Then it's an sms/call when either of us leave for work/school and another when we get there.

In the evening, we'll let each other know when we're leaving work/school in the usual way and again when we get home. We go to the gym together most weeknights, between 7 and 9PM. Then it's back to her house for supper and some tv on the couch. Some kissing and snuggling usually ensues (she just can't keep her hands off me

) and I'll usually leave there between 10 and 11. We do this thing where we kiss each other 5 times before we part.

When I get home I'll sms her to let her know that I got home ok and then we'll swap messages until it's bed-time. Can't wait till we're married and living together. Then hopefully there'll be some sex somewhere in that routine.

Sage · 08-17-2006, 07:09 AM

Martel and I have the alarm go off at 7:55am, and hit snooze a couple of times so we can cuddle and such before he gets up to shower and get dressed. He'll come back in and kiss me, and then leave for work. I usually don't roll out of bed until after he leaves, and I get up, pee and brush teeth, put clothes on and go into the den to work. We call each other at least once during the day to talk about what we're doing that night and to say we love each other, and to complain about whatever problem is going on with work that day.

He gets home around 5:30, and we snuggle and greet each other for about thirty minutes to an hour after that. Then we either go out to get dinner or I make dinner- sometimes we watch a movie, sometimes we just watch tv, or play video games. We'll have sex somewhere in there too if we're not too tired. We get ready for bed around 12am, and hop in bed making sure the alarm is on and snuggle until we fall asleep.

We're so cute

cierah · 08-17-2006, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abaya

Cierah, I definitely know the feeling. Ktspktsp and I are well-acquainted with long-distance "ritual"... but yeah, we've been lucky to have almost two months together this summer.

But for long-distance, we have a fairly set "ritual" as well... of course there's no physical contact, but we have a system of taking turns to start e-mail contact in the morning, keeping in touch during the day, and coming together online at night to talk about whatever.

Sigh, gonna have to get used to the distance thing again... so nice, after the summer.

Yeah. I didn't really think about the ld relationship having rituals but I guess we do. Cuz he always phones at the same time and we have the 'inside jokes' that are our own personal rituals - and of course there is the saying goodnight ritual that is all gooey and such so I won't scar you all with it.

I like thinking that we have rituals even though we aren't physically together. Still can't wait until the physical rituals happen, though.

genuinegirly · 08-17-2006, 08:05 PM

Cierah- i'm in the same boat as you.

wake up.
hug a pillow.
shower.
call the other half. discuss plans for the day. go to class.

Guess this is how it'll be for a while.

Willravel · 08-17-2006, 08:12 PM

Awake at 8:00 (I get to mak my own hours). Usually a lot of kissing and snuggling for about 15 minutes or so (I leave altoids on my nightstand). I get up, shower and get dressed, wake up my daughter and read to her for a bit. Wife gets up around 8:30ish (she also makes her own hours), and showers/dresses. We have family breakfast.

I get home sometime between 5:30 and 6. I like to surprise my wife with a little something every few days when she gets home from work. Flowers, poetry, music, a post it note with a cheezy line. Just something that reminds her how much I love her. I try to mix it up as much as possible, so it seems fresh. This has been going on since before we were married. Last night I had orange creme yogurt, her favorite, ready for her. I played piano for her as she ate it. It's fun. We have dinner, watch some tv, read some books, or go out to a movie, enjoy TFP...something to pass the time. I like to go out to social events, but a 2 year old girl can only take so much. After she goes to sleep, the wife and I usually stay up a bit and talk. This is usually the magic hour.

Weekends are different for me because I work Tuesday through Saturday. Sunday is usually our day to have fun and go out. My parents or my in laws love babysitting, so we can often have a great deal of time to ourselves. We don't really have rituals for the weekends except for dinner and a movie night on Sunday. The family all comes over for a big dinner and watches a movie on Sundays. It helps to keep us connected.

This post seemed to move away from Sexuality. It's in there, but I don't know if it's the point...oh well.

abaya · 08-21-2006, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

This post seemed to move away from Sexuality. It's in there, but I don't know if it's the point...oh well.

Initially I put it here because it had to do with relationships, and the TFP gods destined all relationship threads to be put into Sexuality. But come to think of it, you're right... it's kinda more suited to Living. Maybe someone will move it.

In any case, it's cool to hear more stories. Sage, you guys ARE cute, and that's just fine.

Will, I loved your description of what you do with your wife... the little romantic things every few days. That's the kind of stuff that keeps her in love, and keeps it going strong between you. Good work!

And I like how you called your talking time "the magic hour."

As for long-distance... yep, I know it feels.

07-27-2006, 04:22 AM	#1 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	Couples' daily rituals By ritual, I'm not talking about taking communion here... I'm curious about how those of you in relationships (especially if you live together) start and end your average day. I realize that those with kids have a pretty different schedule than the rest of us, but I'd be interested to hear your "rituals" as well. Chalk it up to my social scientist side. Ktspktsp and I are living together this summer (since I have a job in Philly, which is such a nice change from our usual long-distance) and I've noticed that we have a certain pattern to our getting up in the morning and going to sleep on weekdays/nights: Getting up: A few snoozes on the alarm, then he kisses me and gets up (he has to leave for work before I do) around 7:15am. I take my time waking up while he makes his espresso and turns on the laptop to check the news and his e-mail. I get up 10 minutes later and go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, make the bed, all that jazz... then usually get my cereal and crash onto the couch next to him. I lean against him while he's surfing the internet for 20-30 mins until he has to leave for work; then he brushes his teeth, gets dressed, puts on his shoes, and kisses me before making for the door. I usually ask for a morning hug before he leaves (something that is really important for me), and then after he's gone I take my turn on the internet and start getting ready for my workday. Going to bed: Between 11pm-midnight we realize it's getting late, so one or both of us starts getting ready for bed in the bathroom (washing contacts, brushing teeth, etc). Ktspktsp is often still reading news on the internet, so I get into bed earlier and read or try to sleep. He eventually comes to bed and we might talk or snuggle a bit, usually with me on the crook of his shoulder, before falling asleep. Occasionally we have sex, but it's not every night since he's pretty tired during the week. Of course, on the weekends it's entirely different... more relaxed and laid-back, with more time for snuggling. But I assume that's the same for most people? What are your "daily rituals" as couples? __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran Last edited by abaya; 07-27-2006 at 05:19 AM..

07-27-2006, 05:46 AM	#3 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	Ours changes every day between a few scenarios... Either he gets up at 5:30, often before the alarm goes off, turns it off and takes the cats with him into the other room and closes the door. Often the cats will take this opportunity to snuggle and say good morning as well. He's left his work clothes in the 2nd bedroom so he doesn't wake me. He's gone by 5:47a for the gym, having washed his face and teeth and gotten dressed. I get up around 6:30a... hit snooze once or twice and drag my tush to the bathroom to pee, then shower, then get ready, then have breakfast/make latte in my travel mug, then get dressed and leave, often by around 7:45. We often meet on the bus on the way out, since the bus at our house stops at his gym as well. Other days, my routine is the same, but Q will get up at 7am, pee, shower, eat breakfast while on the computer, get dressed, and then we'll both leave together. And other days, I get up at 5-530a to go to PT or other things, and he'll either go to the gym at 530 or regular work at 7am. And SOMEtimes, not that often, but every once in a while... we are late to work for a morning quickie. Those are good mornings. At night, frankly, life is just too busy to actually have a routine. If we're home, we can start going to bed at 9:30 or 11:30, depending on busyness and levels of exhaustion. Q has rehearsals for shows or music or meetings or seminars or open mic sessions or stuff with friends or errands, and gets home all different times. I have classes or volunteering or stuff with friends or errands, and I also get home all different times. Plus there's homework, or for Q, practicing scripts or songs. But when we can, we both decide it's bedtime, and we both wash faces/brush teeth, and crawl into bed, and cuddle (usually I'm resting my head on his shoulder), and we often talk 30-45 minutes about our days and things. We never mean to, it's just that we can't help but chat for a while. And then we pass out. Lately, this involves Q actually falling asleep before me (previously unimaginable), and snoring very loudly. I then jostle him until he says "Was I snoring? Was I snoring? I'm sorry!". I want my pillow and my guy. sniffle __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

07-27-2006, 08:36 AM	#5 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	It depends on the day, and because it's summer, our schedules are all over the place, and we're out a lot more with friends. Morning: MWF I am up and out of bed at 7:20. After a shower, dressing, and some TFP I wake him up before I leave for work. I am out the door by 7:40. T/Th he tries to not wake me up while he gets up and gets ready for work, since he has to be out the door by 8:40, and I like to sleep in on my days off. Afternoon: He gets off work at 5pm. I pick him up and we drive home--it's only a five-minute drive but it makes it so much easier for him at the end of the day, especially if it's been a hard day at work. Sometimes we stop off at the grocery store and run errands, sometimes we just want to go home and play computer games together. Evening: Tuesdays we go to our favorite bar in town for pint night ($2 pints!). Wednesdays is his frisbee night. I don't really care for many of the people on his frisbee team, or the park where they play, so I usually stay home for the game but go out afterwards for pizza. Thursday is pizza and pint night at the same bar ($4 for a pint and a slice of pizza, how can you go wrong). Looking at this it might seem like we drink a lot, lol, but the fact is we usually don't make all of these nights, usually just one a week or so. We also have some TV-centered rituals during the schoolyear--we always watch Good Eats at 7pm every night, I never miss House and he puts up with it, and we both watch Sci-Fi Fridays. On Sundays I work until 9:30pm, so I come home, we watch Adult Swim, and go to bed. Evening: After we get home from being out if we've been out, we might play some games for a bit or I'll browse the Internet. Eventually between 10 and 11pm we head off to bed, he gets me a glass of water, and we talk until we're sleepy. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

08-01-2006, 10:48 AM	#7 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	Well shoot, I really thought this thread would get more responses! Oh well. I enjoyed reading all of your posts, and find it fascinating how much we all have in common. Our relationships seem rather stable, however... out of curiousity, I wonder what the habits are for couples who are just starting out, or are hitting a rough spot? __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

08-16-2006, 03:43 PM	#9 (permalink)
cierah Crazy Location: Canada	This is actually one thing that sucks the most for me being in a LD relationship. I can't wait until we are physically together in order to have the stability and comfort to have little daily rituals. You guys are lucky! __________________ "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J. Lec

07-27-2006, 05:08 AM	#2 (permalink)
Average_Joe Psycho Location: Under the Radar	Here are our typical morning and evening rituals: Morning: I typically wake up at 5AM to go running and biking, and I'm home by 6AM before the kids wake up. I let my wife sleep in until 7AM because she needs 8-9 hours of sleep at night to be functional. The kids all wake up between 6 & 7, and I feed them, change diapers, get them ready for school. Somewhere in there, I eat breakfast and even start a little housework if I feel ambitious. I wake the wife up at 7 and head into the shower to get ready for work. While I'm in the shower, she eats breakfast, feeds the baby, and ensures that the older ones are ready for school (or camp for a couple weeks this summer). After cleaning myself up, I get dressed, grab the briefcase, and head out the door to bring the older ones to the bus stop. From the bus stop, I'm off to work. My wife is at home tending to the babies and cleaning house. Evenings: The kids are in bed by 8 - 8:30PM. Tyipically, we just head to the bedroom to watch TV or read. At around 10 we are both ready to sleep, so we talk for about 30 minutes, and brush our teeth, etc. We then just drift of to sleep holding each other. And, yea, sometimes we skip the TV/reading part and have sex. Weekends: Unfortunately, the mornings and evenings aren't much different, but I don't work weekends, so the days are mostly reserved for recreation with the kids & shopping.

07-29-2006, 03:52 AM	#6 (permalink)
Gilda 32 flavors and then some Location: Out on a wire.	During the school year: Morning: My alarm goes off and I get it before it wakes up Grace. I get out of bed leaving Grace to sleep a bit longer, fix some tea, wake Grace up and we have morning tea together. While she showers and gets ready for the day, I fix breakfast, and Sissy will wander downstairs around this time. If it's early enough, she'll help out, but if not or if she had a long night studying, she'll just park herself at the table. We have breakfast together and I'll head upstairs to shower, brush my teeth and get dressed while she and Sissy clear the table, check e-mail and do some work on the computer, or watch some morning news. I'll make the bed as best I can. Lovey, our housekeeper, always remakes it on the days she's here, but I can't stand the idea of letting it just go unkempt until she gets here. Depending on when Grace starts work and when my and Sissy's first classes are that day, we'll each take off whenever it's convenient, which varies from day to day. Evening: Once we're sure we're doing wandering about for the evening, Grace and I will retreat to the master suite, I'll take my evening shower, or sometimes we'll share an evening bath together, do the evening beauty ritual, remove makeup, moisturize, touch up nails if necessary, make love if we feel like it, cuddle up and watch a little tv together for a bit. Grace goes to sleep about three to four hours earlier than I do. Once she's in bed, I'll pick out outfits for the next day and get those laid out and make sure there are no wrinkles and so forth, take our evening tea tray downstairs, get it ready for the morning and check to make sure everything is turned off, the doors and windows locked, and the alarm is on. It used to bug Grace that we'd do this together before heading to bed, and I'd still do it again, but she's resigned herself to accepting that I have to check a second time or I can't sleep. I surf the net for a bit, do some work, read comic books, and at about 1:00-2:00, or whenever I get sleepy, I'll cuddle up and doze off. When I'm not working, I'll take care of Grace and Sissy in the mornings before I do my stuff at my leisure, giving us a little more morning time together, and on Grace's days off when I'm working (she'll be working the day shift M-F this coming school year--Yay, matching schedules every day ) she'll sleep in or prop herself up in bed and watch me get dressed and put on my makeup. Gilda

08-01-2006, 05:31 PM	#8 (permalink)
ryfo Psycho Location: melbourne australia	we are not starting out or hitting a rough spot but I'll share.... My SO doesnt work, so she gets up first, puts heat on, makes cuppas, and gets clothes ready, then wakes me. I stumble out of bed get dressed in front of heater while slurping cuppa. While i am doing this she is making my lunch and getting keys,wallet and such together for me. Quick trip to the bathroom and off I go while she goes back to bed.That is dayshift, Afternoon shift she gets up and goes to the gym while I sleep in and get up and make coffee. When I get home from work she makes me a drink and goes to bed while I stay up and wind down after work. Oh she also cooks lunch before I go to work and makes me food to take for dinner. Its quite old fashiioned but it works for us and we are happy (SO is on disability and craves a stress free life so cant work)

08-16-2006, 05:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	Cierah, I definitely know the feeling. Ktspktsp and I are well-acquainted with long-distance "ritual"... but yeah, we've been lucky to have almost two months together this summer. But for long-distance, we have a fairly set "ritual" as well... of course there's no physical contact, but we have a system of taking turns to start e-mail contact in the morning, keeping in touch during the day, and coming together online at night to talk about whatever. Sigh, gonna have to get used to the distance thing again... so nice, after the summer. __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

08-16-2006, 05:39 PM	#11 (permalink)
Meditrina Junkie Location: LI,NY	Our routine is about to change, but for now: On the days I work, he wakes up first and goes into the shower. I sleep until he is done, then I shower and get dressed for work. I plan out my food for the day and wait for my mother in law to show up so I can leave. I wake the kids up before I leave. My husband leaves shortly after I do. When I get home from work, he is already home and on the computer. His mom is in the kitchen cooking dinner. After dinner, I play with the kids, while he is still online and his mom cleans up (she insisted I play with the kids, who am I to argue?) She leaves, and I start getting the kids ready for bed. All the time, he is online. After they are in bed, I go online. I usually go to bed around 11 or 11:30, he shortly follows me. On the days I don't work. I sleep in until the first child wakes up. If I wake up before them, I clean. When hubby gets home, I cook dinner. After cleaning up from dinner, I play with the kids and get them ready for bed. Hubby is online. Same usual bedtime as the days I work. However, starting Sept 7th I will be working every day but home to cook dinner. I have to get used to a whole new routine before and after work. edited to add: that routine is for the summer. School year is different. Have to get the kids up and out for school. __________________ "Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

08-16-2006, 07:57 PM	#12 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	When I was on tour we had a schedule, she was still attending school and had a very early class so around eight o'clock my alarm would go off. Two minutes or so later the phone would ring. Fast forward to lunch time, we call each other again. Fast forward to nine thirty. On the dot. Every night. The phone would ring and we would talk, or watch TV together over the phone. When I'm home it is usally I wake up, make coffee, grab the paper. By then she is up and looking uber cute. We talk while I make breakfast and she cleans up. We'll jump in the shower together; perhaps have sex before or during. Get gussied up and hit the road. See each other in between class (we are on two different campuses in montreal). We go out for lunch with class mates or our mutaul friends, sometimes alone. Then we go home after school, watch tv and stretch and workout together. Sometimes I run lines with her or I help her stretch. But when I act it turns her on and when she stretches it turns me on... so we've just stopped doing it... too distracting. The sex was nice though lol. Then we'll go sit in bed and snuggle as we watch tv and sleep. If we are both home in the summer, we'll go home to NB and live at home (which are seperate places :P). Usually we spend all day together, other times we won't see each other. We are both very busy. But we have the same groups of friends so it's hard not to spend lots of time together. And I certainly don't mind. __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

08-17-2006, 03:24 AM	#13 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	Our weekday schedule My alarm is set for 5 but I usually wake up around 430 and I spend that 30 minutes giving dave extra snuggles, or sometimes I go ahead and get up (depends on how bad I gotta pee lol). When I get up I have a cigarette and read for about 15 minutes and then brush my teeth and take my shower. I fix dave a cup of hawiian punch and go sit on the side of the bed and wake him up at 530 I put on my face while dave has a smoke, then he gets in the shower while Im fixing my hair. We get dressed and I braid his hair and we go to fix our lunch for the day (usually a bologna sammich for him and a ham sammich for me plus a snack pack of butterscotch pudding) we discuss what we want for dinner so I know if I need to lay anything out. Check to make sure that Morgana has food and water and we head out the door by 6:05. I get off work at 330 everyday so Im home by 4, I get home flip on the computer and do "kitchen" stuff (like emptying the dishwasher) and getting every thing laid out I need to cook (If Im the one cooking that nite). Then I either play online, or if nothing is going on I flop on the couch and watch tv. Dave gets off work at 5 and calls me when he gets on the road so, depending on what we are having for dinner, I can figure out when to start....we like to eat pretty much when he gets home at 530...6 at the latest. We clean up from dinner (most nites...sometimes Im just too tired lol) then watch tv while I surf online. Usually we shut everything down between 8-830 and head to bed, where if we arent tired we have sex. Then it starts all over Weekends: If its not a weekend with Amanda... Wake up between 430-5, sometimes if Im lucky I can sleep til 6, and we lay in bed and watch TV and discuss how we are going to be lazy (if we didnt have plans for the weekend or if there is no yard work to be done) and not even get dressed all day lol. I will get up and fix a big breakfast, we will eat and we will go back to bed around 10 or so for sex and a nap. (If he's doing yardwork, I do housework while he does that, then when he's done we have the sex/nap thing lol) If its a weekend with Amanda, we usually have something we are doing so I wake up by 5 and get up and get "ready for the day" and get Manda up so she can help me cook breakfast and we are out the door by 8ish to go whereever we are going. __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-17-2006, 07:09 AM	#17 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	Martel and I have the alarm go off at 7:55am, and hit snooze a couple of times so we can cuddle and such before he gets up to shower and get dressed. He'll come back in and kiss me, and then leave for work. I usually don't roll out of bed until after he leaves, and I get up, pee and brush teeth, put clothes on and go into the den to work. We call each other at least once during the day to talk about what we're doing that night and to say we love each other, and to complain about whatever problem is going on with work that day. He gets home around 5:30, and we snuggle and greet each other for about thirty minutes to an hour after that. Then we either go out to get dinner or I make dinner- sometimes we watch a movie, sometimes we just watch tv, or play video games. We'll have sex somewhere in there too if we're not too tired. We get ready for bed around 12am, and hop in bed making sure the alarm is on and snuggle until we fall asleep. We're so cute __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

08-17-2006, 08:05 PM	#19 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	Cierah- i'm in the same boat as you. wake up. hug a pillow. shower. call the other half. discuss plans for the day. go to class. Guess this is how it'll be for a while. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

08-17-2006, 08:12 PM	#20 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	Awake at 8:00 (I get to mak my own hours). Usually a lot of kissing and snuggling for about 15 minutes or so (I leave altoids on my nightstand). I get up, shower and get dressed, wake up my daughter and read to her for a bit. Wife gets up around 8:30ish (she also makes her own hours), and showers/dresses. We have family breakfast. I get home sometime between 5:30 and 6. I like to surprise my wife with a little something every few days when she gets home from work. Flowers, poetry, music, a post it note with a cheezy line. Just something that reminds her how much I love her. I try to mix it up as much as possible, so it seems fresh. This has been going on since before we were married. Last night I had orange creme yogurt, her favorite, ready for her. I played piano for her as she ate it. It's fun. We have dinner, watch some tv, read some books, or go out to a movie, enjoy TFP...something to pass the time. I like to go out to social events, but a 2 year old girl can only take so much. After she goes to sleep, the wife and I usually stay up a bit and talk. This is usually the magic hour. Weekends are different for me because I work Tuesday through Saturday. Sunday is usually our day to have fun and go out. My parents or my in laws love babysitting, so we can often have a great deal of time to ourselves. We don't really have rituals for the weekends except for dinner and a movie night on Sunday. The family all comes over for a big dinner and watches a movie on Sundays. It helps to keep us connected. This post seemed to move away from Sexuality. It's in there, but I don't know if it's the point...oh well.