tecoyah

I was curious to see how many of us homeschool our Kids.....and perhaps share some Ideas on what is working, and what is not.

We homeschool our three and five year olds, and the Five year old attends a waldorf school twice a week. We have decided upon this route primarily because we believe we can better prepare our children for life than Public school. My wife and I are both well educated, and there is a large homeschooling community in this area which allows for wonderful social interaction.

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ShaniFaye

My daughter has been home schooled since she was 4 (she's now 11 1/2). Our county has a GREAT homeschool association and she loves everything to do with it.

She took her first standarized test lest year (the Iowa test) and placed in the top 2% of the nation and was on a high school level for everything but math, and with that she was on an 8th grade level.

With her homeschool group she takes spanish, art, piano, and dance (ballet and pointe) and they have an outing once a week and a sleep over at one of our houses once a month.

By homeschooling I can teach her things that just arent allowed in public school and arent gone over in depth with her age group at church....She is WELL aware of the different religions, we have classes about them. She is WELL aware of atheism as well, especially since a lot of my friends are atheists. But my reasoning is two fold...the religion aspect and the fact that she is as smart as I was and would have gotten VERY bored in public school, like I did.

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braisler

Kudos to you and your wife for taking control of your children's education. I was home schooled for one year growing up due to a conflict with the local public school system. It worked well for me.

It is great that you live somewhere that homeschooling doesn't translate to social isolation. That is one of the only arguements against homeschooling that makes any sense. Children do need to interact in order to grow socially.

It probably won't happen right away, but consider getting a tutor for particular areas as your children age. For example, if you or your wife is not proficient in chemistry, hire a grad student from a local University to come in and teach the kids the information they will need.

Paradise Lost

I think the social interaction aspect of it is fooey, since, it's my belief that most of the
children's homeschooling education is (at least it seems) more formal, structured, logical,
more well reasoned - structured in a slightly philosophical way. They think through
what they see and don't understand why there are those who interact the way they
do, and may only seem socially inept - but in reality may seem much more
adapted for social behavior than a lot of other people out there who grew
up 'regularly.'

Anyway, I think homeschooling is a wonderful idea, and if maybe not doing it till
children are of college age, at least until they reach high school. If structured well
enough, I feel that a kid can learn WAY more than they would ever be able to in
any kind of school system (except one that Huxley wrote about in the 1920s, which
I also feel would work as well as homeschooling but with the nice social-interaction
of a normal school.)

Aspects of subjects are able to be covered better than at school, because you don't
have to worry about how the other kids in class may be doing when you go that in
depth, or for purposes of testing, etc, there isn't any need to go quite so indepth.
Plus, as ShaniFaye implicitly stated, you can make your kids well aware of certain
areas without the pressure of a school board bearing it's weight down on you to
stay away from naughty topics such as religion.

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powerclown

I have reservations about homeschooling. Yes, one might be able to control what goes into a kids head for the next 5-6-7 years, but after that its impossible to control what kids are exposed to, nor do I think its necessarily helpful to shelter them from the realities of life. They need to learn how to get along in the real world, with all its imperfections and challenges. They need to develop mental & emotional resilience. Plus, I think it sows the seeds of Rebellion even further.

Sweetpea

although not a parent myself . . . My sister and i were homeschooled for many years of my education and went to private school for High School, i would recommend that you let your children attend a real school duing high school, as it is an imporant time for learning about yourself and relating to others . . . which prepared me to be confident in my college career . . .

both my parents are educated and it was a good fit . . . when homeschooled . . . time slowed down for our family, and we were able to relish the idea of learning new things without peer pressure or other things that at times prohibit children from learning in a school enviroment.

One thing i would like to note is to make sure that your children have the social interaction and peers that they feel they can relate to. I know that being 'outside' the public school community was at times difficult for me, as i felt alone and that i didn't belong (which when you are young seems important) We joined 4-H and got into horses (but it also has programs around all kinds of animals, photography, computers etc) . . . that really shaped the person that i am today, as it taught alot of values, tolerance and respect . . . i am not sure if you have a strong 4-H program in your area, but it was a valuable and wonderful social outlet for my sister and i when homeschooled and i would suggest you look into it . . .

So, in a nutshell, homeschooling is wonderful, it helped to prepare me well for college and the career i am part of now . . .

good luck! enjoy every day . . .

Sweetpea

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ShaniFaye

what about getting a quality education? what about the child actually learning something? My child gets along just fine in the real world and socializes more than I did at that age, because I was considered a "nerd"....when in an association as active as ours is there is NO danger of being "isolated" and they are still around kids of other races, religions etc. She is in other activities with kids 5 days a week. Its not about what my child is or isnt "exposed" to, its about well rounding her so that she isnt sitting in a class room being held back because she's faster than the 30 some odd kids sitting around her, its about her learning at a pace which keeps her challeneged and productive.

It was 1979 when I was her age....homeschooling wasnt what it is now.... I was in the "gifted" which consisted of being given "research" projects...none of which took me more than two days, I couldnt be kept focused or busy or stilmulated enuff. I wasnt going to have her go what I went thru for the sake of "being in public/private" school.

I wonder if the people that say these kinds of things really realize just how far homeschooling has come and how the "stereo type" that has been put on it is very outdated.

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absorbentishe

My wife homeschools our 11, 8 and 5 year olds. She is actually working through an online program in Ohio, and it is working out great. We took a field trip Tuesday to the Ohio State house, I went, and it was really cool, other than the 2 and a half hour drive. The kids are doing way more than "in school", and are learning at a faster rate. They've done excellent, and so has she.

Grasshopper Green

I would actually consider homeschooling my son when he gets to that age (he's 3) but my husband and I both work, so I don't see it as being a possibility. I was lucky and went to decent schools but I know plenty of them aren't and as for the socialization stuff, kids in general are mean as hell and my school experience is nothing but one bad memory. I think homeschooling definitely has its benefits.

powerclown

I probably don't know how far it has come, you are right. Maybe I was over-generalizing. My apologies.

ShaniFaye

powerclown....I think a lot of people are like that....(I hope what I said didnt sound "harsh" as thats not what I meant)

My sister and my 1st husband were both homeschooled in the 80's and early 90's....I know first hand how much different it is now, thats why I so passionately try to get people to understand that maybe they just dont know what they think they might know.

I will be the first to admit that its not for everyone, it takes a LOT of work and commitment on the part of the parent AND the child. I've known some parents that do it just because they were tired of their kid getting in trouble at school so they take them out and say " I'll homeschool them and end all the aggravation". It doesnt work that way.

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DJ Happy

What about extra-curricular activities, such as being part of a stage production or being on the cricket (or basketball) team? How do these sort of things work with kids who are homeschooled?

ShaniFaye

There are many ways to do stuff like that.....most cities where I live have recreational teams thru the county for all kinds of sports...football, basketball soccer...or places like the YMCA. You dont have to belong to a public school to play sports. And if your child is a girl and wants to do things like cheerleading you can do that with the county as well. Heck I was a county team cheerleader when I was younger, cause I wasnt "good enuff" for the public school team. Thats the nice thing about things like this....you can do things and be on teams and still get the "life experience" and arent told you arent good enuff to participate.

Our homeschool association does things as well...each year we have stage productions, dance recitals, music recitals,baking "cookoffs", fashion shows and other "showcases" for all our kids talents. The association dance group that my daughter is involved in has performed in malls, at the festival of trees, several things like that and they also go to assisted living homes and perform.

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eribrav

Shani could you elaborate more on the cross-section of kids you have in your home schooling group? I'm not a Christian, and I get the sense that local home schoolers around here have a heavy evangelical Christian bent. It's a concern I have as I consider home schooling in the future.

Thanks.

ShaniFaye

We have christians of course...we have kids in the group from places such as India, Vietnam, Thailand, and Pakistan....we even have "pagan" group. I wont lie and say the main base isnt christian....but our coummunity is such a multicultural one that we have people of lots of different nationalties.

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xxSquirtxx

I've been homeschooling my kids on and off since my oldest (13 1/2) was in first grade. They are both now in private school, but we may very well be homeschooling again this next school year.

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sexymama

As a public school teacher in an excellent district, I see a time and a place for both. ShaniFaye is right, it takes a LOT of work and commitment to home school! As long as you work it, the research is very positive in support of homeschooling. However, I have many a student come to my classroom from a homeschool situation in which the parents didn't do their part. These children are behind academically and socially. If you choose to homeschool, please do it right. Set aside "school time" daily and enroll your children in outside activities (such as gymnastics, soccer, etc.)

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yellowchef

Shani congrats on your girl being so smart. Shes way ahead of her time for everything! The homeschooling of today is very different. If youre lucky to live in or near a larger city they probably have one or many homeschooling groups/associations/organizations and if you live in a small town many churches have national groups that will help you with teaching plans, materials and give you a place to send your national standardized tests to be graded. Homeschooling is a good option if the parent can find ways to get their child socially active. I agree though that by high school the child should attend a private or a public school if the parent has done the research for the district, spoken with teachers, principals and other administration of the school and can see an outline of what their child might take so they can approve it. I also think coming out of Homeschooling the parent and child should be able to sit through a day of classes to see if they would enjoy the setting so the parent and child can make a well informed decison on their education.

Its all about your school district and the amount of time you have to dedicate to schooling your child. Also if you cant afford the money or time involved in homeschooling, BECOME MORE ACTIVE IN YOUR CHILDS SCHOOL DISTRICT. Thats what I notice most about schools that get poor grades(in FL we use a grading A, B, C style system) is the lack of parent participation. Ive been fortunate and in grade school I went to the same elementary school as my Mom, at the time it had high marks and offered LOTS of attention to children. It had an advanced learning program that I was in, then my brother was in normal very small classes. The parent participation in that school was amazing though, every teacher knew every childs parent by face, and most parents came to the monthly PTA meetings or at least read the notes. Then when we moved to FL I went to 5th grade at a school that had an A+ rating and later I found out my Mom looked for housing in that specific district because the Elementary, Middle and High Schools I would attend all had A, or A+ markings. I was pretty involved in school activities, and my parents were involved as well. There were very few kids even in high school who didnt have parents that had contributed something(money, time, other donations) or that didnt attend a school board meeting here and there. So not all public schools are bad, but you have to research and stay informed. Some people think homeschooling is a way to fix things but its never a fix, it takes time and patience. Sending your kid to public school requires involvement. LOTS of it. I dont like how parents just think their kids get on the bus and are ready to learn everything they need to know about life.

buckruss

If you plan on home schooling through the high school years, make sure you are using an accredited program that provides a transcript and take all standardized test. Otherwise when your child starts college they will have a harder time getting accepted and worse trying to get financial aid (requires high school transcript.)

My wife was home schooled, and we are learning the difficulties in trying to get her enrolled in college and get any type of finicial aid.

xxSquirtxx

That's good to know - thank you for the heads-up.

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squirrelyburt

We homeschooled my 10 year old for a semester last year due to problems between him and the teacher. My son has ADHD and reacts badly to chocolate...we tried and tried to work with the guy but to no avail...we found out he was giving tootsie rolls as rewards. I about strangled him!! Anyhow, we pulled him for a semester and he really liked it. When it came time to move to 5th grade, he was tested and was found to be reading at an 11th grade level. I think it worked

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Rodney

I don't have kids, but I work in education. Homeschooling and other alternative education options are popular in our county, including charter schools as well as private schools, and the county office of education has a homeschooling office that helps parents stay on course and plans regular weekly activities that kids and their parents can go to, including field trips. So they can make friends and socialize.

That said, the home-schooled kids I know about (with the exception of one who had emotional and developmental problems) all did regular high school, whether public or private, for purposes of socialization and getting used to education institutions more similar to college.

Even with the help, it's a lot of work. One parent pretty much has to stay home. So homeschooling is rarely an option for people who're living hand to mouth, or who both have to work.

Public schools are in trouble these days, no more so than in California where I live. But there are fine schools, even with all the stumbling blocks thrown in the way, and the key is parental participation. I've seen some really fine elementary schools which do great work despite low budgets because they've fostered a corps of parental and community volunteers who tutor kids, teach small groups, help set up activities, and so on. If your state supports charter schools, I would also suggest this as an option for people who can't home-school. Some charter schools give a brilliant education. We have a college prep 7-12 charter school here than has 300 kids already and more beating down the door to get in. It's a private-school education on a public school budget. Charter schools _do_ require parental involvement -- many ask a minimum of 40 hours of volunteer work a year -- and because teachers need not be certified, many parents with specialized knowledge present lessons (in conjunction with the regular teachers). You have to shop around, because charter schools are pretty much a free-market proposition -- some are bad, some are good, some are thriving, some are dying -- but if you can find the right one and start investigating how to get your kid into it, it's a great way to go.

ironmaiden7o7

I wouldn't say that homeschooling is better than a regular school, if you have the time and you can be home to teach your children, I would say go ahead, but most people aren't given that opportunity to stay at home and teach their children. In my opinion, a regular school is better and there are teachers who are professionals, teaching these kids, and also, they are interacting with other kids, which is preparing them for the future, at home, they are limited to these things. I don't have children, when I do get married and have some, I doubt I'd want to send them to the public schools around here. There are so many fears that goes through my mind each day, I can imagine how parents must feel, so, much respect for giving your child what you think is best. I am sure I would do the same, whatever that may be.

absorbentishe

<B>ironmaiden7o7</B>, I disagree with what you are saying. There are more advantages to homeschooling, than going to regular school. Yes, there's less socialization, but being home schooled, you have more opportunities than you think. In the last 5 to 10 years, the movement for home schooling has increased, and the opportunities for socialization have also increased. Here in Ohio, we have a great program that my wife is following, and there are more field trips available to us than to regular schools.

EULA

Although I don't have any children, if I did I would go the unschooling route. It's an educational model and parenting model where there is no "teaching" or compulsion of any sort. The child does whatever they want, the parenting side of it is you treat them like an adult. If they want to play YuGiOh all day, that's their decision.

The underlying principle is: learning is more enjoyable and effective if it is up to the child, and if you treat them like adults, they will start acting like adults a lot sooner.

Yes, it sounds crazy. There are no bed times; if they don't want to clean their room ever, that's their choice; they don't have to eat everything on their plate. "Have to" is removed from the parenting process.

For more info, look through the message boards at unschooling.com and see how parents do this. The most surprising thing about this whole thing is that unschoolers are met with disrespect from friends, family, and other homeschoolers (who basically recreate the school inside the home).

There are several people that have posted on the unschooling board about their having to end friendships and relationships with relatives, because (instead of saying "Hi, little Johnny" when they visited) they would say things like, "What's the capital of Michigan? What is 200 divided by 15?"

John Holt was a big contributer to the philosophy of unschooling. Here's a 1980 Playboy interview with him at the beginning of the idea that shoving knowledge into childrens' brains was never a good idea.

Here's one of my favorite posts at the unschooling board that I know homeschoolers would enjoy:

Coppertop

Why does it seem everyone here assumes the two are mutually exclusive? Can parents not send their children to a public (or private as it may be) school and also instruct them at home? I should think the child would benefit all the more from this.

That being said, I'd say simply encouraging your children to read (any and everything) does wonders for educating them.

EULA

I can't imagine how miserable my childhood would have been had to go through 6 hours of "instruction" and then had come home to more instruction.

Hobbes: "If no one makes you do it, it counts as fun."

yellowchef

It doesnt have to be super fomal instruction like at school. I remeber we had half day kindergarten classes, so I would get up in the mornings for school and in the afternoons my Grandpa helped me improve my reading(by 5 I read the morning paper with him) and writing skills as well as basic math and sentance formation. It was fun, never boring or forced. It was nice spending time with my Grandpa and if I didnt wanna do it... well I never had to. Instruction can be as simple as reading a story together, or baking a cake to figure out math... writing a poem from a book to paper to practice writing.. when theyre older simple involvement in homework.. trivia games, talking to them for god's sake about current events...

Theres nothing worse than the lack of parental interaction with their kids and their childs schooling. Public or private they have to be involved. Just because a kid walks through their front door at home doesnt mean that they should stop learning.

EULA

The parents should be involved in order to trick the student into believing that what they do at school is valuable.
Life is educational enough without book work or less formal activities that are coerced. For that matter, when does a kid have time to be alone and find out who they are?

raeanna74

The public schools in our area suck. Especially the highschool.

I went to public school in our area from 3rd - 6th grade. I was in an accelerated program for math in elementary school. In junior high they had not such program and so they intended to put me and other's in my group back through the exact same math books we'd just completed. My mother who had a bachelors in El Ed figured she could at least do that well. She homeschooled me from 7th grade through highschool. They had an excellent homeschoolers support and activity group at that time and I never lacked in things to do. Because I had more time to incorporate more extracurricular activities into my schedule I got to get involved with the astronomy teacher at a local highschool and work with his planitarium a little. I was able to get involved with the DNR and even had the opportunity to work in a fire tower though I chose another opportunity for that summer. I was able to get involved in the local artists association and learned some other types of artwork as well as got to sell a few of my pieces at a local art fair. I could go on and on. The opportunities are endless. The homeschool group numbered over 100 students when I graduated in '92 and has grown so large that it has split into two groups now. The pop in my town is only 10k and the nearby larger town numbers around 30k I think (I'll have to check and edit that if needed.) I even got to graduate in a class of two students and a state congressman (and former Iran-Contra prisoner) spoke at my graduation, how cool is that.

I plan to homeschool my daughter for kindergarten this year. I do home day care as many of you know and the mother of the oldest child that I watch is a special education teacher for our public school district. She has asked me to homeschool her daughter for preschool this year. She is eager to see how it goes and has expressed to me an interest in going that route for her own daughter - even to the point of leaving teaching to pursue it sometime in the future. If a teacher in the local district is considering sometime in the future leaving the lucrative job of hers to homeschool her own daughter then what does it say about the schools here.

Needless to say if my daughter does ever seriously desire to go into another school I would be putting her into a montessori school about 20 minutes away or into a local parochial school (Protestant) in which I student taught.

My brother was homeschooled from Kindergarten through highschool and is quite smart. A little immature but relates well to most others. He is only 24 but is working to support his family and doing ok for himself. He's not overly rebellious and in fact works for my dad often. He has been considering going into business for himself in computers or electrical. He's quite competent in electrical.

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snowy

That's exactly what my parents did for me. My dad is a public high school principal, so homeschooling was never an option. I was a gifted/advanced student all through school because of the following reasons: 1) Education did not end once I left the classroom. My parents made sure I had plenty of educational opportunities outside of the classroom as well and opportunity to learn on my own. 2) I was encouraged to read as much as I wanted, whatever I wanted. 3) My parents set a positive example for me--they made it clear education was important. 4) I have never once taken a vacation just to take a vacation (ie sit on the beach and tan). All of our family trips have included some kind of educational experience--be it exploring the geology of a given area or going to art museums.

I learned about the world inside the classroom and outside of it, because my parents were commited to giving me the best education possible. When it comes time for me to raise my own children, I will do the same thing. I will be involved with my child's public school education and make sure they are learning the things I feel they need to know if they are not covered in the classroom. I will encourage them to pursue educational opportunities wherever they are to be found.

A parent's dedication is the most important aspect to a child's education, regardless of who educates them.

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yellowchef

Notice I never said it had to be school work... theres lots of things to do without feeling like youre in school. A walk outside where you discuss events, identify plants, talk about animals, cooking together, arts and crafts, music and singing, and all kinds of extracirricular activities. Nobody said you have to open books to learn about these things. Learning is an ongoing experience and not everything can come from a book.. but if you dont participate in your childs life and teach them do you really trust those that are willing to teach them?

And what do you mean to trick them? If you have to trick your child into beleving something is valuable then something is wrong, and as a parent it is up to you to fix it.

raeanna74

The problem with putting a kid into public school or parochial school and then finding time to have quality discussions AND get their homework done in the evenings is that most parents get lazy with it. There is a huge temptation to do the same in homeschool as well. Neither way will work if the parent isn't disciplined and the child cooperative. The kids get home from school and unless the parent gets home at the same time or one parent stays home all day then they kids are on their own until Mom and Dad get home from work. This can be any time between 5:00 and 7:00 for an average work day - not considering a parent who works a swing shift, in a hospital, or factory. Then if perchance they are home by say 6:00, what do they do but eat supper. So many families eat supper in front of the TV. But if they do eat it at the table they can have quality conversations. If their kid is a teenager it can often sound like 20 questions. Then the kid who needs help with their homework and is the type who takes forever to get it done (That's me) goes back to their homework for the evening. Then the go to bed. What R&R is there for the kid??

One thing I loved about being homeschooled is that I DID have more time with my family as well as do other creative and fun things besides homework. I was the kind of kid, though in the accelerated group, gifted classes, etc. who had to spend most of my evening doing homework. Being homeschooled, my Mom was there the whole day to keep me on task, help with questions (which I usually had a lot of and couldn't get as much help in public school) and to just encourage me to get things done. My brother on the other hand was VERY fast with his schoolwork. All through elementary school he managed to get all his daily lessons done in half of a day instead of the whole day. Since we never had to stand in line for the bathroom, waterfountain, lunch line, after recess, going to art class, etc. Our day was spent doing more important things. When my brother got done early with his lessons (which in highschool included calculus at the local technical college) he would do other extracurricular activities. For example: my brother can sew - much more than a button - a whole outfit, he can knit, he can cook, he can fix a car, he can build a maple bookshelf... so many things that my parents taught him to do. Yet he and I had time to ourselves. We lacked nothing in our education or social lives.

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yellowchef

I went to public school and I made dinner every night or at least most nights from Middle School onward. If I couldnt make dinner my parents found a way to get dinner on the table. We NEVER went out... once a month if we were lucky. We always ate around the table, to talk, check on homework and find out everyones plans and schedules. Even with marching band and all kinds of stuff going on.. dinner was held around the table 99% of the time(unless someone couldnt be home) and to this day Id rather have people over for dinner than go out.

I guess Im lucky because my parents were overly involved and slightly overbearing in my grades. My brother needed special classes and so my parents were forever involved with the school.. and I was in advanced classes so my parents had to go to all kinds of meetings and shit.. or I had to drive accross town for night classes... yuk!!

keyshawn

Bingo. THIS is what really matters. My grade school has deteriorated tremendously over the past few years since i've left - Why: The amount of parent volunteers and involvement has plummeted....

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Derwood

As a parent of a 2 year old (and another on the way in September), I have to say that I really have no interest in home schooling the kids.

- I went to public school my whole life (until Private University/Grad School) and I feel like I had a great education. Luck of location? Perhaps. But I recently moved back to the area I grew up, so my kids will be in that same school system.

- I want my kids to learn things in a different way than I can teach them. I will supplement their lessons of course (as you don't want the school system "raising" your kids)

- I believe that a kid who has multiple teachers throughout their schooling (thus, a multitude of teaching methods and learning environments) better prepares them for college. How well do kids adjust to college when one person has taught them for 12+ years and suddenly they are learning in a different way for the first time?

- Frankly, I'll need the time off during the day. My wife is out of town for work 4 days a week, so if I want to get any shopping/cleaning/work done during the day, I'll count on the time that the kids are at school.

For those who want to homeschool, I say go for it. There are plenty of reasons that it's a good thing, but it's just not for me.

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pattycakes

i dont hav4e kids, and i just got my first place, butt don you have to pay school taxes or something?wouldent that mean they have to let your kid be in school sports if you wanted them to?

way tomany double standards in the us.

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snowy

Yes. The school district is obligated to provide certain services to homeschooled students. That obligation is executed differently in different districts, counties, states and areas of the country. In my father's school district one of his vice-principals serves as the district-wide coordinator for homeschool outreach--she arranges for standardized testing for homeschooled students, after-school sports, participation in classes such as choir, band or drama, etc. Nearly every school district I've encountered has someone who fulfills a similar role regardless of size.

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Phant84

I was completely homeschooled, my mom gave me the option to go to highschool and to finish homeschooling, and i chose the later, finished school at 16 and was making $3000/wk

i would recommend to anyone.

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EULA

Although the money issue would be nice, I really want all that time back. I'm considering staging protests in front of public schools on my days off from pushing carts at kmart.