Blowing your...nose - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

kalashnikov · 05-07-2004, 10:10 PM

This will probably sound pretty stupid, but have you ever noticed the similarities between sneezing and ejaculating? Bear with me here:

When you are going to sneeze, you often realize maybe 5 to 10 seconds ahead of time. You know it is coming, you feel the pressure quickly building, and it actually feels kind of nice. About a second til blast off, it is right around the corner, and you can try to delay it if you are skilled (tantric sneezing?) Then the moment of zen - the audible "ahhhHHHH!" as you inhale, only to ejaculate mucus a fraction of a second later. There is a mess everywhere (unless you were using a kleenex); you catch your breath. Then you think, 'man, that finished pretty quickly.'

Very sexual, isn't it?

Now I shall sleep, wake up in 5 and a half hours, and take my last final exam of this year.

StickODynomite · 05-07-2004, 10:14 PM

Oh yum. finals. ugh. I got some to take yet.

cchris · 05-07-2004, 11:15 PM

There once was a thread titled "Is sneezing 1/10nth of an orgasim".

Never replied properly to it but the description you portray cracks me up.

I have hay fever resulting in a morning sneezing fit (every day)consisting of at least 10 in a row.

Never needed tissues once.

Alas.

440sixpack · 05-08-2004, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kalashnikov
This will probably sound pretty stupid, but have you ever noticed the similarities between sneezing and ejaculating?

Actually yes, I agree completely. I look forward to sneezing for just that reason.

Ace_O_Spades · 05-08-2004, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 440sixpack
Actually yes, I agree completely. I look forward to sneezing for just that reason.

same

i really enjoy sneezing

ChrisJericho · 05-08-2004, 07:13 PM

In both cases you better have some tissue ready.

Polyphobic · 05-08-2004, 07:54 PM

Sneezing is fine. However, if you could combine the two....need I say more?

triad · 05-08-2004, 08:08 PM

Semi-relevant joke:

A two strangers, a man and a woman, are sitting next to each other on a long plane ride. After a while, the man sneezes, whips out his dick, and wipes it off with a tissue. The woman, not beleiving what she just saw stays silent. About ten minuts later the same thing happens: the man sneezes, whipes out his dick, and wipes it off. The woman is both shocked and curious.

Woman: What are you doing?
Man: I have a rare condition, I orgasm every time I sneeze
Woman: Wow, thats incredible. Are you taking anything for it?
Man: Yeah... pepper

frozenstellar · 05-08-2004, 08:51 PM

haha... thats a top joke triad. *thumbs up*

and yes, sneezing rocks. its the same sort of deal with waking up and bending your big toe. the pressure builds up and it feels all tingly, then *CRACK* its all over. ahh, the feeling is just sensational. I'm a big fan of that one too.

imkeen · 05-08-2004, 09:24 PM

I have heard of people (women) who can sneeze/orgasm. I unfortunately don't know any of them, or I'd be armed with ground pepper...for their benefit, if course...

440sixpack · 05-09-2004, 04:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ChrisJericho
In both cases you better have some tissue ready.

I was trying to think of some Kleenex joke since both activities can require them, but I couldn't come up with (so to speak) anything good.

Charlatan · 05-09-2004, 06:45 AM

Cchris points out the one BIG difference for men... Men can have multiple sneezes but not multiple orgasms...

sexymama · 05-09-2004, 07:34 AM

My son had a daycare providor once who told me every time she sneezes she has a mini orgasim. Every time I sneeze since then (14 years) I think, "dam, wish this mad me orgasim."

05-07-2004, 10:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
kalashnikov Insane Location: St. Paul	Blowing your...nose This will probably sound pretty stupid, but have you ever noticed the similarities between sneezing and ejaculating? Bear with me here: When you are going to sneeze, you often realize maybe 5 to 10 seconds ahead of time. You know it is coming, you feel the pressure quickly building, and it actually feels kind of nice. About a second til blast off, it is right around the corner, and you can try to delay it if you are skilled (tantric sneezing?) Then the moment of zen - the audible "ahhhHHHH!" as you inhale, only to ejaculate mucus a fraction of a second later. There is a mess everywhere (unless you were using a kleenex); you catch your breath. Then you think, 'man, that finished pretty quickly.' Very sexual, isn't it? Now I shall sleep, wake up in 5 and a half hours, and take my last final exam of this year. __________________ 'Charmant, respektlos, und immer betrunken.'

05-07-2004, 10:14 PM	#2 (permalink)
StickODynomite Insane Location: Arizona :\|	Oh yum. finals. ugh. I got some to take yet. __________________ "The human mind is like a parachute, it works best when open."

05-07-2004, 11:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	There once was a thread titled "Is sneezing 1/10nth of an orgasim". Never replied properly to it but the description you portray cracks me up. I have hay fever resulting in a morning sneezing fit (every day)consisting of at least 10 in a row. Never needed tissues once. Alas. __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

05-08-2004, 07:13 PM	#6 (permalink)
ChrisJericho eat more fruit Location: Seattle	In both cases you better have some tissue ready. __________________ "A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows us that faith proves nothing." - Friedrich Nietzsche

05-08-2004, 07:54 PM	#7 (permalink)
Polyphobic Runt Location: Denver	Sneezing is fine. However, if you could combine the two....need I say more? __________________ <--The great infidel-->

05-08-2004, 08:08 PM	#8 (permalink)
triad Tilted	Semi-relevant joke: A two strangers, a man and a woman, are sitting next to each other on a long plane ride. After a while, the man sneezes, whips out his dick, and wipes it off with a tissue. The woman, not beleiving what she just saw stays silent. About ten minuts later the same thing happens: the man sneezes, whipes out his dick, and wipes it off. The woman is both shocked and curious. Woman: What are you doing? Man: I have a rare condition, I orgasm every time I sneeze Woman: Wow, thats incredible. Are you taking anything for it? Man: Yeah... pepper

05-08-2004, 08:51 PM	#9 (permalink)
frozenstellar Without Wings Location: Australia	haha... thats a top joke triad. thumbs up and yes, sneezing rocks. its the same sort of deal with waking up and bending your big toe. the pressure builds up and it feels all tingly, then CRACK its all over. ahh, the feeling is just sensational. I'm a big fan of that one too.

05-08-2004, 09:24 PM	#10 (permalink)
imkeen Insane	I have heard of people (women) who can sneeze/orgasm. I unfortunately don't know any of them, or I'd be armed with ground pepper...for their benefit, if course...

05-09-2004, 06:45 AM	#12 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	Cchris points out the one BIG difference for men... Men can have multiple sneezes but not multiple orgasms... __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

05-09-2004, 07:34 AM	#13 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	My son had a daycare providor once who told me every time she sneezes she has a mini orgasim. Every time I sneeze since then (14 years) I think, "dam, wish this mad me orgasim." __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.