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Old 08-26-2003, 10:18 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: LV-426
The Shy and the Exhibitionist.

As of late, I've been thinking a lot about how my wife and I differ in the sack. Or in this case, out of it. We've only been married for around 4 months, so I guess it is early to tell how things will change as time goes by. Mostly what bothers me, is that there are things I've always fancied trying, but she doesn't really seem to share my interest. One of them being fucking out there, in public. We discussed a couple that we know, and how they were caught having sex in one of those booths where you can go try on clothes, at Walmart or somesuch place. My wife is of the opinion that they were nuts, perhaps even pervs, while I think what they did was rather gutsy.

She is always concerned about having the shades closed whenever we walk even half-naked around the house, whereas I don't really care. This one time she was giving me head on the living-room couch at our old apartment, and we'd accidentally left the shades pulled away. Some chick walked by and I noticed her in the corner of my eye, as she slowed down and stared as she passed our apartment. My wife was a little uncomfortable, where as I, being a perv, actually got a huge kick out of it.

I'm not really sure if this is something that should bother me or not, but I guess to a degree it does. Before we got married, our sex life was a lot more...inventive, than it is today. We pretty much stick to the bedroom, with her on top, about 30 minutes, shower, snack. No great surprises. I mean don't get me wrong, it's great sex, but sometimes a little variety hits the spot.

I don't know if I should mention this again or not. We've had conversations about sex before, and I would hate for her to feel like she doesn't satisfy me, which isn't true. I just wish she wasn't so shy.
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Old 08-26-2003, 10:26 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Vordingborg, Denmark
I share your interest for erm .. hm .. showing myself off.
I mean, the thought of getting caught somewhere .. Someone might be peaking ... hm .. don't know how to explain it ..
Its just a bigger rush for me ....

Anyways, my girl doesn't seem to like it either ... I've been with her for 15 months or so .. But i'll just need to get her in that really naughty mood .. heh
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Old 08-27-2003, 01:43 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I am exactly liek your wife where my girlfriend is exactly like you. We've been together for three years and so far, I have gotten use to her things. I find myself changing my ways and I see her doing the same so that we meet in the middle. It took a lot of communication but in the end, it worked out for both of us.
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Old 08-27-2003, 06:23 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Obviously, you will never get her to do something that she truly does not want to do. However, if she is simply nervous, there are probably ways to help her along.

I think the best thing would be to try to bring this up while on an out-of-town vacation, where she can feel comfortable that no one she knows will see her. Perhaps get a hotel room at least 10 floors up, where you could leave the window open and she can get used to an open window during sex. Also, try this subsection of Literotica, which is the top-rated exhibitionist & voyeur stories. Perhaps you could read some to her while in bed or driving, or have her read them; this could help "break the ice" on the discussion.

Good luck.
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Old 08-27-2003, 07:28 AM   #5 (permalink)
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redlemon is wise.

Especially the part about not doing something she really doesn't want to do. I've even had people under hypnotic influence, pretty deeply, that have resisted the suggestion I was making because they just didn't want to do it.

Out of town is always a good place to bring this up, especially out of state; you're never going to see any of these people again. OR, on the other hand, it might be that she's worried about complete strangers seeing her, and would be more comfortable if it were friends peeping. Talk to her about it in as comfortable a setting as you can, and find out exactly what she feels is strange or wrong about it. There's probably a way not to involve that particular aspect and still have fun.
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Old 08-27-2003, 12:10 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Thraeryn
redlemon is wise.
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Old 08-27-2003, 12:18 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Bored in Sacramento
I have to second the Redlemon is wise thing.

I think I'm going to try that.

I don't know what the turn on about doing it outside is, but there is one.
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Old 08-27-2003, 01:38 PM   #8 (permalink)
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My wife was very repressed starting out (catholic virgin). It has just taken lots of work to show her how exciting variety can be. More than half of our new ideas come from her. We do the public thing on occasion, but we talk about it more than we do. It does add an element of intensity for sure. The key is communication and letting her know you really care for her. A woman that completely trusts you will be a lot more amenable to fun suggestions.
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Old 08-27-2003, 04:46 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: Jersey
I'm more the exibitionist, whereas my husband is more conservative--yet, we did have that night in Amsterdam in the live sex show. I am never left without being satisfied or having variety.

Maybe during sex, talk about the things that turn you on and maybe it will get her thinking. And even though she may not actually do anything, it will liven up your sex life.
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Old 08-27-2003, 05:46 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: Oregon
Im in the same boat... my wife barely wants to give me head... I am alot more adventurous than she. She loves toi have sex and we have good sex, it just lacks variety. Luckily she likes it often.
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Old 08-27-2003, 05:51 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Location: The Great Northwest
Ahhhh . . . the outdoors!

See my guys are always the shy ones. I have a thing for playgrounds (late at night of course, when all the kids should be in bed), something about slides, swings, and the merry go round.

I always fantasize about being outdoors or doing something in public. Like a pool at a hotel or in an elevator. For me it adds a certain rush to the experience, that I sooo love!

But I do sympathize with Prince's wife I think I would be eternally embarrased if someone I actually knew caught me in something like that! Another thing to ponder is~ is she self conscience about her body? That might be something preventing her.

Thankfully I have found someone who's slowly getting into the same likes as I.
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Old 09-03-2003, 05:32 AM   #12 (permalink)
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The wife and I have been married for over 20 years now. My advice? Take your time! My wife was very selfconcious and I was very possessive/jealous when we first got married. Over time though, and being VERY COMMUNICATIVE, we've enjoyed exploring new things over the years. For 15 years or so, I tried convincing her on a threeway. She ALWAYS resisted. Over the past year or so, we've had a couple of threeways with a former neighbor of ours (male). You really have to be patient.

The wife also likes to go out on the road and flash for truckers. She NEVER would have done this before. We talked about it, she tried it, and found she liked it immensely! I would suggest to her something safer than a dressing room in a mall. How about out in the woods? Or maybe at the beach in a secluded area? Try to compromise and above all, COMMUNICATE! Good luck.
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Old 09-03-2003, 01:41 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Location: Midwest
i will show my member at all times in the public!

not many coaxings before i will admire it in my hand in a parking lot or shopping duplex.

sex in the parking lot is number one! is also good place for wanking!
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Old 09-04-2003, 01:19 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Location: Wellington, New Zealand
Re: The Shy and the Exhibitionist.

Quote:
Originally posted by Prince

I don't know if I should mention this again or not. We've had conversations about sex before, and I would hate for her to feel like she doesn't satisfy me, which isn't true. I just wish she wasn't so shy.
Seconding the redlemon is wise.

Something to think about: you're planning, I assume, on being a long time married. There's a disadvantage and an advantage. The disadvantage is that if you don't work on keeping things interesting, it's a long time to be unhappy or an expensive round of divorce.

The advantage is you have time. You don't necessarily need to have everything perfect tomorrow. You're committed to each other, so you can work on it.
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Old 09-04-2003, 02:28 AM   #15 (permalink)
Dnz
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Quote:
Originally posted by air45
i will show my member at all times in the public!

not many coaxings before i will admire it in my hand in a parking lot or shopping duplex.

sex in the parking lot is number one! is also good place for wanking!
Yes, one day you can be just like air45.. hahah Is that good or bad tho? hmm
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