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Old 04-07-2007, 12:48 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Women crying after sex

I could have sworn there was already a thread on this here, but I have searched every way I know how and cant find it (even manually went back two years worth of posts in sexuality and the ladies lounge) so if I missed it Im sorry.

ok....so Dave and I had not have sex in about 7 weeks, since before he left for Israel. We tried once right after my rib was broken and it hurt so bad we couldnt really finish so I dont count that and between that and the infected boob and the pulled tooth and then he got sick and I got a yeast infection from all the anti b's I was on....no sex (I HATED having to send him off for two weeks in San Diego but it couldnt be helped)

So....no orgasm for me the entire 7 weeks (I think he masturbated once while in SD....neither of us are big into that particular activity...we much prefer our O's from sex lol.

Yesterday the man walks in the door form the airport with a hard on hehehe poor thing. So after receiving his present of a bottle of Crown XR (which he was THRILLED with) and his flowers and a card... I give him a bj (we were saving sex for later as we knew I'd be sore as hell afterwards and I wanted to be able to cook him dinner and I knew he'd have no problem being ready to go again hehehe)

So after dinner we make the bedroom all romantic, start up Enya on the mp3 player as get down to business.

(this is the part that pisses me off lol) Sparing the details, I will just say I'm on top, have 3 O's and immediately after the 3rd one I start to weep

not cry, heavy uncontrollable weeping

for like 20 minutes....I couldnt stop, I couldnt even talk and tell him nothing was wrong....but he knew it....I'd done it once before....on our first date (great impression Im sure that made lol)

he explained it away saying he wasnt surprised because it had been so long, and we've been apart so much blah blah blah

but I still feel like a girl

this ever happen to anyone else and if so did you feel as dumb and girly and embarressed as I did?

Guys, have any of your women ever did this and if so how did it make you feel? Dave keeps telling me its ok and he understands and it actually makes him feel all that much more loved. I'm sure its a reaction explained away by hormones and emotions...but I still feel.....well...stupid
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Last edited by ShaniFaye; 04-07-2007 at 12:51 PM..
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Old 04-07-2007, 01:11 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I'd be pretty freaked out, thinking it was something i did, but it sounds like you two have a great relationship, it was probably all the emotions over the last 7 weeks pouring out.

*hug*
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Old 04-07-2007, 01:17 PM   #3 (permalink)
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yeah maybe I should have pointed that out since we have so many new people that have no idea how great our relationship is lol

yes our relationship is the best....no problems anywhere about anything at any time (over 3 1/2 years and still never an argument or a fight) and our sex life (well before what I call the Israel Incident) is fantastic. I've had sex with a lot of men in my life and NONE of them compare to what Dave and I have (even without the BDSM) I think thats part of why I feel so stupid....me, who is usually so in control and on top of things (no pun related to my position of choice when I started crying intended lol) just completely and totally uncontrollably LOST IT

Im glad he knows me so well so that he DIDNT freak out about it
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Old 04-07-2007, 02:09 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I've had this happen a few times both with the same woman. The first time it really freaked me out. I just stopped, pulled her close, and was like are you okay? Was it something I did?

In all cases its after some really intense love making, we were the bestest of friends before being lovers (granted we still are) maybe that emotional connection has something to do with it? She's never done it with anyone else and i've never experienced it with anyone else so it's a new thing for both of us. Even now I feel wierd when it does happen even tho they're tears of joy as she puts it it's just so against the norm (and my gut) to keep going.

She thinks its a combination of things and could be hormonal. I will say while our sex is great on these occasions it's exceptional and even I get a really strong vibe it's something more kind of deal.
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Old 04-07-2007, 02:23 PM   #5 (permalink)
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It's happened to me. Kinda freaked me out too. She was being emotional about something other than the sex though.

Or it could be that i just really really suck in bed and she didn't want to tell me.
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Old 04-07-2007, 02:53 PM   #6 (permalink)
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That's occurred to me, or rather with girls/women that I've been with. Not often. Probably 2-4 times I think. Although it wasn't heavy crying.

I guess - while it scares me a little, it seems ok also. The way I figure it, women have some different emotions and emotional responses to guys. Plus there are some fairly complex things going on emotionally with sex also. Stuff that's hard to fit or to reconcile with day-to-day personalities ideals and roles. That's my take on it.

It's scary initially, until I figure that it's not something I did. But if it's not my fault - it doesn't bother me. We can just cuddle until it passes. No prob.

So I wouldn't worry too much. After all, he's probably having sex with you because of your girly properties. So there's no need to be ashamed of being somewhat different.
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Old 04-07-2007, 03:17 PM   #7 (permalink)
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If it had hapened to me, I think once I got over being worried that my girl was OK, I'd have been privately proud that I had managed to be so good in bed.

Knowing that you and Dave had the same thing happen on your first date helps too.

Good luck, babe.

X
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Old 04-07-2007, 03:20 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I had this one girl start crying 'cause she had just broken up with her boyfriend about two hours before hand...

So I laid there while she told me all about him and why they broke up. Worst night of my life.
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Old 04-07-2007, 04:35 PM   #9 (permalink)
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orgasms can be very emotional. there are various psychological/physiological reasons why it can be triggered, but basically it boils down to the orgasm just overwhelming you- could be a good overwhelming, or bad... but yeah, it's not unreasonable... especially if you've gone without for a while and then suddenly get a good night of lovin'. hehe
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Old 04-07-2007, 05:33 PM   #10 (permalink)
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It's happened to me a few times. For me it always happens after we haven't been able to have sex for a while for one reason or another and then we will have GREAT sex and I'll cry. I do feel stupid and sometimes chuckle while crying. Mostly the chuckle is to let Alpha know I am fine. Happy tears. I think the first time it happened it did scare him a bit.
I have looked up the cause before and it is something we cannot control.
Doesn't always have to be happy tears though, I know a couple of times I was just very highly stressed about other things and it was so great an orgasm release that it helped me release the other tension too. It's hard not to feel silly when it's something we can't control, but I try not to.


http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...after_sex.html
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Old 04-07-2007, 08:49 PM   #11 (permalink)
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It's happened to me twice. First time, I think it was just the release of having a really great couple of orgasms; crying is basically just a release/meltdown and if it was truly fantastic(specially after 7 weeks), that could be all it was. Second time wouldn't apply here-that was more of a 'shit, this is not what I want anymore' after-effect.
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Old 04-08-2007, 12:50 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Having thought about this, I wonder if it's an oxytocin comedown.
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Old 04-08-2007, 05:45 AM   #13 (permalink)
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lol I had to look that one up, I thought you were saying I was on drugs hehehe

fortunately it didnt happen any of the rest of the times we've had sex since, so Im sure it must be all of the things combined Dave said.....still made me feel very vulnerable but I guess if Im going to feel that way, Dave is the perfect person to feel like that with.

hmmm I never ever did that with anyone else, not even my ex husband

sad thing is, he leaves again tomorrow, so I will again be going without for weeks

thanks for all your responses, Im looking forward too more
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Old 04-08-2007, 06:41 AM   #14 (permalink)
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It happened here this morning. It was kind of a surprise to me until I remembered this thread...
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Old 04-08-2007, 07:24 AM   #15 (permalink)
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It's happened to me more than once....the crying never lasts long and at first it weirded me out and bothered my boyfriend. Now I know it happens when it's really good sex.
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Old 04-08-2007, 09:52 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Never had such expriences from my girl. I may just leave the room.And come back later. I'll be confused.
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Old 04-08-2007, 06:13 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I've cried during sex twice. The first time was because it was just so ... disappointing. And painful. This second time, though, was because it was just that good. This is one of those issues where you have to check in with your partner and find out why she's crying! (Unfortunately in that first instance, he rolled right over and went to sleep. Not a great idea.)
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Old 04-08-2007, 06:46 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I have had that happen to me quite a few times. When the sex is very intense is when it most commonly occurs. When I do it, I am not upset at all. I can't explain it really. You just have this strong need to start balling for no reason at all. I was embarassed when it did happen though because my boyfriend was freaking out thinking he hurt me or something. It really had nothing to do with emotions though, I just needed to wail for a few minutes. It must be connected in some way to an orgasm.
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Old 04-09-2007, 04:02 AM   #19 (permalink)
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I've had it happen a few times, for different reasons. Sometimes because I'm so happy, sometimes because I'm sad, sometimes because I'm going away and I'll miss ratbastid...regardless of the reason, it seems to happen when there's some emotion bubbling below the surface and the orgasm and the intimacy just bursts the dam and it comes pouring out.
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Old 04-09-2007, 08:45 AM   #20 (permalink)
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I find that it happens more when I'm heavily stressed and have gone without for awhile. My body just takes the opportunity to purge all the tension and then I can fall asleep and leave it all behind.

It seriously freaked my fiance out the first time, but since then (maybe half a dozen times in 5 years) he knows that it just means I had a really good orgasm and he's quite well aware that my life is fairly stressful. His just holding me helps a lot.
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Old 04-09-2007, 09:36 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Yes. The girl had been raped before and didn't tell me before we tried to have sex. I still didn't find out why until a week later. The whole time I thought I had done something wrong.
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Old 04-09-2007, 10:43 AM   #22 (permalink)
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A friend of mine says she once burst into tears in the middle of a Yoga class. I guess it's a similar case of physical release of pent up tensions and emotions.

I suppose in the end it's healthy.
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Old 04-13-2007, 07:56 AM   #23 (permalink)
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I have weathered the storm of tears on three different occasions through the years. Three different women were involved...one was Japanese, one was Mexican; the other was Welsh.

For all three unforgetably delightful ladies, the flood of tears was triggered by the fact that they had experianced a series of multiple orgasms.

Last edited by NAGAII; 04-13-2007 at 08:02 AM.. Reason: To correct a misspelled word.
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Old 04-13-2007, 08:40 AM   #24 (permalink)
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I have heard that with "emotional releases" like this, you should feel honored that the person was comfortable enough with you to let their guard down far enough to have that release.
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