first time - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

aa1037 · 08-21-2006, 06:11 PM

I've been in a pretty healthy relationship with this girl for a while and we've done thing as far as mutual masterbation and, while I haven't pushed her to do anything, I feel like we're going to cross that bridge soon and have sex.

However, it would be my first time (I'm 20), and I haven't asked her of her past experience (she had a boyfriend of almost 5 years, 4 of which before she was even 18). It doesn't matter to me if she is a virgin or not, but I am having a hard time getting over the hump, so to speak. What I mean is, I'm not sure what is an appropriate way to initiate us going further. While we're gettin heavy, I was thinking of saying something like "what would you like me to do?". I know some would suggest to just whip out a condom, show her, and not say a word, but I'm not sure I'd go for that.

Anyway, any suggestions on how you initiated your first time with someone who is showing the signs that they want to, but haven't made the moves towards you?

Carno · 08-21-2006, 06:16 PM

Start taking off her clothes. If she doesn't want you to, you'll know.

Of course, it's always nice to talk about things first, to make sure you're both on the same page.

Sultana · 08-22-2006, 05:42 AM

How about instead of asking her (which is a nice thought, but rather passive--at least for me), while you're both a bit hot and bothered, whispering in her ear what you want to do to her?

Start out slow and gentle, but still strong enough for her to be clear on the direction you're interested in, but not pressuring her if she's not yet ready.

If she's receptive, get more and more explicit. Mmm, this can be so hot, the verbal fore-play....

However, actually, you should probably do some talking first, be clear on umm, medical history and what-not first. You *Really* don't want to have that talk afterwards.

Impetuous1 · 08-22-2006, 06:16 AM

What Sultana said.

Verbal fore-play is so hot.

aa1037 · 08-22-2006, 07:23 AM

Seems like a good suggestion Sultana, thanks.

Sultana · 08-22-2006, 12:02 PM

Alrighty then, I want an update on how it goes.

Deltona Couple · 08-22-2006, 01:15 PM

OK....First invite her over for dinner, then when she arrives, take her into the bedroom where you have flowers, candles, and lots of romantic things around. Also dont forget the 50 pack box of flavored condoms, 2 bottles of lube, and the midget porn playing on the TV...lol

On a serious note, some women do get turned on by the idea of you just wispering into their ear what you would like to do to them. Be honest, that's my best advice!
Good Luck!

SAM821 · 08-22-2006, 04:24 PM

In all honesty, I think your biggest results will happen by going down on her first, warm her up to the point that she will be receptive to ANYTHING. its always worked for me.

Ive always been good at first giving a nice full body massage (clothes are already off) and then after doing the back side first, flip her over and do the front, and while you are there, slowly work your way up to her pussy. Once you are there its open game... eat that chocha up!!! (romantically of course) there is a very good cunnilingus thread on here if you havent gone that route yet.

After all of this, I wouldnt see any problem with you being able to slide it in, do you?

Tell us how it goes!!

BigTruck1956 · 08-24-2006, 04:47 PM

SAM821 has the ticket here. I would say at least half of the women I have been with that i wasn't in a serious realtionship with I have just gone down until they were literally begging for sex. I makes it easy to avoid an awkward situation of you dont feel comfortable straight out asking and if shes asking for it then you know you're both on the same page. good luck.

savvypup · 08-26-2006, 12:55 AM

I don't know about attempting to go down on her is the best choice if you don't know if she's a virgin or not. Only because this can be quite daunting for the first time and I assume you haven't done this before either.

I think the whispering in her ear asking her what she likes and what you'd like to do to parts of her body whilst slowing kissing and caressing her body as you undress her is a good start.

Silvy · 08-26-2006, 04:33 AM

I have nothing specific to add to the above suggestions, but I would like to give a general tip:
Whatever advice you read here (or anywhere) that you like, and would like to try: within a relationship always do things like you always do. Don't think to much about the specific text of the advice. Don't be bolder than usual and don't be more timid than previously. Just pick an approach and go with the flow.
The worst turnoff is when you appear to be running through a step by step plan (esp. if it appears to come from someone else). Remember: she wants to be with you as you are, not with you as a summary of TFP-advice

, although the advice can help you get over your "hump". (real bad choice of word here

)

Anyhow: congratulations on finding someone you care enough about and are comfortable with for taking the next step!

Toaster126 · 08-26-2006, 08:11 AM

Make sure to have whatever talking you need to do BEFORE the heavy petting and whatnot.

aa1037 · 08-30-2006, 09:55 PM

Thanks everyone for the great advice. I think I like the idea of going with the flow more than anything else. I couldn't imagine something worse than seeming like I'm following a how-to guide. I don't feel like I need something like that anyway! I think at some point, she will make the indication to me...or I will just open up to her when I feel the time is right.

08-21-2006, 06:11 PM	#1 (permalink)
aa1037 Insane Location: New York	first time I've been in a pretty healthy relationship with this girl for a while and we've done thing as far as mutual masterbation and, while I haven't pushed her to do anything, I feel like we're going to cross that bridge soon and have sex. However, it would be my first time (I'm 20), and I haven't asked her of her past experience (she had a boyfriend of almost 5 years, 4 of which before she was even 18). It doesn't matter to me if she is a virgin or not, but I am having a hard time getting over the hump, so to speak. What I mean is, I'm not sure what is an appropriate way to initiate us going further. While we're gettin heavy, I was thinking of saying something like "what would you like me to do?". I know some would suggest to just whip out a condom, show her, and not say a word, but I'm not sure I'd go for that. Anyway, any suggestions on how you initiated your first time with someone who is showing the signs that they want to, but haven't made the moves towards you?

08-21-2006, 06:16 PM	#2 (permalink)
Carno Junkie	Start taking off her clothes. If she doesn't want you to, you'll know. Of course, it's always nice to talk about things first, to make sure you're both on the same page. __________________ http://how-to-spell-ridiculous.com/

08-22-2006, 05:42 AM	#3 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	How about instead of asking her (which is a nice thought, but rather passive--at least for me), while you're both a bit hot and bothered, whispering in her ear what you want to do to her? Start out slow and gentle, but still strong enough for her to be clear on the direction you're interested in, but not pressuring her if she's not yet ready. If she's receptive, get more and more explicit. Mmm, this can be so hot, the verbal fore-play.... However, actually, you should probably do some talking first, be clear on umm, medical history and what-not first. You Really don't want to have that talk afterwards. __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

08-22-2006, 12:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	Alrighty then, I want an update on how it goes. __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

08-24-2006, 04:47 PM	#9 (permalink)
BigTruck1956 Psycho Location: norcal	SAM821 has the ticket here. I would say at least half of the women I have been with that i wasn't in a serious realtionship with I have just gone down until they were literally begging for sex. I makes it easy to avoid an awkward situation of you dont feel comfortable straight out asking and if shes asking for it then you know you're both on the same page. good luck. __________________ so much to do, so little time.....at least i aint bored.

08-22-2006, 06:16 AM	#4 (permalink)
Impetuous1 Insane Location: Arizona	What Sultana said. Verbal fore-play is so hot.

08-22-2006, 07:23 AM	#5 (permalink)
aa1037 Insane Location: New York	Seems like a good suggestion Sultana, thanks.

08-22-2006, 01:15 PM	#7 (permalink)
Deltona Couple Addict Location: Spring, Texas	OK....First invite her over for dinner, then when she arrives, take her into the bedroom where you have flowers, candles, and lots of romantic things around. Also dont forget the 50 pack box of flavored condoms, 2 bottles of lube, and the midget porn playing on the TV...lol On a serious note, some women do get turned on by the idea of you just wispering into their ear what you would like to do to them. Be honest, that's my best advice! Good Luck!

08-22-2006, 04:24 PM	#8 (permalink)
SAM821 Surviving Hurricanes Location: Miami, Florida	In all honesty, I think your biggest results will happen by going down on her first, warm her up to the point that she will be receptive to ANYTHING. its always worked for me. Ive always been good at first giving a nice full body massage (clothes are already off) and then after doing the back side first, flip her over and do the front, and while you are there, slowly work your way up to her pussy. Once you are there its open game... eat that chocha up!!! (romantically of course) there is a very good cunnilingus thread on here if you havent gone that route yet. After all of this, I wouldnt see any problem with you being able to slide it in, do you? Tell us how it goes!!

08-26-2006, 12:55 AM	#10 (permalink)
savvypup Crazy Location: Want to run away? Follow the light	I don't know about attempting to go down on her is the best choice if you don't know if she's a virgin or not. Only because this can be quite daunting for the first time and I assume you haven't done this before either. I think the whispering in her ear asking her what she likes and what you'd like to do to parts of her body whilst slowing kissing and caressing her body as you undress her is a good start. __________________ ciao bella!

08-26-2006, 04:33 AM	#11 (permalink)
Silvy paranoid Location: The Netherlands	I have nothing specific to add to the above suggestions, but I would like to give a general tip: Whatever advice you read here (or anywhere) that you like, and would like to try: within a relationship always do things like you always do. Don't think to much about the specific text of the advice. Don't be bolder than usual and don't be more timid than previously. Just pick an approach and go with the flow. The worst turnoff is when you appear to be running through a step by step plan (esp. if it appears to come from someone else). Remember: she wants to be with you as you are, not with you as a summary of TFP-advice , although the advice can help you get over your "hump". (real bad choice of word here ) Anyhow: congratulations on finding someone you care enough about and are comfortable with for taking the next step! __________________ "Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace. " - Murphy MacManus (Boondock Saints)

08-26-2006, 08:11 AM	#12 (permalink)
Toaster126 Extreme moderation Location: Kansas City, yo.	Make sure to have whatever talking you need to do BEFORE the heavy petting and whatnot. __________________ "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand) "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

08-30-2006, 09:55 PM	#13 (permalink)
aa1037 Insane Location: New York	Thanks everyone for the great advice. I think I like the idea of going with the flow more than anything else. I couldn't imagine something worse than seeming like I'm following a how-to guide. I don't feel like I need something like that anyway! I think at some point, she will make the indication to me...or I will just open up to her when I feel the time is right.