losthellhound

- Needed : Several brave souls -

Darkened Skies has reached a milestone.. 5000 words (well actually its 5019)..

What I need are several people to read through what I have, and make suggestions.

- Are the characters realistic
- Is the description good
- Is the feel... cliched? or creative?
- Is the basic idea of the story and the setting understandable?
- If you picked up this in a book store and read what is here, would you want to read it enough to buy a copy?

I dont have a website currently to put the file, and I didnt want to put 5000 words here on tfproject (if no one wants to read it, why take up the bandwidth and HD space) I can email it, or if there are enough people, and I wont get lynched for it, I'll post it here..


" fill my lungs with fear, then exhale.. It's my turn to fly"

__________________
"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?"
-- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death

emmdubbs

email it to me...i'll read it, and make a page for it (i have the space and bandwidth) enigma@marksmail.com

__________________
"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." - Tyler Durden

losthellhound

Thanks. Its on its way

__________________
"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?"
-- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death

vonstalhein

Yeah, and me. I'd like you to e-mail to me please. Vonstalhein@hotmail.com

__________________
No Win No Fee

emmdubbs

actually so i don't delete it from my mailbox.. send it to enigma-web@marksmail.com

__________________
"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." - Tyler Durden

SSJwrestler

ill read it

SSJwrestler

i really enjoy your work so far

losthellhound

Thank you, I enjoy the support you guys and girls have given me

__________________
"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?"
-- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death

numist

losthellhound - if you want a place to host it, I can give you a few megs of server space, just PM me and I'll set you up.

SSJwrestler

im readin it, not ocmpletely done yet, but so far....SICK! in the good way

losthellhound

I want to hear all your thoughts.. May as well, what you say will prompt others in to wanting to read it

__________________
"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?"
-- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death

seretogis

I sent you a PM about this.

__________________
seretogis - sieg heil
perfect little dream the kind that hurts the most, forgot how it feels well almost
no one to blame always the same, open my eyes wake up in flames

losthellhound

I saw, thank you.. Just have to get back to the office for the file

__________________
"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?"
-- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death

Minx

I would be interested in reading more of your story.
Please pm me and I will pass along my private email, if you wish.

__________________
You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

losthellhound

Note to anyone who has received the file.. can you forward it back to my email address (either loki@golden.net or the original email I emailed it to?) Im not going into the office today and I dont have the file here at home

__________________
"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?"
-- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death

losthellhound

I was wondering if anyone has finished adn has something to say.. comments are very good, I like comments, I like suggestions, I even like criticism if its not about my choice of font

__________________
"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?"
-- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death

Minx

I have read it through once so far and I am really enjoying it so far. It has a little air of mystery that makes me want more and I do like the way you describe your characters. I want to read it again before I offer up any real comments, though.
So far....good work losthellhound.

__________________
You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

losthellhound

Thank you. I look forward to more feedback as well. I haven't had much of a chance to write alot more (just switched from night shift to morning shift and its been killing my energy level)

Thanks again

__________________
"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?"
-- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death

vonstalhein

you haven't emailed me it! If you have, i apologise, i haven't got it!

__________________
No Win No Fee

numist

so you work on it at work? what are you paid for?

still willing to host, btw, since you cant ftp, send it to scperry(at)ucsd.edu, and I will host.

SSJwrestler

must say man, just finished and its great...loved the detail, loved the diction, great story line...keep it up

losthellhound

Thank you.. I've got moreplanned, just have to force myself back to the keyboard

__________________
"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?"
-- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death