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#1 (permalink) |
Kick Ass Kunoichi
Location: Oregon
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Thank You Notes
So the wedding gifts are starting to come in, and so thank you cards must be started too, but I have a slight problem. Handwriting is not my strong suit. I have a cyst attached to the ulnar nerve of my left hand, and I am left-handed. My hand gets tired out very easily. Every etiquette site/book says that these thank you notes MUST be hand-written. This seems silly to me, and behind the times. My penmanship is not the greatest, and it gets worse the more I write. If I have to hand-write these things, they will be very short and sweet to conserve my hand.
What do you think? I'm prepared to hand-write these things if I have to, but I'd rather save my hand if I don't. Would you be offended if someone sent you a thank you card that had the personal message printed instead of hand-written? I'm certainly not suggesting that I am not going to write a personal message; I am merely suggesting that it will be typed instead of hand-written. Grr, etiquette.
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau Last edited by snowy; 07-19-2010 at 01:44 PM.. Reason: ack, typo |
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#2 (permalink) | |
Une petite chou
Location: With All Your Base
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Someone would really care if the personalized note was typed vs handwritten?!
That sounds a little picky to me. I'd sign your and E's names and type the rest. Pfft.
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Here's how life works: you either get to ask for an apology or you get to shoot people. Not both. House Quote:
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#4 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: My head.
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You wanna know why southern women don't get into orgies? 'Cause of all the thank you notes they have to send out afterwards ...
**badump bump** /Genius IQ The only thing I can say is, get one of your friends who has good handwriting and hadn't gotten you any presents then guilt them to writing the cards. You can make the cards and sign all of them just dictate the messages individually. Or you can print. I wouldn't be offended. Or you can just write them yourself. So you handwriting is bad ... so what? You put the effort into thanking the person for the gift. It's the thought that counts and besides, they're gonna throw it away anyway so I have no idea why your fretting over your penmanship. |
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#7 (permalink) |
warrior bodhisattva
Super Moderator
Location: East-central Canada
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Custom video thank-yous.
Handwritten notes for the luddites.
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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot |
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#9 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: LI,NY
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I don't see anything wrong with typing/printing the thank you notes. Especially since you said you were going to type a personal message. You will save yourself a lot of aggravation, time and pain.
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"Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras |
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#12 (permalink) |
Life's short, gotta hurry...
Location: land of pit vipers
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I'm southern, and the rest of you seem to think that "our" way of thinking is archaic. If I took the time to shop, select a gift and spend money on this gift and then received a computer printed thank you note in return I would be pissed. It's all about etiquette which still exists in some areas of society. I appreciate niceties.
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Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool. |
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#13 (permalink) |
Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
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printed stickers....
okay that's gauche. :P if you can print the cards, that's great. Just make sure that it's a bit personal so that it doesn't look like you churned them out.
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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. |
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#15 (permalink) |
Submit to me, you know you want to
Location: Lilburn, Ga
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My handwriting is as bad as it gets, the arthritis makes it worse, if Dave's handwriting were any better I'd have done what Redlemon suggested, but alas it isnt so I suffered thru both the shower and wedding gifts. I only did a few a day until they were all done, then mailed them all out at the same time. Trust me...there will be people that will say, until the day they die, " I sent her such a nice gift and she sent a printed card!!"
eh, maybe its just a southern thing. I can't say I'm any better than an old biddy lol I got a wedding invitation recently that had the registry information included and I about had a stroke lol
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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!! |
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#16 (permalink) | |
Kick Ass Kunoichi
Location: Oregon
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Quote:
My dad had a good suggestion: handwrite the cards for people who are expecting a handwritten card, and print off the rest. And yes, Shani, for the gifts that are trickling in, I am planning on writing my thank yous as soon as possible to be able to space them out.
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau |
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#18 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: Greater Harrisburg Area
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I know most everyone is saying it's no big deal, but it still is correct etiquette to hand write them. I would say it's most important for folks of previous generations and those who really put in a lot of effort (long distance travelers, bridal party). If you print cards, expect someone to be offended by it - even if they're not the one who got the printed cards (weddings have a way of bringing out both the best and worst in a family).
I would say take the time to hand write them and only do a few per day; 2-3. Get that husband of yours to help, poor handwriting is better than printed.
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The advantage law is the best law in rugby, because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game. |
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#19 (permalink) |
Devoted
Donor
Location: New England
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As long as it is legible, I think it would still be OK. I don't think that even our Southern Etiquette masters would insist on calligraphy in a thank-you note. And I suspect people would appreciate the novelty of receiving a thank-you from the male half of the marriage. (Yes, I wrote many of the thank-yous from our wedding.)
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I can't read your signature. Sorry. |
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#20 (permalink) |
Life's short, gotta hurry...
Location: land of pit vipers
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Red wrote the thank you notes to his friends and family, and I wrote the thank you notes to my friends and family. His handwriting is crap, but it didn't matter. It's that personal touch.
Interesting......
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Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool. |
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#21 (permalink) |
Drifting
Administrator
Location: Windy City
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Or... there's a third option!
Hand writing for Hire! I'm serious, haha.. I offered earlier when I thought I might be in the area to handwrite thank you notes, how do they know its not your handwriting? Hit me up ![]()
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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna |
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#22 (permalink) |
Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
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Fourth option. Make a font of your handwriting! No one will ever know!
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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. |
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#23 (permalink) |
Kick Ass Kunoichi
Location: Oregon
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Hahaha, that would be so sneaky, Cyn!
And monkie, I will probably hit you up when the note-writing becomes a deluge. My bridal shower is tonight, so all the card writing is REALLY about to begin.
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau |
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#24 (permalink) |
Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
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no really. it's not all that expensive.
Personal Signature Fonts & Handwriting fonts Make Your Own Handwriting Fonts
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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. |
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#25 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: Tennessee
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Do many people recognize your handwriting? If not maybe you could get a friend or somebody to write them for you. Perhaps you go to a print shop or make some nice cards on your computer that you could send out, each one personalized. I agree that etiquette can be important but so is the thought you put into it maybe people will appreciate the effort in making the cards and they just wont care if its hand written or not.
Personally I wouldn't care one way or another, nor would I really expect a thank you card to begin with. Give somebody a gift and then expect something in return, how rude is that?
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“My god I must have missed it...its hell down here!”
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#26 (permalink) |
Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It!
Location: Southern England
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In England, we would generally print a letter, but hand write in the salutation and the signature, but the letter would be specific to the recipient.
We'd put registry info in with the invite too!
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#27 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: Greater Harrisburg Area
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To be clear, proper etiquette would be to write a note for every present you've ever received, on every occasion. That is what the etiquette books have in them, at least. It's a very clear gesture, that requires actual effort on your part.
Now, I will be the first to admit that the rules of etiquette are mostly outdated and almost entirely arbitrary. Which, I think, is why there are so many "WTF" responses in this thread. Most of the time, you can ignore proper etiquette and nobody really cares. Weddings are a big exception to this rule. People expect everything to be perfect, possibly related to the high emotions of this time. Any slight miscue can result in very hurt feelings, so I find it best to make sure you err on the side of caution. I seriously doubt many people would care about the notes not being hand written, but I can name at least 5 people in my family would care a great deal.
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The advantage law is the best law in rugby, because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game. |
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#28 (permalink) |
Done freeloading here
Location: on my ass :) - Norway
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One vote for personalized font.
![]() (It was a quick and dirty test when it was free to create fonts. Later, when I decided to create a better one - it was no longer free...) To make everybody happy: You write a few to the persons closest to you who would expect a handwritten card. He does the same. Then create a font and print the rest. (Or hire amkonkey to write the cards while you phone them to please everyone ![]()
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The future ain't what it used to be. |
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#29 (permalink) |
Submit to me, you know you want to
Location: Lilburn, Ga
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Daniel....that is a HUGE no no Registry info only goes in the bridal shower invite
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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!! |
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#30 (permalink) | |
Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
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Quote:
How does a person who lives across the continent/ocean get the information if they aren't invited to the bridal shower?
__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. |
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#31 (permalink) |
Submit to me, you know you want to
Location: Lilburn, Ga
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its done by word of mouth, or these days most couples have a wedding website set up somewhere and the information is on there.
besides most of the single guys I know just give cash so they dont have to shop lol
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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!! |
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#32 (permalink) |
Life's short, gotta hurry...
Location: land of pit vipers
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When Red's nephew got married last summer I called Red's mother to find out if and where they were registered. We attended the wedding, took a gift and have yet to receive any thank-you note at all. I can't bring it up because it's kind of a touchy subject.
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Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool. |
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#33 (permalink) |
My future is coming on
Moderator Emeritus
Location: east of the sun and west of the moon
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If you're looking for an etiquette answer, there's no way around having them handwritten.
Even bad handwriting is better than having it printed - no matter how personal you make the message, it's still going to come off as detached and mechanical. As long as they can read "thank you" the rest is gravy. Have your husband write them, and both of you sign them.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France |
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