girldetective

The Tpop fiasco has me wondering how many people one should date at the same time. When I began this whole dating-love mess I wasnt sure so I asked the love guru who said that it was kosher to date as many people at one time as one liked, but once you became intimate with one of them it is probably best to stick with that one and decline dates from others. I thought this made sense, and this is how I have conducted myself. I also thought that I had learned an unspoken rule of society, that is until someone mentioned that it was "my rule", not necessarily someone else's rule.

Im going to stick with "my rule" as it still makes sense to me, but Im curious what others' rules are or if you even have a code you live by in this regard.

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As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

Seaver

Early in a relationship you dictate the rules. At the beginning, they have full right to leave the relationship at a moments notice, and so do you. You really don't owe anything to each other, so you can make the rules. After it starts getting intimate... then the "standard" rules begin to apply unless otherwise stipulated.

So you, and your friend, are both right.

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"Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas

genuinegirly

My rule:

Go with your gut.

Seems to have worked out so far.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Cynthetiq

yes.

date with and sleep with as many as you feel comfortable with.

if that is only 1, then it's one. If it's multiples, it's multiples. Be open and honest with those you date, and expect the same kind of honesty in return.

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

snowy

Yep. I once went through a period in my life where I was sleeping with two men (separately) on a casual basis. I was clear with both men that we weren't exclusive, and that I saw other people. I also dated a few guys during this time period; they always knew that I wasn't looking for anything serious or exclusive. Two years later, I was engaging in a casual sexual relationship when I met my future SO. I broke off the casual sexual relationship prior to engaging in anything intimate in my new relationship. I felt that was what had to be done in that case, because it was far more serious.

It's all situational--where you are in life, what you're looking for, what happens.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

dd3953

This is how I have always seen it.

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[Technically, I'm not possible, I'm made of exceptions. ]