Zeraph

My boss, or one of my bosses (sort of, the point is he can get me fired) is friends with my uncle. Said boss has an attractive daughter, "Jane".

Boss was friends with my uncle long before I started working there, so I've seen him and his daughter off and on for years (couple times a year at parties) before I started working with him. Jane and I have (conservatively) flirted off and on for a couple years. Boss has jokingly (but half-seriously) told me to stay away from Jane (he's over protective, and she's 4 years younger than me, I'm 23, she's 19).

Here's the current situation, I'll probably be seeing her soon (at new years) and I'm wondering if I should go for it now that she's old enough. Usually I'm very straightforward but there are a lot of factors involved. Even if she wants to have a serious relationship with me it's possible I could get fired. And if for some unlikely reason she says no AND tells her dad I might get fired for nothing.

I do quite like her, but I'm not crazy over her. We have a lot in common and I know she's attracted to me but I have no idea if she'd want a serious relationship. I'd be willing to be fired over it if I knew for sure I'd get a long term relationship with her but I'm not sure it's worth the risk.

Any thoughts, opinions? Any tips on subtle ways to find out if she'd want a serious relationship with me?...dumb question I know, just thought I'd ask.

Also, let's just assume I would get fired if he found out I was hitting on his one and only daughter. I'd like to think he'd be rational about it but well, he's kind of an irrational guy. And moving jobs is currently out of the question. Plus it'd probably create family tension anyway, even if I didn't work there. He'd tell my uncle, my uncle would tell my aunt, my aunt would tell my mom, etc.

PS If he fired me wrongly I wouldn't take any legal action because of the whole friend of the family thing and the family tension I mentioned earlier. Nor would he technically fire me for his daughter anyway, I'm fairly certain he could find some loophole if he really wanted to.

analog

Hmm... large risk with many big problems should it go wrong, with a small margin for success that you may not want anyway...

I say go for it.

But really, would finding another job be impossible?

Fotzlid

the daughter is old enough to make her own decisions as are you.
if he "finds" something to can you for, thank him cause he is obviously unfit to be a boss and you'll be better off in the long run.

cyklone

As the father of a 19 year old girl, I would say go for it if you want to lose your job. He has given you a warning; remember shakespeares comment about things said in jest....
For most men, when it comes to daughters, rationality goes out the window, perhaps because we know what horny arseholes we were at that age, and our daughters seem so innocent and perfect (yeaah, right). It has nothing to do with being a good or bad boss, it is about how you feel as a parent. You WILL understand when you are a father.

We know they screw around but we don't want to hear about it or know for certain. We accept that it happens as a matter of necessity because we know what we were like at that age. That doesn't mean we like it or will put up with it if we can avoid it.
I doubt he will be upset with you if his daughter tells him you rejected her. That is what he prefers.

Cynthetiq

don't shit where you eat, unless you want to eat at another table.

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robot_parade

Yup. Like others said, if you tap it, be ready to find a new job.

pig

how about "don't go in crazy-go-nuts gangbuster style, flapping your dick down on the dinner table and asking her to stroke it to the tune of auld lange syne?" i would suggest just talking to her and reading her vibe, and perhaps, perhaps, suggest y'all go for a walk or grab coffee or something that could be totally innocuous. with the issues involved here, why not take it a little slower and see where it goes? i can see multiple ways of working around this one. most of them involve treating her like a friend who you might want to get frisky with, and letting things progress at a natural rate...and letting her father see that regardless of what happens, you're treating her like a gentleman.

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IdolGirl

^^That's what I was going to say...well done!

Take it very slow, and actually take the time to let the father see for himself that you aren't using her (don't start having sex with her right off the bat!), and perhaps if he sees that you truly respect his daughter, and treat her right, he'll be easier to sway.

ratbastid

I generally subscribe to the notion that trouble is best headed off in advance. You might talk to him first. You know, like, "I know you've said to stay away from her, and I think you were probably not entirely joking when you said that, but the fact is, I think she's really great, and I think she might be interested in me, and I'd like your blessing to explore that, and I promise to be a gentleman with her no matter what happens."

You've got to mean that, of course. If he says he can't get on board and you hit it anyway, you're toast. And if he says it's okay with him and you bang her and leave her, you're toast. This is an opportunity to give your word to something, and then honor your word.

The_Jazz

Maybe she's a heartless slut or tease that makes every guy she dates completely miserable, and he likes you well enough that he doesn't want to see you subjected to that kind of torture.

It's just as plausible as anything else here.

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Ustwo

She's obviously not that hot or you wouldn't be asking us for advice if you should proceed or not.

You also don't seem to care that much about the job.

So the math goes as follows.

Hotness of chick - desire to keep job + desperation to get laid = do you go for it.

If the final number is a negative number you don't do it.
If the final number is positive you go for it.
If the final number is zero you wait for her to jump you first.

I hope this simple guide has been of help.

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Plan9

Pig, did you ever know that you're my hero? And everything I would like to be?!

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telekinetic

Yes. I second the "Don't stick your meat where you get your bread."

There are many fish in the sea. Find one that won't affect your ability to feed yourself.

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DEI37

They are both old enough to make decisions on their own. Her father has no say in who she sees, and can't keep this guy from her in any way shape or form. I agree somewhat with the above sentiment that if he fires you because you're dating his daughter, which he has no right to tell you not to at this point...she's over 18...then you'll be better off wherever else you work.

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Shauk

it's really simple

if your job is that important and irreplaceable, (yeah right man, you're only 23) then don't mess.

if your job is just something that you're doing for money right now but isn't your career that you want to end up doing forever, go for the girl, have some fun, learn something from it.

EITHER WAY, that "boss" of yours shouldn't have jack shit to say about your choices outside of work. Furthermore, I'd say go to his boss, or a parallel higher up immediately after you get all "official-like" with his daughter and ask for immunity of some sort if you can. People are rational and reasonable in most cases. if he can "get you fired" he's got to convince someone to fire you 1st, and if that person is aware of his REAL motive for trying to get you fired, then he's rendered impotent.

I like bold

ubertuber

If you're really into the girl for the possibility of the long term, you'll find a way to do this right -- which means getting her father on board.

If you DON'T care about that, well then, you're exactly what he's afraid of.

So really, the job has nothing to do with the proper approach to this situation.

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dlish

if you get fired then fuck your boss over by claiming unfair dismissal.. then to make his life hell fuck him over some more by fucking his daughter

that'd teach the fucker...

oops.. sorry guys.. i got carried away..

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Ustwo

And if he does that he has judged Zeraphs character correctly.

Yea I'll show him by fucking his daughter to get back at him.

Juvenile in thinking.

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Esoteric

What the fuck does it matter what he thinks? I'm sure she's old enough to make her own decisions now.

He'll either fire you for it (which would be a pretty stupid reason to fire someone for) or he'll man up and deal with it.

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dlish

oh wise old man...

is it really that hard to know that a young buck would want to get into the pants of a pretty young girl at that age?

it aint rocket science.. you've been round the block. i dont need to explain.

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An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Zeraph

Thanks for the varied opinions. Lot of angles I'll have to think about and weigh. I'll just play it by ear when the time comes and be cautious.

pig

aww shucks Crompsin...I'm just a simple guy doing what I can...let's just call it confirmation of mutual admiration..

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