dualman7

I''ve been attempting to live life on an even keel; not get too excited when things are going great, and not get too down when things get uncomfortable.


Still, I find myself being very outgoing, outspoken and full of excited energy when I'm in the presence of people I am comfortable being around.

When faced with the opposite side of the spectrum, I find myself shut off from my surroundings and I turn into an extremely shy, depressed, and self conscious person.

I've done a lot of reading on the subject, yet no matter how hard I consciously try to stay on an even keel, my day is usually filled with ups and downs.


Those of you who have it down - How do you do it?

Sultana

I rather think that this is how life is, a series of ups and downs; why would you want to dampen that, unless you're manic-depressive?

Sometimes I think to myself, "This too shall pass", whether it's good or bad. Kinda helps to keep a balanced perspective.

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

abaya

I think Sultana is right... ups and downs are a regular part of life. The only concern for you would be, how quickly do your ups become downs, and vice versa? Also, do you have certain "triggers" that change your mood drastically? Have you talked with a therapist about your concerns?

For me, being in a long-distance relationship made me pretty vulnerable to mood instability. Little things set me off easily, without notice. I wondered if I needed to be on anti-depressants. But ever since I finally moved in with my husband, I feel like my mood is pretty "even-keeled" for the most part. There are still things that make me feel a bit sad or depressed, but not nearly as badly as I used to. But if I had continued having problems with regulating my emotions even after the relationship stopped being long-distance, I definitely would have looked into anti-depressants and other forms of therapy... because that's just not natural for me.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

match000

I guess this is fairly "obvious", but I agree with that; I am funny, fun, jovial around people I am comfortable with, but I turn really introspective, brooding, and moody around those who I would *like* to be comfortable with, but are *not*...

I think this is mostly a defensive shield; I am afraid that if I let myself be too comfortable then they will see something they don't like about me, and I cannot get closer to them.

But then again, if you don't let your shield down, you can't get closer to them in the first place..

Catch-22.. I've been trying to let loose and just be myself, especially around those who I want to be comfortable around but am not just yet..

Toaster126

Could be worse. You could be like me and never get the emotion swings. The only thing worse than constantly being happy and then sad is always being very "meh".

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

healer

Dude, snap out of it.

But what Toaster said is very true. You can't know what it means to be happy if you've never been sad. If there are no downs, how can there be any ups?

I say be outgoing, be outspoken and enjoy the happy times in your life to the fullest. And when the shit hits the fan and it all goes to hell, just keep your head up. It will get better.

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Nimetic

Sounds like you hang with the one group - but not the other. Unless you're talking a more serious situation?

soniclifemonkey

If you are already reading, try The Power of Now. I thought it was going to be all new agey or full of releigion or I'd be talked into buying something by the end but there was none of that. There are no workshops or anything.

It is all about peace. So many things make sense to me now. I have found so much more meaning in my religion. So much of it is simply misdirected. I can find peace at anytime. Even when things are bad. There is always a way to find peace inside of you. No matter what happens on the outside. I'd like o hear if anyone else has read this book.

indebut

lots of booze

__________________
Serving the world one drink at a time

Cross-Over

Many people have given you good feedback in terms of assessing whether your "highs" and 'lows" are considerable enough to seek therapy. If you think the answer is no, try asking close friends or family members, they may agree or disagree.

As far as an even keel in life, it truly depends on your socialization, personality, support system, and other factors. Speaking to a therapist couldn't hurt, that is unless you have no insurance or money is an issue (co-pays are often high for therapy).

Jinn

Trust me, you're better off with a lot of ups and downs.

I'm like Toaster, and I'm "meh" about most things. Nothing is entirely amazing, but nothing is really dissapointing, either.

It gets you in a lot of trouble, because people expect you to be excited about certain things, and if you're not, they think you're ignoring it or them.

They also expect you to be sad about certain things, and if you're not, they think you're heartless.

__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel