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Old 11-30-2003, 10:59 AM   #1 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: Sydney
If only.

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much?" Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job." Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! No hand-job is worth that kind of money!"

The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?" "Yes." "Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?" "Yes." "And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?" "Yes." "Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500."

Guy says, "What the hell? I'll give it a try." They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realising that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500.

He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?" The hooker replies, "$1,500." "$1,500!? No blow-job could be worth that". The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500."

The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, says, "Sign me up." Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money's worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience.

He asks the hooker, "How much for some pussy?" The hooker says, "Come over here to the window. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vega s is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces and showplaces?" "Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?" "No," the hooker replies, "but I would if I had a pussy..."
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Old 11-30-2003, 02:29 PM   #2 (permalink)
Psycho
 
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.....

OMG! Now that would make me queasy...


~tommy
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Old 11-30-2003, 03:10 PM   #3 (permalink)
Crazy
 
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Location: Oside
now that's an experience in Vegas I'd really like to forget.
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Old 11-30-2003, 05:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: Sunny S.FLA
Omfg....EEEEEWWWWWW

EEEPPPP!!

RUN AWAY!
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Old 11-30-2003, 08:40 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Central Coast CA
ewwww
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Old 11-30-2003, 09:26 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: Illinois
Yikes.
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Old 11-30-2003, 10:39 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
heh
that's pretty clever.
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Old 11-30-2003, 11:35 PM   #8 (permalink)
Sexy eh?
 
Location: Sweden
Lmao!! Man that was unexpected.. good one!!!
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Old 12-01-2003, 02:49 PM   #9 (permalink)
Addict
 
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Location: Nor Cal
ok, yuck with a capital Y
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Old 12-01-2003, 03:15 PM   #10 (permalink)
is you wicked?
 
Location: I live in a giant bucket.
Ha! I need to remember to tell this one to my buddies at the bar. They'd probably get a kick out of it. I wasn't expecting that ending.
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Old 12-02-2003, 12:13 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Location: WI
Ack...
Heh
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Old 12-02-2003, 12:27 AM   #12 (permalink)
Crazy
 
that was "interesting"
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Old 12-02-2003, 12:40 AM   #13 (permalink)
Crazy
 
great ending to a great joke. That would be one thing I definetly would want to leave in Las Vegas
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Old 12-02-2003, 01:48 AM   #14 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: chocolate city
That had me guessing all the way to the end
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Old 12-03-2003, 02:02 AM   #15 (permalink)
Comment or else!!
 
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Location: Home sweet home
lets just hope she dont have a penis either (so she pees the same way she shit). LOL!!!
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Old 12-04-2003, 12:02 PM   #16 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: East Tennessee
That was a good one but it was WRONG!!!!

I definitely did not see that coming!
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Old 12-04-2003, 12:13 PM   #17 (permalink)
Insane
 
HAHAHAH!!!~!!!!!
if that was me..i'll beat that hooker and take the money back!
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Old 12-04-2003, 06:25 PM   #18 (permalink)
Insane
 
Heh heh. That's hilarious.
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Old 12-05-2003, 11:28 AM   #19 (permalink)
Searching for the perfect brew!
 
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Sick! Just sick!
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Old 12-05-2003, 08:18 PM   #20 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: British Columbia
yech.. funny joke... but yech..
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Old 12-05-2003, 08:23 PM   #21 (permalink)
Crazy
 
thats just wrong. Funny though, hope that never happens to me.
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Old 12-05-2003, 08:47 PM   #22 (permalink)
 
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Location: up north
ahahahaha!
scary!
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Old 12-06-2003, 03:15 AM   #23 (permalink)
It wasnt me
 
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Location: Scotland
now THAT was unexpected - brilliant!!
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Old 12-06-2003, 07:26 AM   #24 (permalink)
Curious
 
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Location: NJ (but just for college)
GREAT joke!
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Old 12-07-2003, 10:44 AM   #25 (permalink)
Eh?
 
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Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
LMAO Good stuff
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Old 12-08-2003, 04:59 AM   #26 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Australia
lol, that joke will serve well as a warning if i ever go to las vegas
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Old 12-08-2003, 10:11 AM   #27 (permalink)
prb
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I will never forget that joke. And I will repeat it so others never forget.
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Old 12-25-2003, 07:26 PM   #28 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Nice, a little upsetting but funny.
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