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09-05-2006, 10:13 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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The Navy Retirement Plan
The American Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those
two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?" The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."
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Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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09-05-2006, 10:53 AM
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#2 (permalink) |
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hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005
Location: North side
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HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
I'm glad I wasn't drinking something when I read that... monitors are expensive....
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Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi
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09-13-2006, 02:17 AM
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#9 (permalink) | |
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Loves green eggs and ham
Location: I'm just sittin' here watching the world go round and round
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Quote:
I WAS drinking something but I missed the moniter
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If you're travelling at the speed of light, and you turn the headlights on, do they do anything? My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die! Drink Dickens' Hard Cider because nothing makes a girl smile like a Hard DIckens' Cider! |
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| Tags |
| navy, plan, retirement |
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