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06-27-2003, 01:22 AM
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#3 (permalink) |
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Conspiracy Realist
Location: The Event Horizon
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Etymology: Middle English, from Old English thćt, neut. demonstrative pronoun & definite article; akin to Old High German daz, neuter demonstrative pronoun & definite article, Greek to, Latin istud, neuter demonstrative pronoun
Date: before 12th century 1 a : the person, thing, or idea indicated, mentioned, or understood from the situation <that is my father> b : the time, action, or event specified <after that I went to bed> c : the kind or thing specified as follows <the purest water is that produced by distillation> d : one or a group of the indicated kind <that's a cat -- quick and agile> 2 a : the one farther away or less immediately under observation or discussion <those are maples and these are elms> b : the former one 3 a -- used as a function word after and to indicate emphatic repetition of the idea expressed by a previous word or phrase <he was helpful, and that to an unusual degree> b -- used as a function word immediately before or after a word group consisting of a verbal auxiliary or a form of the verb be preceded by there or a personal pronoun subject to indicate emphatic repetition of the idea expressed by a previous verb or predicate noun or predicate adjective <is she capable? She is that> 4 a : the one : the thing : the kind : SOMETHING, ANYTHING <the truth of that which is true> <the senses are that whereby we experience the world> <what's that you say> b plural : some persons <those who think the time has come> - all that : everything of the kind indicated <tact, discretion, and all that> - at that 1 : in spite of what has been said or implied 2 : in addition
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To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit.- Stephen Hawking |
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06-27-2003, 03:42 AM
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#7 (permalink) |
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comfortably numb...
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
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look, up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a 'plane, it's, it's...
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it. |
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06-27-2003, 07:52 AM
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#9 (permalink) |
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Gastrolithuanian
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
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The near ox-sized putrid mass of pulpy tissue had randomly placed gibbering toothy vomiting maws and short fat dripping tentacles tipped with bloodshot eyeballs. It continuously changed shape in a horrible oozing fashion and suffered monstrous eruptions from its angry proud flesh. I cried out, “hey kid, don’t put your lips on that thing!” but it was too late.
-GH |
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06-30-2003, 11:52 AM
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#23 (permalink) |
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Essen meine kurze Hosen
Location: NY Burbs
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Well, if it has webbed feet, a bill, and lays eggs then it <b>must</b> be a duck.
'Course it could be...  <b>ME!</b>
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Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net. Last edited by platypus; 06-30-2003 at 11:54 AM.. |
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06-30-2003, 12:33 PM
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#24 (permalink) |
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Gastrolithuanian
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
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Hail Platypus,
I recently learned that the male platypus is venomous. As if they were not weird enough as it is, they have poisonous spurs on their back legs. Can you confirm this and if I am not getting too personal, what do you use them for? -GH |
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06-30-2003, 12:50 PM
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#25 (permalink) |
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Essen meine kurze Hosen
Location: NY Burbs
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'Tis true. I use them mostly for digging into the mattress. Gives me extra leverage when puttin' the stones to Mrs. Platypus.
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Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net. |
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06-30-2003, 12:55 PM
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#26 (permalink) |
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Gastrolithuanian
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
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Thank you.
She is a very lucky mammal. Does the venom paralyze her, arouse her or make her forget? Perhaps all three. I have also heard that loud noises can kill a platypus instantly. Sadly, Hamburgers do not have poisonous spurs. -GH |
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06-30-2003, 01:02 PM
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#28 (permalink) |
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The Cover Doesn't Match The Book
Location: in a van down by the river
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now that we know what it is.......how do we cook it?
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SWM, tattooed, seeks meaningful tits and beer. Enjoys biker mags, pornography, and Sunday morning walks to the liquor store. Winners of erotic hot dog eating contests given priority. |
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06-30-2003, 01:35 PM
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#29 (permalink) |
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Essen meine kurze Hosen
Location: NY Burbs
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Yes, Hamburger, she is a lucky ma... well, monotreme actually. Sadly, Mrs. Platypus is not aroused by my venom. I extol the curative virtues of its high protein makeup - good for the complexion, fur, etc. But she claims that NO female platypi (platypussies?) really like venom. I, however, recall that in my younger single years, all my platybonks rather enjoyed partaking of my copious venom.
As to how to cook me, I prefer to be braised in a light wine sauce with shallots and mushrooms. Served over a bed of homemade fettucini, with garlic bread, and a bottle of Shyraz (d'Arenberg Dead Arm would be nice, thank you).
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Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net. Last edited by platypus; 06-30-2003 at 01:41 PM.. |
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06-30-2003, 01:46 PM
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#30 (permalink) |
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Gastrolithuanian
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
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Understood my highly specialized friend.
Just tell the old lady if she can't give you what you want that you are going to go down the street and see that sexy little echidna that just moved in to the neighborhood.  I've heard she's an anteater. -GH |
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06-30-2003, 02:12 PM
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#32 (permalink) |
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Essen meine kurze Hosen
Location: NY Burbs
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Shhhh! That's a prickly situation. Don't want the wife to find out.
As you could surmise, echidna bonking must be undertaken with the utmost care. The good news, however, is that they have no teeth and sport a 6.5 inch tongue.
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Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net. |
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06-30-2003, 07:57 PM
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#34 (permalink) | |
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Gastrolithuanian
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
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Quote:
Just for the record, my pickles are not poisonous. Thank you and good night. -GH |
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06-30-2003, 08:15 PM
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#35 (permalink) |
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Loose Cunt
Location: North Bondi RSL
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Tell you what... when it rolls up into a ball, we'll play catch. Those spikes are too soft to hurt...
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What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up? |
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BASTARD
