uptown

A question that has puzzled me for quite awhile.

If a man is really, really turned on by large breasted women why doesn't he stay single till he meets one ?

Why hookup with a small breasted gal then spend all your time checking out stacked women ? Why not just accept that large breasts are on your list of requirements and pass on the less endowed gal ?

SiN

because sometimes people make compromises for other qualities, or are blinded by love, afraid to be alone, or just not wanting to be single.

shit, if everyone stayed single until they meet their 'ideal' ... well, that just goes against human nature.


why stay in such a situation?

(ok, ... granted such an issue can certainly be manageable in a relationship, but shit uptown, this isn't the first time we've heard such from you ... not at all. get over it or get out).

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uptown

It's not that easy.. sigh... you know how when you're making love and a guy will reach down to fondle your breast ? I'm so small that he ends up frantically pawing the air, totally forget leaning down to kiss a nipple or any other kind of breast play during actual intercourse cause it doesn't work.

onodrim

Pretty much everything that SiNi said. Yes it would be awesome if everyone could be with their perfect physical ideal for a partner, but it's just reality that it doens't happen. And there is so much more to be gained from a relationship than simple physical attraction. Given time you don't even notice the flaws anymore, and if you do you simply don't care. There is no reason to miss out on everything a relationship can bring you because of a few inches here and there. If someone choses to be with another person who isn't their physical ideal I'm sure it's because they recognize this and all the other wonderful qualities that person has to offer.

I'm small chested too, and honestly there's a limited number of things you can do with small breasts other than fondle and kiss them. Have you talked to him about it, do you tell him you wished he paid more attention to your breasts during sex? It could be that he doesn't even realize he's doing it and you're taking his non-action for a bad sign or disinterest when he might not even be aware he's hurting you.

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uptown

he does try to pay attention to my breasts during sex... and that is the problem.He engages in breast play that would work with a better endowed woman. While he's thrusting away he tries to fondle or to lean down to kiss/bite a breast but I'm so small that he'll end up slipping out which wouldn't happen if I had bigger breasts.

Gilda

I hope I'm not out of line saying this, but it sounds to me as if you're the one who has a problem with your breast size, and possibly not your guy.

Looking isn't, I think, a big problem all by itself unless it's accompanied by other rude behaviors. Does he insult yours for being small, or just enjoy the big ones he enjoys when out and about? That's not necessarily a judgement about you so much as a reflection on him. It doesn't mean he cares any less for you unless he's accompanying it with derogatory marks regarding your appearance.

I do know what you're talking about; I have tiny breasts myself. There are lots of things that you can do even with the smaller ones if you take the time for some dedicated breast play rather than trying to multitask.

Gilda

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uptown

He doesn't make derogatory comments towards me but
his positive reactions to bigger busted women make it very clear he prefers much more amply endowed women.

The biggest problem is the multitask thing, it's
really ackward when he does it and he does it almost every time. Lol, almost like he was hoping they grew magically or something since his last failed attempt.

shesus

I recently lost weight and unfortunately I went from a C cup to an A. While I was a little upset at first, I was very happy when jj took me to VS for all new bras. Anyway.....

Have you tried being on top and leaning over top of him. This makes you breasts a little bigger and is more convenient for the during sex action. Just a thought.

On another note, I find that many men like to ogle big breasts, but prefer smaller ones. I may be wrong, but this is what I have noticed. If your guy is really not happy with your breasts and he was only in the relationship for the sex, he would have left already. I think you just need to be happy with what you have and experiment various ways to have fun with what you have

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Hash_Browns

This could be played up from a different angle...if you were taller they would be at a more approachable place also...it's all in how you look at it. From what I can tell the fact that he's doing it at all could/should be taken as an interest in you regardless of your size. He's paying attention to you...that at least says something doesn't it? He doesn't get mad when it doesn't work...he does soemthing else. Maybe you need to speak up and say something to him about making it more of a foreplay thing so he can actually spend some time enjoying them while you get to spend time doing the same. There's a postion out there that will make this work better for some people, you just have to be willing to explore and figure it out. My Aunt will tell you she doesn't have breasts because she is so small...all that protrudes is her nipples and unless they are aroused, you don't really notice them...she could wear a bandaid (not two criss-crossed...just one) and you wouldn't know she had anything. But yet her husband loves to play with them. It's all in the presentation and communication.

I think you need to take some time and think about the real problem. Besides, if we each got what we wanted in a person, what would there be left to fantasize about?? That would get pretty boring I think!

--side note...we are a very open family, and I happen to be more endowed then most of my family, so we make breast jokes all the time, and we also share information openly, hence why I know these things.

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snowy

Hon, that happens even with girls who are endowed...trust me. I'm a D cup and I've had that happen.

A good friend of mine is in a relationship where her guy likes bigger breasts as well. Yet he wouldn't trade hers for all the bigger boobs in the world. Why? Because they're attached to her. Sure, some chicks have larger ones, but they're not HERS.

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SiN

One of our fine male members has this to say about the whole deal:

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rlynnm

Being well-endowed isn't all that it's cracked up to be..

A guy can look and appreciate certain aspects of other women as long as he isn't being obnoxious about it, or towards you. If he is, well you may want to re-evaluate the relationship and search for someone who adores everything that you are...

At that, if he absolutely loves big breasted women, but he is still turned on by you, loves touching you and holding you, I don't think you have much to worry about. It might actually just be all in your head....

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Eowyn_Vala

Speaking as one of the well-endowed women (size DD) I've exprienced the same problems during sex. My husband will lean down and try to play with them and slip out. I have two problems actually: 1) my breasts are too big to really play with, and 2) my breasts are usually too sensitive or not sensitive enough so that it isn't all that much fun to have my husband play with my breasts.

I envy women who have smaller breasts. You don't have pain or strain on your back, can wear cute shirts that they don't make for larger breasted women, and can run or play sports without it hurting.

But while I envy smaller breasted women, I wouldn't trade mine just because my husband has trouble playing with them during sex. There are lots of other things to explore at that time too.

uptown- it sounds to me like this is more of an issue for you. Talk to your boyfriend, experiment, and hopefully it works out. I have the feeling that if you leave the relationship just because of this issue in search of a guy who doesn't love big breasts, your problem won't be solved.

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rlynnm

I don't envy smaller chested women, I'm quite happy with what I've got, although I've always had to be more protective of them..I am completely aware that they are not that hard to miss and hence I find myself pulling necklines up just a bit so they dont show too much. Like today, it was pretty hot out, but I was uncomfortable because my top seemed to emphasize my assets, so I threw a hoodie, as hot as it was, because the coverage seemed to weigh more in comfort than the discomfort in the weather. Running becomes a bit of a chore too,,,

However, I do love the hell out of them and I always been a bit proud of my curvature..ah and the added bonus is that someone else enjoys them too....

Pros and Cons on each side....But what's most important is how you feel about you..everything else is just, well, excess.

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genuinegirly

I tend to think of my boobies as "just right". 32C. I guess I'm spoiled. Sounds like the slipping out problem isn't so much an issue of your breast size as either 1) the man's gut size or 2) their lack of concentration. Gets distracted by the boobies and forgets they need to stay inside, perhaps?

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uptown

I guess part of the problem is the fact that I don't think I've ever been in a relationship where I was my partner's prefered physical type. I'd like to be the "hot" one just once before I die.

Maybe I should bring up the idea of opening the relationship sexually.

ngdawg

This had me chucking just a bit. Maybe he 'slips out' because he's not well-endowed?
There's one factor no one really touched on: I am considered 'large'(36C on a thin frame). When women lie down, breasts, specially larger ones, 'flatten' a bit-flop to the sides, etc. They don't stick out as if we were standing up! (While larger breasts are good for tittie-fucks, we DO have to hold them there.) The only ones that probably stay in place, ie; stick out, are fake ones.
Uptown, I agree with Sin about your views via your past posts and agree that you really need to get past this. Constantly dwelling on negative aspects is an excellent way to sabotage what otherwise would be a wonderful experience. Let it go with the knowledge that it was YOU he was attracted to, the whole you.

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uptown

After thinking it over for a few days I realised I'm really tired of feeling second rate. I told him tonight that it's all over. He's now free to pursue a woman more to his liking .

ngdawg

Sorry to hear that, but seems you kicked him to the curb as a result of your own low self-perceptions, unless there's a big section you didn't mention in the beginning. It would take a lot of mental abusing from another, personally, to make me feel second-rate in their eyes. I know there will always be younger, prettier, smarter, but I also know I'm loved for who I am.
I'm sorry you weren't or didn't feel you could be.

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rlynnm

It seems the issues lie more in you than any external factor. I mean they're with you for a reason, when they could be with anyone else, right? To you, you may not be 'hot' but for all you know, you could be the hottest thing to 'em. Sometimes when men forget to acknowledge certain things about us, it makes us insecure..and possibly, this is all that's lacking....some sweet, gentle affirmation.

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The hardest thing is to be honest with yourself, especially if that means completely redefining the world you've come to know.

Don't look too hard, I'm right in front of you.

rlynnm

Oops just read this one.

If you feel the relationship had no contribution to you as a person, and you were being seen/treated unfairly, then I'm glad you realized that early on and opted to move on. No one should be made to feel like they are less of a person--especially if that person has the potential to spend their life with you

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The hardest thing is to be honest with yourself, especially if that means completely redefining the world you've come to know.

Don't look too hard, I'm right in front of you.