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"they treat money as an even 50/50 thing"
He gives her half his paycheck, and then they each contribute half of their money toward the bills? That's 50/50. What I think you're describing is 100%/0%, and it terribly difficult when you're the 0% person. You should never have to get 'permission' to buy yourself something in a marriage, at least as far as I see it. Even my parents, where my mom works and my dad doesn't, she gives him a monthly amount from her check that is his to spend, without judgement. He can save it, use it, invest it, whatever - it's their deal since he committed to being the 'stay at home' parent. If my girlfriend were to ever become the stay at home parent for my progeny, I'd implement the same procedure. I don't think it's fair to hoard your share of 'influence' (in the form of it being "your money") over your spouse or SO.
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"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel
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