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Originally Posted by hunnychile
"In sickness and in health"...I did take that vow & I promised that no matter what - I would be there, but I must say, in total honesty, that after 25 years of one "major sickness" after another, I can hardly handle it any longer. My S.O. is ALWAYS sick! If I had known that I was marrying a hypocondriac I would have walked (no, RUN) the other way from the alter. Seriously. I used to love him with my entire heart, but it's become a neurosis that I can't handle any more and I am beyond the place of feeling guilty any longer.
Oh - Geez...What to do?
I am slowly moving toward a place of peace & non-involvement. The entire situation has drained every ounce of life & creativity out of me.
I don't even feel guilty about being totally numb any more.
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Hunnychile, I'm SOO Sorry to hear you are going through this!
I don't think that a neurosis about being sick is the same as being sick (except perhaps, sick in the head?), for the "In sickness and in health" bit.
To me it sounds like you have drained yourself dry. I seriously think you need to
RUN to a counselor to put your pieces back. If you can't be whole, you can't be a good partner for another. And if someone is keeping you from being whole, you have to take care of that too.
Please say that you'll do something about this. This is your one and only (as far as I know) life.