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Yes, there are collared and non-collared D/s relationships. And the "going steady" analogy would probably be the best way to describe it.
As far as the equal relationship... A Dom/me and a sub make a "unit". Together, they are more powerful than alone. The Dom/me learns from the sub as much as the otherway around. Think of this as a Ying and Yang situations where one complements the other and the two exist in complete harmony.
There are completely different types of D/s relationships all stemming from what the "s" is standing for in terms of the submission. There is everything from the submissive who has almost as much say in the relationship as the Dom/me to the comlplete slave who is at his/her Dom/me's will. Where the relationship twists and turns is absolutely determined by the submissive (and you thought the Dom/me had all the power).
I've seen vanilla relationships that emulate D/s (including my mother's relationship). I've been in relationships that did as well. But I can tell you that having been in D/s relationships has actually helped my self-esteem and given me certain confidences I never would have had otherwise.
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