Crack

Genesis 1


The Beginning

In the beginning God created .............

........................ the computer. And God entered:

c:\Let there be light
>ENTER USER ID.
c:\God
>ENTER PASSWORD.
c:\Omniscient
>PASSWORD INCORRECT. TRY AGAIN.
c:\Omnipotent
>PASSWORD INCORRECT. TRY AGAIN.
c:\Technocrat
And God logged on at 12:01:00 am, Sunday, March 1.
c:\Let there be light
>UNRECOGNIZABLE COMMAND. TRY AGAIN.
c:\Create light
>DONE.
c:\Run heaven and earth
And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 am, Sunday, March 1.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 am, Monday, March 2.
c:\Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
>UNRECOGNIZABLE COMMAND. TRY AGAIN.
c:\Create firmament
>DONE.
c:\Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 am, Monday, March 2.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 am, Tuesday, March 3.
c:\Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and
let the dry land appear and
>TOO MANY CHARACTERS IN SPECIFICATION STRING. TRY AGAIN.
c:\Create dry_land
>DONE.
c:\Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 am, Tuesday, March 3.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 am, Wednesday, March 4.
c:\Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
>UNSPECIFIED TYPE. TRY AGAIN.
c:\Create sun_moon_stars
>DONE.
c:\Run sun_moon_stars
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 am, Wednesday, March 4.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 am, Thursday, March 5.
c:\Create fish
>DONE.
c:\Create fowl
>DONE.
c:\Run fish, fowl
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged
fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 am, Friday, March 6.
c:\Create cattle
>DONE.
c:\Create creepy_things
>DONE.
c:\Now let us make man in our image
>UNSPECIFIED TYPE. TRY AGAIN.
c:\Create man
>DONE
c:\Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and
have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and
over every living thing that creepeth upon th
>TOO MANY COMMAND OPERANDS. TRY AGAIN.
c:\Run multiplication
>EXECUTION TERMINATED. 6 ERRORS.
c:\Insert breath
>DONE
c:\Run multiplication
>EXECUTION TERMINATED. 5 ERRORS.
c:\Move man to Garden of Eden
>FILE GARDEN OF EDEN DOES NOT EXIST.
c:\Create Garden.edn
>DONE.
c:\Move man to Garden.edn
>DONE.
c:\Run multiplication
>EXECUTION TERMINATED. 4 ERRORS.
c:\Copy woman from man
>DONE.
c:\Run multiplication
>EXECUTION TERMINATED. 2 ERRORS.
c:\Create desire
>DONE.
c:\Run multiplication
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
>WARNING: NO TIME LIMIT ON THIS RUN. 1 ERRORS.
c:\Create freewill
>DONE.
c:\Run freewill
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
>WARNING: NO TIME LIMIT ON THIS RUN. 1 ERRORS.
c:\Undo desire
>DESIRE CANNOT BE UNDONE ONCE FREEWILL IS CREATED.
c:\Delete freewill
>FREEWILL IS AN INACCESSIBLE FILE AND CANNOT BE DELETED. ENTER
>REPLACEMENT, CANCEL, OR ASK FOR HELP.
c:\Help
>DESIRE CANNOT BE UNDONE ONCE FREEWILL IS CREATED. FREEWILL IS AN
>INACCESSIBLE FILE AND CANNOT BE DELETED. ENTER REPLACEMENT, CANCEL,
>OR ASK FOR HELP.
c:\Create tree_of_knowledge
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
>WARNING: NO TIME LIMIT ON THIS RUN. 1 ERRORS.
c:\Create good, evil
>DONE
c:\Activate evil
And God saw he had created shame.
>WARNING SYSTEM ERROR IN SECTOR E95. MAN AND WOMAN NOT IN GARDEN.EDN.
>1 ERRORS.
c:\Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
>SEARCH FAILED.
c:\Delete shame
>SHAME CANNOT BE DELETED ONCE EVIL HAS BEEN ACTIVATED.
c:\Delete freewill
>FREEWILL IS AN INACCESSIBLE FILE AND CANNOT BE DELETED. ENTER
>REPLACEMENT, CANCEL, OR ASK FOR HELP.
c:\Stop
>UNRECOGNIZABLE COMMAND. TRY AGAIN.
c:\Break
c:\Break
c:\Break
>ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
>REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
c:\Create new world
>YOU HAVE EXCEEDED YOUR ALLOCATED FILE SPACE. YOU MUST DESTROY OLD
>FILES BEFORE NEW ONES CAN BE CREATED.
c:\Destroy earth
>DESTROY EARTH: CONFIRM.
c:\Destroy earth confirmed
>COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICE WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8
>AT 12:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
And God logged off at 11:59:59 pm, Friday, March 6.
At 12:00:01 am, Sunday, March 8, God created Macintosh

__________________
Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

Cryptie

Why did you put the c:\ on every line, it was supposed to be unix based, the way you have it makes no sense

feelgood

Who cares dude, jeez you read too much into the jokes...

__________________
Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

glytch

c:\ Would be in DOS, correct, but I didn't see in the original post where it was supposed to be in Unix? After the problems, Macintosh was created (which would have been Unix, where the prompt would look differently).

In summary, God created DOS, DOS screwed up, God scrapped everything and created UNIX (Macintosh).

*Edit: Just explaining the context of the joke, not my personal preferences.

__________________
If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. - Mitch Hedberg

bacon_masta

that was hilarious