What drives men? love, sex or both? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Cervantes · 07-11-2005, 11:18 AM

http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magaz...X_OR_BOTH_.asp

Quote:

<h2>What drives men? Is it love, or sex or both?</h2>
<h5>Joy Crawford
Monday, July 11, 2005</h5>
Do we know what drives our men? Sex, for sure, makes their world go round, but is it only that or are our men also motivated by love?

There is no doubt about it. Men live and die for sex. If you are going to ask a man to live without sex, you might as well ask him to cease to exist. Yes, men usually are the bread-winners and thrive on high-drama, corporate intrigue and, yet, in all that, sex seems to be the aphrodisiac for their success.

Any man you can think of who is successful is usually highly sexed, even if it is only in his mind. A rich and powerful man usually has a bevy of beauties from which to choose, whether he is married or not. Call it ego. Look at Hugh Hefner, Playboy magnate. To this day, he surrounds himself with his playmates. Of course, I highly suspect that he is getting quite a lot of help from the little blue pill, but he is forever smiling.

Fictional character, James Bond, Agent 007, is renowned for his myriad sexual marathons. It doesn't matter the time, the place or the race. Have ticker, will travel! And when we think about it, we will realise that James Bond has survived over four decades because everybody loves him, both men and women. The men love his image. Every man wants to know that he can have any woman he chooses and still find time for high drama and intrigue.

Women want a James Bond to love and make love to them. Of course, every girl loves a bad boy and he epitomises the bad boy life in the fast lane. I guess we can dream. And isn't that what life is all about, realising one's dream, one's potential?

They say that men spend many a waking hour thinking about sex. When they are not working, they actively think about it and even when they are working. Look at how they are orientated anyway. They invariably wake up with an erection and usually can't wait to quench that thirst. Some men go into a panic if they don't have one. Even with one foot in the grave, they are scouting for willing skirts and they are not above paying for it. A very dear friend of mine once confided that he would be willing to pay for it in his seventies or eighties, because, if he could get it up at that age, even with the help of the little blue pill, he would. What's life all about at that age, anyway?

Love, on the other hand, he said, was highly overrated. You don't need love to exist, just as you don't need marriage in order to have sex. If the truth be known, once you have found love, you should count your blessings, because it isn't always repeated. So if you can get sex without love, why buy the milk? - a very cynical view, if you ask me, but then again men see life differently than women do. They can be callous unless they are struck by Cupid's arrow and then it is quite a different granola.

Have you ever seen how men in love behave? All reasoning flies through the window. They are enslaved. They pursue you. They wine you and dine you. They can't wait to get home to you. I marvel at how we stupidly lose that, once we settle into a relationship. To me, when you love someone, you ought to celebrate that love every waking moment. You should shower your man with love and attention. You should tantalise him not only in the morning, but at lunch-time or even tea-time, not to mention bedtime. And don't speak about the children. Necessity, they say, is the mother of invention, so you should be constantly inventing ways to get him worshipping at your temple! I know. I am incurably romantic!

So love will drive a man for a while, but, after the novelty wears off, he will go back to sex and plan his strategy to have it as often as he can, and, that's why, my friends, as wives and girlfriends we need to be ready. Far too many of us turn our backs on our man when he comes to bed rearing to go and then wonder why men stray. If you want your man, the only thing that should stop you from giving him what he wants is a sick bed!

Far too many women retire from sex, once they reach their forties, fifties or sixties. What do we expect our men to do? Play marbles? They need and want constant reassurance and I would suggest that older women learn to inject a little sexual healing. Marvin Gaye was right, you know. You can't go wrong, if you kill him with it! Believe me, he will eagerly anticipate that death! I am yet to meet a man at any age who isn't after sex. Even, in his rocking chair, a man's brain is racing at a hundred miles an hour on what ifs and what used to be.

I challenge every woman to ask her man what drives him. Is it love or is it sex or is it both? You might be pleasantly surprised. Happy sexual aerobics!

Joy Crawford is an attorney-at-law

I think this article is spot on in some ways but I feel that she somewhat underestimates men's romantic drive, but maybe that's just me.
What do you think?

07-11-2005, 11:34 AM

It's both, of course - I think it would be a little extreme to suggest it was purely one or the other.

Jinn · 07-11-2005, 12:23 PM

Oh what a bunch of piddle paddle.. sex without love is "ok", love without sex is "ok".. why would you willingly deprive yourself of other when you can have both?

Craven Morehead · 07-12-2005, 12:24 PM

Sorta off the subject, sorta not.

An old saying I've heard about the differences between men and women.

Women use sex to get love, men use love to get sex.

World's King · 07-12-2005, 12:33 PM

Love, sex, or both?

Well, I know it's not love...

Astrocloud · 07-12-2005, 12:46 PM

Option C should be Money.

mr sticky · 07-12-2005, 01:00 PM

Sex without love is just masturbating with really a good prop. (BTW, I'm totally pro-masturbation). But, I find to be fufilled- I gotta have both. I want love and sex.

um...And I want it now!

MSD · 07-12-2005, 04:55 PM

Some people need love, some people need sex, some need both. Some see them as separate things, some can't pry them apart. Once again, some guy who feels guilty about being more focused on sex than love has made a sweeping, unscientific generalization that he assumes to be true for everyone because it is for himself.

bing bing · 07-12-2005, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSelfDestruct

Once again, some guy who feels guilty about being more focused on sex than love has made a sweeping, unscientific generalization that he assumes to be true for everyone because it is for himself.

I think it was a female that wrote the article

Martian · 07-13-2005, 03:26 AM

I think that's a little more specific than it need be. In my necessarily limited experience, I'd say most everyone wants both. Maybe not right away, but yeah. I mean, I love my girl and the sex is great. In this relationship the love is more important than the sex, but the sex is still important. I've been in relationships where the opposite is true, too though. Or ones where there is no love, more like sex and companionship, but those never seem to last.

It's a very over-romanticized notion that 'love conquers all'. We still have urges regardless and therefore sex is pretty well always important.

Rinndalir · 07-13-2005, 09:19 AM

Speaking from a male perspective. I've had sex without love and physically it was great, but with no real emotional side other than lust it only fulfills the urge. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but in the long term it ends up feeling empty. I've had love without sex, and you can love someone to death but without sex it ends up being passionless and frustrating as hell because your physical needs aren't being met. And in alot of ways it is worse than the other scenario because you start thinking about cheating or leaving and it tears you up.

However I doubt it's too much different for women, my wife has had similar experiences to mine and would agree with what I just said. You need both and when one is missing you definitely feel it.

07-11-2005, 12:23 PM	#3 (permalink)
Jinn Lover - Protector - Teacher Location: Seattle, WA	Oh what a bunch of piddle paddle.. sex without love is "ok", love without sex is "ok".. why would you willingly deprive yourself of other when you can have both? __________________ "I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

07-12-2005, 12:33 PM	#5 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	Love, sex, or both? Well, I know it's not love... __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

07-12-2005, 01:00 PM	#7 (permalink)
mr sticky Psycho Location: NC	Sex without love is just masturbating with really a good prop. (BTW, I'm totally pro-masturbation). But, I find to be fufilled- I gotta have both. I want love and sex. um...And I want it now! __________________ The sad thing is... as you get older you come to realize that you don't so much pilot your life, as you just try to hold on, in a screaming, defiant ball of white-knuckle anxious fury

07-13-2005, 03:26 AM	#10 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	I think that's a little more specific than it need be. In my necessarily limited experience, I'd say most everyone wants both. Maybe not right away, but yeah. I mean, I love my girl and the sex is great. In this relationship the love is more important than the sex, but the sex is still important. I've been in relationships where the opposite is true, too though. Or ones where there is no love, more like sex and companionship, but those never seem to last. It's a very over-romanticized notion that 'love conquers all'. We still have urges regardless and therefore sex is pretty well always important. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

07-11-2005, 11:34 AM	#2 (permalink)
zen_tom Guest	It's both, of course - I think it would be a little extreme to suggest it was purely one or the other.

07-12-2005, 12:24 PM	#4 (permalink)
Craven Morehead Custom User Title	Sorta off the subject, sorta not. An old saying I've heard about the differences between men and women. Women use sex to get love, men use love to get sex.

07-12-2005, 12:46 PM	#6 (permalink)
Astrocloud Apocalypse Nerd	Option C should be Money.

07-12-2005, 04:55 PM	#8 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	Some people need love, some people need sex, some need both. Some see them as separate things, some can't pry them apart. Once again, some guy who feels guilty about being more focused on sex than love has made a sweeping, unscientific generalization that he assumes to be true for everyone because it is for himself.

07-13-2005, 09:19 AM	#11 (permalink)
Rinndalir Insane	Speaking from a male perspective. I've had sex without love and physically it was great, but with no real emotional side other than lust it only fulfills the urge. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but in the long term it ends up feeling empty. I've had love without sex, and you can love someone to death but without sex it ends up being passionless and frustrating as hell because your physical needs aren't being met. And in alot of ways it is worse than the other scenario because you start thinking about cheating or leaving and it tears you up. However I doubt it's too much different for women, my wife has had similar experiences to mine and would agree with what I just said. You need both and when one is missing you definitely feel it.