Introducing masturbation into marriage.. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

harbalz · 03-27-2005, 10:22 AM

I'm a happily married guy and my wife and I have a good sex life. I'm wanting to spice it up a little bit by introducing mutual masturbation into our life. My wife is fairly conservative when it comes to sex, I'm a little more liberal. I masturbate discreetly now, she knows I do it, but we don't really talk about it. I don't think she does it.

What I'm wanting is for us to be able to openly masturbate in front of one another. I would love to be able to just lie down in front of her and just have her watch me wank off. I'd also love for her to do it and for me to watch her. Hell, I'd also love for us to be able to just lay down and do it side by side. I'm not sure how to introduce this into our lives. How many other couples out there do this? Is this a pretty common thing, or kinda out there?

Sage · 03-27-2005, 10:38 AM

OOO Martel and I love doing this! So no it's not a wierd thing at all!

Anyway, first of all lemme address the embarassment factor. If you ever wach porn where women masturbate, they're always legs spread, rubbing their fingers over their clit. Well, for me, I don't masturbate that way at all! So for a long time, I was embarassed to do it in front of Martel because it was hard to relax, because I felt like I had a wierd technique. Keep in mind your wife might feel the same way.

I'd suggest starting with some mutual masturbating of each other- finger her, have her give you a hand job, just to get used to the idea of coming together without using a "tab A in slot B" approach. Then, perhaps when she's riled up, you could tell her how much you love it when she comes, how wonderful her body looks, how beautiful it is, how much it turns you on to know that she's feeling that good, how much you love her- all the great stuff that happens to you when she's coming. Then, tell her that you want to make sure you're doing it right- ask if she'd take your fingers and guide them over herself like her own fingers- IE have her show you with your fingers how she masturbates. Perhaps another thing you could do would be to masturbate yourself while sucking on one of her nipples and fingering her- this way she's becoming comfortable with the idea of you masturbating.

Do you know she does masturbate? Some women don't- she might not know how! In that case, do the afforementioned stuff, and get her comfortable with her touching herself. Does she ever rub her clit when you're inside of her? If not, perhaps you could do that, then ask her again to put her fingers on yours and show her where it feels good. Another thing to do, when her fingers are on yours, is after you've got the technique down, perhaps tell her you want to get her off with her fingers, and put your hand over hers, using her fingers to get her off, but moving them with your hand.

Anyway, always reassure her that it's so beautiful to see her masturbate. AND don't foget to communicate very very well about this, in a loving way! If you sex life is as hot as you say it is, I'm sure she'd be up for trying something new! Good luck!

helipilot · 03-27-2005, 02:15 PM

My wife and I mutually masturbate quite frequently. It really turns her on to watch me jack off. She loves the visual, the sound, and getting covered in cum. We've pretty much always done it mutually, we are both pretty liberal reagarding sex and enjoy it alot. There are times when we do it by ourselves which we are o.k. with. I would just start slow and gradually introduce it in your foreplay and then progress from there. It is a great turn on to watch your partner get off while your are just a bystander. Good luck and happy whacking!

f6twister · 03-27-2005, 06:36 PM

The stuff above are all good ideas but are all missing one thing.....talk to her about it. My wife and I have always talked about what we want during sex and we have both tried things the other has requested. Communication is the basic essential for getting anywhere in a relationship.

la petite moi · 03-27-2005, 06:42 PM

Masturbation in front of each other is pretty damn sexy, but do make sure you talk to her about it. It shouldn't be too weird- you have both had sex with each other, and so you know what each other looks like.

Devoid · 03-28-2005, 03:01 PM

I'll echo previous comments here. Open communication is the most important thing, not only for this, but for marriage in general. Keeping secrets, or just not talking about things is terrible. Tell her how you're feeling, see what she thinks about it, then go from there. And good luck.

desal75 · 03-29-2005, 03:25 AM

Maybe next time you are giving her oral start doing masturbating a little bit just to get her used to the idea that you do it and are comfortable in front of her. That way she will be a little distracted and may even find it a turn on at that ultra erotic time.

Just a thought

Batski · 04-07-2005, 12:53 PM

My boyfriend used to like to pause before he fucked me, when he was between my legs, and look at my pussy. This was when he would masturbate a little. He would say what a beautiful hot cunt, and jerk off a little. In this way, he included me in his masturbation and made me feel i was the reason for it. Most women would enjoy this I think, its a compliment. start this way and over time you can slowly get to a point of wanking over her exposed cunt, and eventually ask her to join in.

flick · 04-07-2005, 01:01 PM

I introduced women to it by grabbing their hand and fingers and guiding their hand onto their pleasure center (keeping my hand on theirs for comfort).

It gets them used to touching themselves and doesn't quite feel like masterbation yet because you are still participating.

Timing seems to be everything, I introduced it to her when she was a little "cheeky".

03-27-2005, 10:22 AM	#1 (permalink)
harbalz Upright	Introducing masturbation into marriage.. I'm a happily married guy and my wife and I have a good sex life. I'm wanting to spice it up a little bit by introducing mutual masturbation into our life. My wife is fairly conservative when it comes to sex, I'm a little more liberal. I masturbate discreetly now, she knows I do it, but we don't really talk about it. I don't think she does it. What I'm wanting is for us to be able to openly masturbate in front of one another. I would love to be able to just lie down in front of her and just have her watch me wank off. I'd also love for her to do it and for me to watch her. Hell, I'd also love for us to be able to just lay down and do it side by side. I'm not sure how to introduce this into our lives. How many other couples out there do this? Is this a pretty common thing, or kinda out there?

03-27-2005, 10:38 AM	#2 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	OOO Martel and I love doing this! So no it's not a wierd thing at all! Anyway, first of all lemme address the embarassment factor. If you ever wach porn where women masturbate, they're always legs spread, rubbing their fingers over their clit. Well, for me, I don't masturbate that way at all! So for a long time, I was embarassed to do it in front of Martel because it was hard to relax, because I felt like I had a wierd technique. Keep in mind your wife might feel the same way. I'd suggest starting with some mutual masturbating of each other- finger her, have her give you a hand job, just to get used to the idea of coming together without using a "tab A in slot B" approach. Then, perhaps when she's riled up, you could tell her how much you love it when she comes, how wonderful her body looks, how beautiful it is, how much it turns you on to know that she's feeling that good, how much you love her- all the great stuff that happens to you when she's coming. Then, tell her that you want to make sure you're doing it right- ask if she'd take your fingers and guide them over herself like her own fingers- IE have her show you with your fingers how she masturbates. Perhaps another thing you could do would be to masturbate yourself while sucking on one of her nipples and fingering her- this way she's becoming comfortable with the idea of you masturbating. Do you know she does masturbate? Some women don't- she might not know how! In that case, do the afforementioned stuff, and get her comfortable with her touching herself. Does she ever rub her clit when you're inside of her? If not, perhaps you could do that, then ask her again to put her fingers on yours and show her where it feels good. Another thing to do, when her fingers are on yours, is after you've got the technique down, perhaps tell her you want to get her off with her fingers, and put your hand over hers, using her fingers to get her off, but moving them with your hand. Anyway, always reassure her that it's so beautiful to see her masturbate. AND don't foget to communicate very very well about this, in a loving way! If you sex life is as hot as you say it is, I'm sure she'd be up for trying something new! Good luck! __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

03-27-2005, 06:36 PM	#4 (permalink)
f6twister Addict	The stuff above are all good ideas but are all missing one thing.....talk to her about it. My wife and I have always talked about what we want during sex and we have both tried things the other has requested. Communication is the basic essential for getting anywhere in a relationship. __________________ A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

03-28-2005, 03:01 PM	#6 (permalink)
Devoid Psycho Location: Floating amongst the ether	I'll echo previous comments here. Open communication is the most important thing, not only for this, but for marriage in general. Keeping secrets, or just not talking about things is terrible. Tell her how you're feeling, see what she thinks about it, then go from there. And good luck. __________________ We're here to steal your pornography, and sodomize our vast imaginations. - Inignot

03-29-2005, 03:25 AM	#7 (permalink)
desal75 Psycho Location: Western New York	Maybe next time you are giving her oral start doing masturbating a little bit just to get her used to the idea that you do it and are comfortable in front of her. That way she will be a little distracted and may even find it a turn on at that ultra erotic time. Just a thought __________________ The Man in Black fled across the desert and the Gunslinger followed.

03-27-2005, 02:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
helipilot Upright	My wife and I mutually masturbate quite frequently. It really turns her on to watch me jack off. She loves the visual, the sound, and getting covered in cum. We've pretty much always done it mutually, we are both pretty liberal reagarding sex and enjoy it alot. There are times when we do it by ourselves which we are o.k. with. I would just start slow and gradually introduce it in your foreplay and then progress from there. It is a great turn on to watch your partner get off while your are just a bystander. Good luck and happy whacking!

03-27-2005, 06:42 PM	#5 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	Masturbation in front of each other is pretty damn sexy, but do make sure you talk to her about it. It shouldn't be too weird- you have both had sex with each other, and so you know what each other looks like.

04-07-2005, 12:53 PM	#8 (permalink)
Batski Tilted Location: LOndon	My boyfriend used to like to pause before he fucked me, when he was between my legs, and look at my pussy. This was when he would masturbate a little. He would say what a beautiful hot cunt, and jerk off a little. In this way, he included me in his masturbation and made me feel i was the reason for it. Most women would enjoy this I think, its a compliment. start this way and over time you can slowly get to a point of wanking over her exposed cunt, and eventually ask her to join in.

04-07-2005, 01:01 PM	#9 (permalink)
flick Upright Location: Detroit, Michigan	I introduced women to it by grabbing their hand and fingers and guiding their hand onto their pleasure center (keeping my hand on theirs for comfort). It gets them used to touching themselves and doesn't quite feel like masterbation yet because you are still participating. Timing seems to be everything, I introduced it to her when she was a little "cheeky".