doncalypso

I was browsing one of the forum threads on CaribPlanet and I came across this one thread on foreplay. I think it was a very interesting subject and I figured I'd bring the question up on TFP in order to get you guys' views on the subject.


Here is the original question from a CP user named sweettrinifemale:

So what are your views on foreplay? Is it something that's absolutely necessary for sex? Is it something you love to do but don't find a must every time? Do you consider it more of a chore than pleasure? Is it a waste of time?

Let's hear it.

__________________
Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

doncalypso

To answer my own question I will paste the reply I posted on CaribPlanet yesterday concerning this question. It is a bit of a long read, but I had to get all of this off my chest.

=========

What I'm about to say may sound contrary to everything I've posted on this subject since I started as a CP member back in 2002, but bear with me.

First of all, I do believe in foreplay and I am very well aware that it is damned near impossible for a woman to get full satisfaction when it comes to sex if she has not received an adequate amount of foreplay to "warm her engine up." Also, I find sex to be much more pleasurable for me when my partner (currently my girlfriend of 3 years) enjoys it and gets an orgasm because no matter what a man does and how lousy the sex may be, the male body is biologically wired to have an orgasm with ejaculation so a man will eventually cum 99.999% of the time unless there is a medical problem.

This being said, I must admit that there are often times when I just do not feel like taking all the damned time necessary to put a woman in the mood because I'm either too horny to hold back for that long or else too tired to be able to provide 20 to 30 minutes of foreplay and another 20 minutes to an hour of penetration on top of that. When I've been up since 5:00 am and have not had a break all day, I am definitely not in the mood to go try to spend 30 minutes on foreplay for my girlfriend at 10:00 or 11:00 pm while fighting fatigue---in fact, the thought of all that foreplay becomes a major turnoff at this point. If I happen to be horny this late at night, all I want is to bust a nut and collapse because I'm too drained to do anything else.

Call me selfish or whatever you might have it, but I think that women should take more responsibility to get themselves aroused when they want sex and they know their man is too tired to give them both the foreplay and the penetration necessary to achive orgasm. If a woman is horny and she knows her partner is tired, she ought to take the time to manually stimulate herself to a point where she either reaches orgasm or is very close before turning to him for penetration; if she does this she will not only be able to reach climax quickly as soon as he starts penetrating her, but she will also be able to enjoy his orgasm as well and he will not feel pressured to perform and fight his fatigue at the same time.
Hours upon hours of foreplay may be all good in Harlequin novels, but in reality no man is willing to spend that much time on foreplay when he's super horny and wants to get his rocks off.

And finally here's my message to the women concerning foreplay and sexual stimulation:
Ladies... If a man doesn't take the necessary time to stimulate you and get you hot and wet it's not because he doesn't love you or doesn't care. You shouldn't assume that a man will intuitively know what pleases a woman if he really cares because that is just not true. The reality of the matter is that you ought to take more responsibility for your own pleasure. When you're on top and riding the dick, reach down and play with your clit, damnit!!! When he's hittin' it doggie-style and you want to get that extra "umph" going for you, reach between your legs and stroke the damned clit, damnit!!! Don't just expect to lie there like a dead dog and put the entire responsibility for your pleasure in a man's hands because that is an immature and unrealistic expectation.

And in closing I have this to say. If you really want a man to last longer during sex, don't just tease him for hours and get disappointed that he busts a nut fast... Suck his dick until he busts his first nut and then suck him some more until he's hard again. Trust me, we can stay erect much longer after we've gotten the first ejeculation out of the way.


Thank you for your attention, and I hope this was not too long or dry of a read.

==========

__________________
Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

Nancy

Absolutely not IMO. I like foreplay but Loverboy and I rarely do it. We usually go straight to the business

__________________
I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy.
I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

absorbentishe

I love it, and could go without sex if done right. I love to give to my wife, and if she returned the favor, I'd be in heaven. Every now and then she will, but that's another story. When she or I just want a quickie, I feel something is left out, because I like it so much.

vox_rox

My favourite experience of all time was a couple of hours of foreplay without ever having intercourse. In fact, my girlfriend at the time came three times, and I came just once right near the end, and it was the most fun, the most erotic, and the most sensually pleasing two hours of my life.

Foreplay rocks.

Peace,

Pierre

__________________
---
There is no such thing as strong coffee - only weak people.
---

superiorrain

Its one of the best things that you can do, for both (all - never know with you guys) involved. It's an absolute must and well worth the time and effort. The kissing the stroking and touching just allows the sexual tension build up. Just like a good movie.

__________________
"The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible." - Arthur C. Clarke

lunchbox

I love doing the foreplay, it really gets the girl into a different state of horniness than she realizes sometimes. for guys who don't have the endurance, it can be a great tool make up for your 'short comings' by being great at foreplay and women will often see you as *better* than guys who go on stamina alone. I love foreplay and its essential to sex. I wouldn't want to replace sex entirely with it, but its definitely a keystone to sex.

__________________
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

-Douglas Adams

Brooke

Call me odd - but I think that if the man is THAT tired, the woman turning to him in need can be a bit understanding and take care of business herself. If the guy is right there, him noticing that might motivate him out of tiredness really quickly. If he is truely exhausted - more can be done in the morning. I can tell you I would convert to early riser if I had something to look forward to

__________________
And so its over
Your fantasy life is finally at an end
And the world above is still a brutal place
And the story will start again

ShaniFaye

not always true....Dave has never denied me as much foreplay as I want no matter how horny he is


then you should be jacking off, then you dont have to worry about it

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Shirtninja

I really enjoy foreplay normally, but it isnt a requirement.

inharmony

My votes for foreplay:

I love foreplay and I think it's an absolute must.
I do it because I love how it turns my partner on.

__________________
"You can't shake hands with a clenched fist."
Ghandi

"Things do not change: We change"
Henry David Thoreau

martinguerre

I somewhat have to agree. Maybe your partner doesn't mind giving you the attention once in a while at the end of a long day...and that's good. Maybe at the end of a long day, you'd do the same back...and that's good.

but niether of you is oblidged to service the other with out mutuality simply becuase one partner is tired. solo-sex is not just for the singles.

__________________
For God so loved creation, that God sent God's only Son that whosoever believed should not perish, but have everlasting life.

-John 3:16

vox_rox

Just a quick note from the male perspective here. If a man says he's too tired for sex, and I mean the whole package including foreplay, oral, whatever, then he probably is too tired for any of it, and should go right to sleep.

Personally, I can't see how that can be unless that person is bored with the person he's with, because I can gaurantee that if he was that tired at 11:00 after working all day, and then his favourite television show came on, he would wach that for an hour.

So, I agree with the women above when they say just rub on off and go to sleep, beacuse with that clock-wtching attitude, you're not going to satisfy anyone but your self anyway, so forget the charades entirely. I'm sure she will have much more fun alone with her hands and toys than she will with someone pumping her asking "so, done yet, hey, are you coming, I'm tired, hurry up...?"

Peace,

Pierre

__________________
---
There is no such thing as strong coffee - only weak people.
---

doncalypso

I don't know, man.... whether my favorite TV show is on or not if it's past my bedtime and I'm beat I'm going straight to bed and crashing.


The reason for my rant is because some women will not take the time to get themselves aroused before they come to their man for sex, and furthermore, it seems that many women refuse to touch their clitoris while having sex but then get pissed that the man cums before them even though they had the opportunity to increase their chances of reaching climax to begin with.

Seems like everyone assumes that I don't believe in spending any time or effort in pleasing a woman.... that is just not true. My beef with women and foreplay is that often they want foreplay to be this very long drawn-out process and it ends up feeling more like a chore than a fun activity after an extra long day of classes and lab (or work).

__________________
Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

pinkie

We have to set aside certain "time periods" for hardcore foreplay (toys, roleplay, spankings) and sex... I mean, I like having my husband go down on me, but he does it regularly without my ever needing to ask. Foreplay is nice, but we sometimes have "quickies" too. It really depends.

There's a certain amount of fondling that happens with us usually anyway, even in public he'll have his hand up the back of my skirt... We're a very sexual couple, and if he weren’t as intimate as he is, I wouldn't enjoy it as much... If your not willing to work for it, don't expect it to be very exciting. IMO He's not the kind of guy that just wants to "fuck" anyway, so that's nice. He's always thinking about how I feel...

El_Pato

Foreplay is absolutely awesome, I love being able to get my g/f excited and ready. It's fun stuff, especially if you're wanting to have fun with it. As far as 'special tricks,' I don't really have anything unusual... tickling, licking / nibbling her ear and her neck, lots of talking (usually dirty, of course), that's all that's really standard. Always trying new stuff, though... I especially like ice water, lately

__________________
Without evil there could be no good;
so it must be good to be evil sometiiiiiiimes...