KirStang

I wrote a letter to someone who meant alot to me, but apparently it just wouldn't work out. I recently came across another message board that says that letters are no good...What do you guys think?

Pros of sending a letter/email:

1.) can tell her how u feel w/o making mistakes
2.) lets you review and make sure you mean what you say
3.) don' t have to drive up to her house or whatnot and seem like a stalker

Cons:

1.) makes you seem wussy
2.) makes you seem wussy
3.) no break up sex j/k

Well...feedback..opinions?

Carno

What are you writing the letter for? To tell them you want to break up?

It think that's kinda wussy.. I am a firm believer in telling the person face to face.

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maleficent

Dear John/Jane letters to break up with someone is just wrong. Same with email or even over the phone. Especially if there's been sex involved.

You were man enough to have sex, be man enough to be honest with the person and tell them how you feel to their face. If they cry, well they cry. But people deserve to be told to their face...

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Averett

Wait.. you want to write a letter to a girl to break up with her? Oh hell no. That's beyond fucked up. Step up, be a man and do it to her face. She deserves it.



But, letters in general from your girlfriend/boyfriend are a very good thing. Someday I hope to get some of these.

hint, hint

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Stompy

Write a letter? No. This is 2004.

Email or fax.

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I love lamp.

Carno

One time in high school this girl I was dating told her 12 year old neighbor to tell me that my girlfriend didn't want to go out anymore..

I was talking to my gf on the phone at the time and suddenly my gf hands the phone to her neighbor and her neighbor tells me. I didn't know what the hell was going on, and kinda thought it was a bad joke. Anyways, I lost a lot of respect for her after she did that..

I mean, if you've been dating someone and have been intimate, they deserve to be told face to face and honestly. Don't lie about your reasons.. Just tell her straight up.

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KirStang

Hahaha, yea, i feel the same way about the breaking up ,face to face thingy.

But no, maleficent i didn't even hit it.... Not even a kiss. Farthest i got was taking her to prom, which felt really good, but it didn't really cement our relationship.

What this letter (email) was for was to tell her that i wasn't mad at her for her not liking me... (wow that just sounds so juvenile).

She was saying how she felt like a b*tch because of how bad she made me feel (i've been feeling down around her for couple of weeks because i had wondered what was going on), of how she still had feelings for her ex (you know, so many girls i know are still suck on their ex even after long seperations), and how she hoped we could still be friends. At the time of our conversation (i finally talked to her about how i felt, in hopes that i could know what to do) i was kinda pissed, so i said, "yea maybe, but i'm going to need some time off."

This letter was to more or less tell her not to feel bad & that we could still be friends

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stonegrody

Prom? Okay, you're old enough to talk to her. Just make sure to use your "big boy" voice. If you're going to write her a letter, you might as well print it out on pink paper, fold it into a bunny rabbit and spray your mom's perfume on it. C'mon brother, step it up and talk to the girl. Your display of maturity may even change her tune

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maleficent

It's a sweet thing to do in that case - but I'm not sure I'd go with the letter -- and I don't mean this to sound as mean as I think it's going to -- I just can't find the right words - it almost comes across as needy.

She broke up with you. She hurt you. You are undestandably upset. Why should you try to make her feel better? (I'm really trying to work on being nicer and showing more compassion towards others.... it's hard

If you think you can be friends with her, that's cool, just remember your feelings too... Figure out exactly how you can be friends with her - then go from there...

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Averett

maleficent is right... Just let it go darlin. Telling her how you fell or whatever isn't going to do either of you much good. You want to be friends? Then work on that. Keep the past in the past.

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

repeater

I don't know. I think letters can go either way. If you write a wussy letter, then it's going to come across as wussy. But if you write an honest letter that expresses what you maybe couldn't in person or on the phone than I think it could do a lot of good. But since you live close to the person, it probably would have been best to just calm yourself down, think it out before hand, and tell them face to face.

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When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
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KirStang

Thanks guys, i can always appreciate the level headed, more mature advice and support from this forum.

Time to let go, move on and be strong i guess

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Mantus

Letters (e-mails) are great for discussing issues that you are either shy or uncomfortable with. Just remember that a writen word holds as much power as a spoken word.