slimcr

Yup, this is my quick story of how I just stepped out of work....wanted some cookies so I walked 100 meters to the shell station to get some.......as I enter, a text message from my girl enters my cell phone that reads something like "Hi honey, I just had some fish soup for dinner and Id really want to feel your cock inside of me right now" Inmediately, Mr Unaware of his Whereabouts decides to raise the alert level from Yellow to Orange in 1.2 seconds and Im left with a hardon (wearing very baggy gym pants) yeah those, in the Shell station....

Had to kind of kneel down as if I were looking at the products in the bottom shelf so no one could see me...

LOL that was uncomfortable......

Just thought Id share, if you have any uncomfies similar to this, share em too...

Slim (back at work, with his pack of cookies, his hot chocolate and a desire to be somewhere completely different).

MangaMonkey

Hi,
Catholic high school, waiting in line at church to recieve a blessing (I'm not Catholic so I don't recieve communion) when old Willy decides to pop up. I was about to get up and start walking and I had to kind of shift my legs and put my hand over my crotch to rearrange things, all while standing in front of pews packed with people. Phew, that was pretty embarassing .
Thanks,
Manga

macmanmike6100

how about getting up to pick up a test in a college class of about 60? that was interesting

Kadath

Similar to yours, slimcr. While at college, got a letter from my gf with a note entitled "OPEN SECOND!!" Unfolded it at my mailbox in the middle of a post-class rush, probably 50-75 people around me at the time. Filthy note. I faced the wall of boxes for a good 30 seconds, frantically thinking of unsexy things.

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it's quiet in here

new_timer

Reminds me of a story. A friend of mine in HS, a girl, was telling me how when some guys think they are being clever about moving it around without their hands to avoid embarrassment, it actually becomes more obvious. She liked to tell me when guys were adjusting themselves.

MangaMonkey

Hi,
Well, it's not so much a matter of being clever, but more a matter of thinking, "Oh, shit, what do I do now?" And the first thing that comes to mind is move the bits so it's less obvious.
Thanks,
Manga

bermuDa

next time you get a hard on in an embarrassing place, announce it to everyone, then run to your woman!

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I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

slimshaydee

is that right before you get arrested?

slimcr

bermuda are you trying to get me to run for about an hour? GRRRRRRRRRR.......

Pragma

I've been standing in line at the movies and had my girlfriend turn to me, get an evil evil grin on her face, and start whispering sexy ideas into my ear. Whups - time to adjust myself.

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Eat antimatter, Posleen-boy!

gabshu

Sometimes I stick my hands down moskie´s pants when his roommates leave the room. I love the evil panicked look he gives me. Muhaha

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Go Kool Aid. OH YEAAHH

http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2003/koolaid/

feelgood

Man, that's hilarious!

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Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

spived2

I remember in class one time I got on right out of the blue. I was wearing baggy shorts at the time and the girls next to me started giggling. Needless to say, it wasn't the happiest moment of my junior high years.

__________________

"This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V." - V

World's King

I get that turned on by fish soup as well.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

majik_6

You gotta love those little surprises...did I say little, I mean, uh...nevermind....


In high school (when such things were abso-fuckin-lutely hilarious), my friends and I used to crack jokes about that, and almost have competitions to see who could come up with the biggest bullshit story (i.e. "Yeah, that's the reason I have to wear my jeans so long....don't want anything poking out" "Eh, I just tuck it into my boots)...yeah, those were the days...when I was still immature enough to find that gut-busting...sadly, I still find it pretty funny.

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it's all about self-indulgence

bonehed1

I hated it when ole'willy stood up when I had to get my test in the front of the class room. The worst was when I was wearing my gym sweats and boxers. I had to lower my boxers to old willy in before I got up. I loved the big desks though....always good for adjusting with no one noticing.

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Stuff is Good

Guy Spenzz

in school once a guy I know was told to go to the board and write something and as he moved across the board writing he erased what was written at the bottom of the board. I laughed my ass off.

I talk to my gf between my classes and just about everytime im running to class adjusting myself

Pragma

My girlfriend does that one to me as well. We'll be sitting at her parents' house, talking to them - then they'll leave the room for a second and she'll pounce on me, stick her hand down my pants and fondle me, then pull back with a grin on her face. I nearly screamed once when her mom walked back in just after my girlfriend sat back down next to me.

Evil woman - damn I'm head over heels for her.

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Eat antimatter, Posleen-boy!

Prince

I'm probably alone with this one, but for some reason I get a hardon 9 times out of 10 when catching a ride on a bus. Well, in Europe anyway, haven't been on an American bus yet. And no, it wasn't the excitement of riding a bus, I think it was the bumpy roads and whatnot.

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Who is John Galt?

Holo

/me buys a pallet of fish soup.

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I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince

RemyLebeau97

I remember when I was over my girlfriends and we were about to leave for the movies. She was straddling me on the couch and noone was in the living room so she started grindin into me, basically giving me a little lapdance. Then her Mom and sister walks in from shopping. Her Mom and sister both set on the couch right beside us. My girlfriend still straddling me gets off and is ready to go. I grab a pillow beside me and try to cover my enormous hard on from the side. Then my girlfriend grabs my hand and tries to pull me up off the couch cause she is ready to go. Thank God the tv was on because I kept saying give me a minute and let me finish watching the rest of this show ::wiped the sweat from my forehead::

arcane

i have hard-on's often and usually don't do much to hide them

everyone knows they happen...no sense in trying to cover up one of the miracles of nature

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<Arcane> so if you banged 2000 chicks then at least one had a pen0r?

Plan9Senior

I am more impressed that your cell phone can receive such long text messages.

thespian86

I just got a hard on while reading this.... it might have been holo's breasts tho... lol

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EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

mb99usa

And I thought I was the only one to have that reaction from holo's breasts.

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So, what's your point?

It's not an attitude, it's a way of life.

Jim Kata

During the first couple of weeks at my job, my hot ass boss (at the time) would call me to her desk to show me how to do something. One day I had an URB (Unidentified Random Boner) and thought "Please don't call me to your desk", and of course she did. I got to her desk and stood next to her while she was sitting down.
If she had looked to the right I would of stabbed her eye out with my raging yogurt slinger. I quickly grabbed a couple of papers so I could "take some notes" and put them in front of my wang.
Damn, she was hot.
Who knows, it could have been a "Dear Penthouse" letter.

Pragma

Jim Kata, your story is truly an inspiration to us all who desire to have sexual relations with attractive female coworkers. Pity nothing else ever happened. Would have been quite the letter.

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Eat antimatter, Posleen-boy!

Ace_O_Spades

well, for some reason riding on the bus always gives me a hardon

so i have to get off the bus, and as i do i adjust while stepping down

works like a charm

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Feh.

wilbjammin

God damn buses! Everytime 10 out of 10 times I get that. Also in car rides sometimes, its something about the vibrations I think.

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Innominate.