some relationship/dating advice - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Amano · 09-30-2003, 05:56 PM

Here's my situation.

I've gone on three *very* successful dates with a girl who lives about 70 minutes away. At the end of our third date, we had "the talk" where we decided that the distance, although annoying, wasn't going to prevent us from continuing to date. I have two things i'd like advice on:

First, a more general question. How do I move from calling only to schedule or confirm a date, to calling more often to just talk with her? We always have wonderful conversations when we're out together, or when we're on the phone, but our phone calls so far have always had some purpose, like to schedule or confirm something, and just "happened" to have other conversation as well. How do I move from that to calling just for the sake of talking to her?

Second, a more specific/situational question. I called her Sunday late evening, (we had gone out the Saturday evening before), but it was a bad time (big paper due that Monday she hadn't started on), and she couldn't talk for long. We ended the conversation on the note that the next evening, she'd be pretty free the rest of the week to call. It's late Tuesday evening (two days after she said she'd call), and she hasnt called since. How long do I wait before I call her? Or do I not call her again at all? This would be the first time where she has to make the decision to call, because all other phone coversations have been either from me calling, or her directly returning a missed call (I don't know if that makes any sense).

I find it hard to believe that she would all of a sudden not be interested in me anymore. She's given me tons of signals whenever we're out, along with just coming out and saying multiple times that she really likes me. Yet, I still get paranoid. :-(

Any ideas?

Craven Morehead · 09-30-2003, 06:02 PM

Just call her. Say hi, can you talk? And jump in.

skysooner · 10-01-2003, 07:22 PM

No need to worry about it. Some girls play the game where they want you to call them. My sister-in-law landed her husband by using things she learned from the book "The Rules" where she made him want her more. I always play it straight with the person I am dating as I am that way and expect them to be to. Call and don't play games. If she likes you for you, it will work.

Harshaw · 10-01-2003, 07:34 PM

I would thing calling just because you wanted to talk to the other person would be viewed as sweet or romantic or something. Just call, say hi.
Depending on how you both feel about talking over the internet, take up a card game and play it on yahoo.

**Hey, I'm crazy now, how about that**

analog · 10-01-2003, 08:16 PM

People forget, people get busy, it happens. Just give her a call and let her know you miss talking to her. Don't make it an issue.

As for the calling just to chat, just... call and ask what's up. If she says, "ah, not much" or something like that, then YOU start talking. Most normal girls appreciate a guy who just calls to say hi and talk. Just keep in mind that sometimes people are busy and can't just chat for long. Good luck to ya!

09-30-2003, 05:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
Amano Insane	some relationship/dating advice Here's my situation. I've gone on three very successful dates with a girl who lives about 70 minutes away. At the end of our third date, we had "the talk" where we decided that the distance, although annoying, wasn't going to prevent us from continuing to date. I have two things i'd like advice on: First, a more general question. How do I move from calling only to schedule or confirm a date, to calling more often to just talk with her? We always have wonderful conversations when we're out together, or when we're on the phone, but our phone calls so far have always had some purpose, like to schedule or confirm something, and just "happened" to have other conversation as well. How do I move from that to calling just for the sake of talking to her? Second, a more specific/situational question. I called her Sunday late evening, (we had gone out the Saturday evening before), but it was a bad time (big paper due that Monday she hadn't started on), and she couldn't talk for long. We ended the conversation on the note that the next evening, she'd be pretty free the rest of the week to call. It's late Tuesday evening (two days after she said she'd call), and she hasnt called since. How long do I wait before I call her? Or do I not call her again at all? This would be the first time where she has to make the decision to call, because all other phone coversations have been either from me calling, or her directly returning a missed call (I don't know if that makes any sense). I find it hard to believe that she would all of a sudden not be interested in me anymore. She's given me tons of signals whenever we're out, along with just coming out and saying multiple times that she really likes me. Yet, I still get paranoid. :-( Any ideas?

10-01-2003, 07:34 PM	#4 (permalink)
Harshaw Is mad at you. Location: Bored in Sacramento	I would thing calling just because you wanted to talk to the other person would be viewed as sweet or romantic or something. Just call, say hi. Depending on how you both feel about talking over the internet, take up a card game and play it on yahoo. Hey, I'm crazy now, how about that __________________ This too shall pass.

09-30-2003, 06:02 PM	#2 (permalink)
Craven Morehead Custom User Title	Just call her. Say hi, can you talk? And jump in.

10-01-2003, 07:22 PM	#3 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	No need to worry about it. Some girls play the game where they want you to call them. My sister-in-law landed her husband by using things she learned from the book "The Rules" where she made him want her more. I always play it straight with the person I am dating as I am that way and expect them to be to. Call and don't play games. If she likes you for you, it will work.

10-01-2003, 08:16 PM	#5 (permalink)
analog Banned	People forget, people get busy, it happens. Just give her a call and let her know you miss talking to her. Don't make it an issue. As for the calling just to chat, just... call and ask what's up. If she says, "ah, not much" or something like that, then YOU start talking. Most normal girls appreciate a guy who just calls to say hi and talk. Just keep in mind that sometimes people are busy and can't just chat for long. Good luck to ya!