huzzah! freud was smart, but he had... issues... of his own

Pretty tame in comparison to some of the stories, but here's mine: My second wife would squirt (female ejaculate) whenever I went down on her, it is by far the coolest experience I have ever had. Unfortunately I have never met a woman since her that has been able to orgasm like she did :(

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...threadid=17786
=)

I'd love to see the thread of 'strange people we've slept with". I guess I'm not lucky enough to have any bizarro stories.

Hzhahahahaha, that's fuckin great :D

I bet 99% of those stories start with, "Well, I had been drinking alot..."

:D

I don't know why I posted that. It's not really funny.

The "Blues is Better than Sex" story was hilarous

Not very interesting, but i gotta kick out of it.

My family and I were on vacation and my girlfriend was with us. My parents had gone to the pool and her and I were left to our own devices in the hotel room. So I started going down on her, and she in normal fashion was getting kinda loud, and soon enough I brought her to a rather loud climax and she kinda stumbled to the bathroom, I decided to get a drink during this time. It was a two room suite and I went into the living room area to find my dad sitting there, he looks at me and says "Good Man".

It was sorta surreal, and I found it fun.

a fisting seminar?

maybe I need to get out more.

I had known this girl for quite a few years and eventually we hooked up.

Now, she had this hideous bedspread and matching curtains in her apartment's bedroom and everytime I had come to visit I had been buggin her about it. She said that her Mom bought it for her and Mom would be offended if she changed it.

So one afternoon, I got her bent over the end of the bed and we're doin' it like on the discovery channel. I'm not sure why, but I was in kind of a goofy mood and when it came time to finish up, I pulled out and blasted the curtains. Then I grabbed them and wiped off my dick. Once she realized what I had done, she rolled over on the bed and almost died laughing while I stood there with this retarded grin on my face.

Chicks dig a sense of humor.

The next day she went and bought a different bedspread/curtains.

The end.

Ya know, this whole thread smacks of lowbrow.com. =)

Dude that is a total "zombie mask"!! Good job!

LOL, funny stuff... GOOD MAN!...

oh and very ummm.... effective... zipperhead.

speaking of lowbrow.. I added mine to that site.. heh

Re: Most Bizarre Orgasm You've Witnessed
 

that could quite possibly be the best story i ever heard!

seminar on vaginal fisting?

where do those take place and when is the next one, cos i wanna go :D

Thats pretty bizarre! When my wife cums she starts shaking & quivering & her body starts to tighten and spasm! WOO HOO!

This underlines the fact that pussy farts are the pussy's ability to change shape and volume. A muscular woman that exercises that can give great pleasure to a penis, which can take the sqeezing. But will likely break bones of fingers or hands. Be careful out there!

This reminds me of that James Bond film where the evil woman can kill by sqeezing lovers with her legs. What was that called?

Goldeneye.

Mine, again, is pretty tame. In college, dating a girl for a year. She was sitting in my lap in my room, and I fingered her to an orgasm, and she passed out hard on the orgasm. Completely limp for about 10 seconds, which was the longest 10 seconds of my life (oh god, is she dead? how do I explain this one?) up to that point.

When she came to, however, she was very grateful :cool:.

Hahaha, all these are fucking great stories! :)

I heard about it from a guy involved in the BDSM community here. I don't actually know the best place to find out about these kinds of things (otherwise I would've gone to more), but I'd check with sex, toys, and/or BDSM clubs. If they don't have a bulletin board of events, they could probably tell you where to go to find out.
For instance, the store Good Vibrations often have their own classes and such: http://www.goodvibes.com/cgi-bin/sgd...nal/index.html

Dude that made me laugh so frickin' hard!!!

I cry after orgasms a lot. Sometimes not even after an orgasm, just after some intense sex. I think it's because I'm so exausted. Also my stomach muscles are the ones that tighten the most and that just leads to weeping. Strange huh? Poor Spinach_Indeed always thinks something's wrong.

Damn, I wish I could have a sponaneous orgasm like that girl did at the concert. And passing out after one seems so cool. I wonder if that is a one time thing or not.

you and me both...geez

and i'll go ahead and give props to the entire thread...i laughed ALOT

Well, my wife occasionally does the orgasm cry thing as well, which was very weird the first time, but now I consider it a form of applause. So, since you are lined up on that, you have a chance at the passing out. She only did that once, however.

Oh, a seminar on vaginal fisting, that's where you saw it you say? a seminar on vaginal fisting. One of those seminars people make when they want to educate people on vaginal fisting. Of course, just a god-old seminar on VAGINA FISTING.

A SEMINAR ON VAGINAL FISTING WHAT THE

The most bizarre orgasm i've ever seen was 1 week ago when i was goin down on my gf and after about 10min or so i tried to think of somethin to make her cum faster so i could go to go sleep(i was tired). I couldn't think of anything right away but then i got an idea. So i reached over and gribed my coke and got an ice cube out of it and put it against my girls lowers lips. As soon as i did that i thought theres was a fuckin horse in the room cause of all the nosies she was making and on top of that she kicked me in my head. At 1st i thought i had fucked up and hurt her then she curled up and started to take deep breaths, i was so scared i thought i had seriously hurt her. Then i just kept on asking her if she was ok then she said " HOW THE HELL DID U DO THAT" i was glad she wasnt hurt but i didnt tell her how i did it though.

That is seriously one of the funniest things ive heard in a while... Cant say Ive ever been kicked in the head while going down on someone...

Im sure it was by accident. OH and sry for that typo....

I used to be able to make my wife (then girlfriend) pass out from oral sex. She'd be out for 10 seconds or so. I've been trying my damnedest lately, but, have been unable to get her to pass out. She's also a face contorter and leg lock champ. God, I love THAT woman! :thumbsup:

holy shit. this is the funniest thread i think i've ever read.

my two cents...

when i was with my ex, i would go down on her. as it is, she moves around a lot from it, but when she gets ready to orgasm, her legs clamp tight as all fuckin hell on my head, and then she starts bucking in the air, sending my head and half my body flailing all over the place as she tosses me around. i almost got thrown off the bed one time, and i'm sure it's almost caused neck injury several times. The squeeze it so hard, i couldn't remove my head if i wanted to.

Analog, you might want to invest in one of those neck brace devices the NASCAR guys use. Sounds dangerous, but it must be one hell of a ride! :lol:

Word.

You have got to be the first successful angry dragon story Ive ever heard.

hilarious!
 

That is awesome. It's great when you can see this unexpected side of your parents!!! Obscure bonding moment or something.

weird man!!

Not sure if this is bizzare or just kind of funny. My girlfriend in high school was kind of a fuck machine. It didn't matter where we were if she was horny, we had sex. That lead to a lot of almost getting caught. Another factor in our spontanious sex was the fact that her bedroom had no door and only half a wall. When you came upstairs it just kind of opened to her room. We were smart enough to not get naked and we had pretty much mastered the fully clothed fuck (she owned a LOT of loose fitting shorts). One day she was on top of me and right on the verge of orgasm when her moms head appeared over the little half wall and goes "what are you doing?". My girlfriend then tries to explain why she's straddling me, why both of us are sweating and why her entire body is shaking.

i had an ex who whenever she got close to /or orgasmed.....her legs would go numb for about 20 minutes!!!.....there were times in the shower.....well she would just fall on to the ground....and wouldn't be able to walk without being helped!!!! Kinda freaked me out at first....but it's a good way to tell if she was faking or not!

MadProphet: LOL!!! That's one explanation I'd like to hear! Worst that happened to me was my girlfriend pushed me into her closet when her mom came home.

This IS one of the coolest and funniest threads I have read on the forum so far.

weird man