Xerxys

Well, after this thread and watching the British drama Secret Diary of a call girl episode 5 of season 2 (I think it is an awesome drama).., but it led me to thinking, what if I were in Alex's shoes?

In the show, The girl, Hannah, who's call name is Belle de Jour is a high end call girl who has an EXCITING life and makes TONS of money (I understand it's fiction but a guy's gotta dream) falls in love. This of course does not work for the show and they can the dude --his name is Alex BTW, for .., irreconcilable reasons.

But would you date a hooker though? A former hooker? Or a stripper? A lady that's entirely enmeshed in the sex industry as completely as a pornographic actress? Or a ... man?

I wouldn't date a hooker/escort/prostitute, whatever. And whats funny is I actually know one in person. I have the stunted morals of a born again Presbyterian. Unfortunately, reality and fantasy simply DON'T mix. After getting tested, a former hooker, maybe. Stripper I'm alright with. Porn-star, YES! Actually, I don't know. Because I've never met one. I don't know any in person.

What about you?

rahl

I dated a cocktail waitress/occasional dancer for a few months in college. Well it was actually more of a boot call situation, but it was fun....ah college

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Charlatan

I don't think I would have a problem with the profession if it was just that. I have found that frequently these sort of professions end up being lifestyle choices. I might have more of an issue with that, depending on what lifestyle choices comes to mean (ie drug abuse, etc.).

In the end, I don't see a lot of difference, strictly speaking, between a model and a woman that sells her sex.

(note: I am talking about a woman who runs her own business rather than someone being exploited by a pimp).

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Wes Mantooth

I have absolutely NO problem with prostitution and in fact think it should be legal (topic for another thread though I suppose), however I'm not sure I'd really want to date one. I just can't imagine it working out well and I'm not really sure why. I'm not really the jealous type, I've been in open relationships, I dated a stripper once and honestly neither bothered me.

I guess I could deal with a casual relationship as long as she used protection and was tested often. But I think in the end a serious relationship would just fall apart. Being sloppy 14ths at end of the day would just become a turn off and I think I'd feel like I was in constant competition with her clients...but I don't know, the right girl with the right frame of mind about the profession and maybe it would work.

Good thread.

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Punk.of.Ages

No, sir. No strippers, hookers, or porn stars for me...

These women objectify themselves for a living. If I want an object, I'll get a fleshlight...

I know this seems callous, and maybe even a bit strange out of me, but I just can't see it any other way.

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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Manic_Skafe

So long as it's just a job then I don't really care. I've got a few friends with curious pasts, dated a few women who've worked in the sex industry and I'm currently dating a dominatrix and if there's anything I've found, it's that the job says much less about the person than you'd assume. Largely, they were all quite desensitized to it all and anything but enmeshed as the clientele typically were pretty fucking far from desirable. It's all mechanics just like every other job but with a pinch more theatrics and a much higher payout.

I don't think I could be serious with a woman that treat sher vagina like a turnstile but I realize that I'm not in any position to judge as I've been a whore my entire life and I've never been paid for it.

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"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

Milnoc

She named herself after Catherine Deneuve's title character in the movie "Belle de Jour?"

(Translation:" Daytime Beauty")

Xerxys

^^ Yep ... that she did.

Glory's Sun

I've dated a couple strippers in the past. They were nice girls. They weren't just a piece of ass when they left the club. They were real people with real lives and issues just like the rest of us. The reasons for dancing were varied, but of the 3 I dated, they've all left the profession and are now white collar professionals with college degrees. It doesn't always work out that way, but just because they're stripping doesn't make them whores.

As far as a prostitute, I dunno..that's a harder one to come to terms with merely for the disease factor. If they're clean and they have no interest in it anymore, then I probably could have dated one.

Now I want to hear more about Manic's love affair with the Dominatrix

LoganSnake

I don't think I would. I'd feel dirty dating somebody who prostituted her body for a living. It seems repulsive to me.

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Cimarron29414

I am honestly surprised by your answer. I didn't expect it from you. Not bad or good, just unexpected.

Personally, I don't think I could. Generally, it's because of the lifestyle more than the actually profession. Late nights, drugs, risk, police, etc. The potential for drama is too high. I want my mate to bring calming fun into my life, if that makes sense. If they are former whatevers, then it would depend on some other factors, how long out of the industry, disease free, etc. I think it would be wild to hear the stories.

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Iliftrocks

I don't know for sure, but I think it would be too much for me to date an ex-hooker. Stripper maybe. I can imagine decent people who got caught up in hooking, then quit to continue being decent, but it'd probably still bother me.

Honestly, I'm just too fragile emotionally to deal with these things

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World's King

I don't much give a shit. I'm most likely not gonna be with the girl for life. If I'm just looking to stick my dick in something... cool.

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RangerJoe

No, I would not date someone that was currently a gigolo, stripper, whore, whatever. I have a son and would not want him to grow up becoming one, so I myself wouldn't date someone like that. I'd prefer someone with a job that had less drama. More of a professional job. Then again, I've always been like that. Also, I'm the jealous type. A silent jealous type, but jealous nonetheless. I think it would tear me up knowing that another girl had her grubby paws all over my man. No thank you.

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You know what, there are days when I only open my mouth to change feet, and yet I still manage not to be as busted as this. - Daniel

mixedmedia

It would depend entirely on the person. I've no reason to believe that every accountant is datable. Why would I assume that every prostitute or porn actor or stripper is not?

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

LoganSnake

I don't know. Maybe the amount of cocks she's taken in has something to do with it.

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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

mixedmedia

so if she is otherwise mentally healthy and disease-free, simply the number of cocks is the dealbreaker?

I can more easily understand an aversion to someone who is currently in a profession that involves intercourse on a regular basis, that could be a challenge to anyone's patience, but not so much to someone who is out of the profession based solely on the fact that they had 'too many cocks.'

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Manic_Skafe

Maybe it's not what you meant but I can't help but to find what's implied here as deeply offensive.

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"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

LoganSnake

Couple that with the fact that she's sold her body to the owners of said cocks and you have a person with whom I would not be able to get past The Past™ and enjoy the future.

Then again, I haven't met any former hookers. I'll let you know if I feel any differently when I get acquainted with some.

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Xerxys

WTF does that even mean? I chalk this up to one of those bullshit phrases that are supposed to stigmatize certain non-methodist activities and/or professions. Now if you said she "rented" her body then that might make some sense but ... meh?

Lindy

I was a stripper for a couple of years. I objectified myself, and made an incredible amount of money! I did it mostly for the money, but also ...just because I could. And I liked the attention. I liked looking out and seeing the guys with their hands in their pants and knowing it was me that was on their minds. And because I didn't really know what else I wanted to do. I was the stripper that hardly drank, didn't do drugs, and went to church on Sunday. I was an object, an expensive object, but not a whore. Enjoy the fleshlight.

You are describing me perfectly, guccilvr. In my time as a dancer I went out with about a dozen of my "fans." (I ended up having sex with maybe two or three.) Sometimes on a real date, sometimes just out for breakfast after the club closed. I told one guy who asked me out on Saturday night that I'd be at First Christian Church for the 11:00 service the next morning, and he actually showed up! Some guys (I think) are actually kind of intimidated by strippers, and really don't know what to expect. Some are in the titti bar looking for sex, (but it's not a very good pickup place, right guys?) but most are just lonely and/or bored. You know what I hated most about it??? The smoke.

Lindy

Punk.of.Ages

You drew the whore conclusion, not me, but that's an entirely different conversation, anyhow...

I mean no offense to any strippers, porn stars, or prostitutes here on the site. Perhaps, I should have stated my opinion without the fleshlight comparison, but I've never really been one to sugar coat my opinions...

I'm not here to judge anybody, but I could never respect a woman that is in, or has been in the sex industry at the level required for a relationship to even be an option, let alone work out in the long run. It's really just a personal belief and preference.

I don't believe you are what you do, but I certainly believe what you do says a lot about who you are.

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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

mixedmedia

so what does being in a 'sex profession' say about who you are exactly?

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Manic_Skafe

Where are all the TFP ladies in this discussion?

I can agree with that but then again, I've made the world a much worse off place with some of the jobs I've held than any trick turnin' prostitute could ever manage. Hell, I've pushed papers in an industry that paid me in blood money - literally.

I really don't see what the big deal is here.

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"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

LordEden

I had a good female friend a few years ago (she moved and we drifted apart) that was a call girl for a year or two. She was a great girl (a bit of a gyspy) that didn't really get hung up on the whole "sex is bad" thing. She knew it was just a job and wasn't banging a bunch of guys a night. She said she usually only turned a trick or two a night. I didn't really ask her to much about it, but I do know she didn't do it full time, she worked as a CNA as a full time job.

She didn't do it any when I first met her or during the years I knew her. She was clean (as in disease free) and didn't let her pass hold her back. As for dating her? I would have, but then she was a lesbian and in a long-term relationship with a girl that could bench press me.

Now, this should be a case-by-case answer, there is no "blanket" answer on this one. I would have dated HER, but not every hooker out there. It's more of, yes I could get past the past, but it's only because of her personality and the way she handled it. I don't really care what you did in the past, as long as it's the past. If it affects the present, then yes I would have a problem with it.

BTW, she was a HOT little thing. Shorter than me (no she was not a hobbit hooker), waist length curly blond hair, tight body. Tough as nails and had a great personality to boot. She just liked eating cardboard more than playing with the sausage.

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Punk.of.Ages

Frankly, to me, selling your body for a living implies that you don't respect yourself enough for me to respect you enough to have an intimate relationship with you.

I'm not saying people in the sex industry are bad people. I'm just saying they're not the type of people I could ever work out a relationship with.

Would you date a hitman? It's just business...

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Xerxys

^^ Yeah, wetwork and the sex industry are completely the same thing.

Punk.of.Ages

You've missed the point...

My point is everyone draws their line somewhere. I draw mine here and I've stated my reasons why. Perhaps some see me as ignorant or closed minded, but I'm of the persuasion that that's a hard call when dealing with personal beliefs and preference.

Should I apologize for answering your question? Is that my easy way out here?

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

LordEden

Punk, I sold myself for sex once... you will still date me right? I love it when you cuddle with me?

*****

Punk has made a good point, we all have lines that we do not cross. You can't sit here here and say "You are wrong to have that line, THIS is MY line, your line should be HERE." Punk wouldn't and that's his choice. You can't bash someone for having their own set of morals.

.... I can't believe I just fucking typed that in reference to POA.

Wow.

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Xerxys

I take offense to you comparing the job of an assassin and that of a sex worker. A sex worker might give you herpes but an assassin will most DEFINITELY kill you.

Apples and oranges.

You may have an opinion and that is alright but it's based on a false premise. I too said i wouldn't date a working prostitute and Iliftrocks said it best on behalf of himself, me AND you P.o.A.

By comparing a victimless activity to one that DEFINITELY has victims is tasteless and projecting of your own shortcomings to someone else.

Punk.of.Ages

I didn't say that a prostitute is the same as a hitman. I was simply comparing one moral to another. Certain people don't have sex for a living because it's against their morals, other people don't kill people because it's against their morals. Where you draw that line is up to you...

I take offense to you telling me I have shortcomings because of where I draw my morals.

All this aside, I do have one shortcoming at this point in time: I'm steadily getting drunker. Therefore, I leave this thread for tonight, but, hey, feel free to attack my morals some more. I'll get to it tomorrow.

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Xerxys

I understand that you were making a comparison and my point was that the professions were not analogous.

I am also not attacking your morals. Your posts inferred that you would not date her because her career choice was not something you stood for. What I am trying to say is; The reason you would not date her is not because of what SHE has done wrong, but because YOU have issues with it. Not her.

mixedmedia

I understand your reasoning, but comparing someone who 'sold their body' for a living (which is an inaccurate, emotionally charged description) to someone who kills (or has killed) for any reason, financial or not, I find to be an inapt comparison. It might be more appropriate to use religion or political persuasion as a comparison.

---------- Post added at 10:19 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:13 AM ----------

but I see that point has already been addressed.

My ultimate point is, that the charged reactions here to people who do 'sex work' are emotional and blown way out of proportion. Which is a little alarming, considering the group of people having this discussion. Well, not alarming, but disappointing.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

LoganSnake

So how would that change the answer? Yeah, I have an issue with it. Does that mean that I should think really hard about how my way of thinking is wrong? Fuck no, I won't do that. I wouldn't be comfortable dating somebody like that, period. Why should I have to defend my stance?

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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

mixedmedia

no one should really have to defend their stance...we're just talking here and ultimately it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. it's speculation for the most part.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Lady Bear Cub

Stripper maybe. Prostitute hell no. Porn star... I'm afraid of freakishly gigantic cock, so no.

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But I very seldom follow it,
Will I ever learn to do the things I should?"

Xerxys

It's not for you. That is fine. Everyone has preferences. Chocolate vs Vanilla. I'm not trying to make you love pretty woman.

What it is, is, you prefer chocolate to vanilla. That doesn't make vanilla wrong.

LoganSnake

Why do you have the need to defend the "profession"?

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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

Punk.of.Ages

Perhaps it wasn't the greatest comparison, but it still illustrates my point: Everyone draws their line somewhere, and this is where I draw mine.

I don't think "Selling your body" is an inaccurate or emotionally charged description. Strippers, hookers, and porn stars are all paid for their bodies. It's that simple...

---------- Post added at 03:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:49 PM ----------

I never said I wouldn't date someone in the sex industry because it's wrong to be in the sex industry. My reasons are exactly that: My reasons.

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Lindy

Anyone who does physical labor "sells their body." Like a brick layer, stoop laborer, or a professional football or hockey player.

Indeed, why is the 'sold their body' sobriequet applied exclusively to women? What about Evander Holyfield or Mike Tyson?
Sheesh, talk about selling your body.

Lindy