Dating vs Relationships
 

"The point of dating is NOT to end up in a relationship -- the point of dating is to get laid."


this was advice dispensed on an open forum.


I did not have this point of view about dating, but I suppose it makes more sense with the behavior I experienced with certain people in my past....


I feel like I just got hit in the face by a 2x4


is the difference that distinct? because with my upbringing, I thought dating was part of the relationship, not a separate thing.

I guess it goes to show, there are many different viewpoints out there.

what's yours?

I feel somewhat the same. I was brought up to see dating as part of the process, but from my dating experience it seems like it really wasn't; unless i was doing it wrong. i mean, sure i'd love to get laid, but i'd rather a lasting relationship where it's more likely i'll get laid on a regular basis. :D

Some people date to find a partner. Some people date to get laid. I would say that within a few minutes of being on the date, a person has decided whether they want to get laid, or if the other is a potential partner, or even neither. But yes, some people outright go on dates with no visions of the future, just looking to score. I don't think that's the majority, at least not where I'm from. If it's like that in the States, that's got to be tough to handle. So if you want to find a potential relationship partner, what do you do, if not go on a date first? Seems crazy.

Dating has always been a way to dip a toe in the relationship pool; sometimes it's tepid, sometimes it's icy cold. Because in the end, I date to end up with someone.

I think others date for the sake of dating but it's not for me.

...the answer can be found in the evolution of generational semantics (i just made that up...lol...whatever it is, it sounds good to me). I don't know if that accurately expresses what i'm going to say but here goes...

...the last generation "dated" and meant that whoever does the asking out pays for the planned evening...it may or may not end up with sex. The now generation "hangs out" for just-friends sake. In between there is us....floundering for a simple and clear definition. Those definitions change over time like the word "sucks" or "screwed".

...i'm old fashioned (sometimes not...give or take) so i'm still using "dates" to mean an engagement to go out with someone with whom you have a romantic interest. and "hanging out" is just friends

I don't date a girl just to fuck her. I fuck a girl just to fuck her. I date her to figure out if I like her enough to pursue a relationship.

I guess I'd say the difference is a matter of commitment. I may casually date a few women, but, if any of them ever goes into relationship status, it becomes just her and I...

Perhaps this is the definition that a friend of mine had when she responded horrified to me asking if she wanted to go on a double-date.

Never heard this definition. Dating for me was more about getting to know a person and evaluating if I am interested in pursuing a relationship, whether it be permanent or long-term.

Wait... you're serious?

How the hell does anybody, especially a guy, go for 2X years and not see this philosophy in action?

It's practically written into the genetic code of some male individuals.

Hanging out at TFP for 48 minutes reveals a thread about this philosophy.

You've posted in these types of threads before.

...

Dating and relationships... they're just words. Symbols propped up by our personal agendas.

I go out on a date to meet my next wife. You go out on a date to find a warm hole to fill.

It's still dating.

Yeah, dating is whatever you make of it. Even if we settle on a definition HERE, the rest of the world will still be making up its own meaning.

My own experience matches up with the OP. However, I'd like to see more dating leading up to a relationship thing. Unfortunately the relationship girls want to jump right into a relationship and the dating girls never want a relationship. Both end up badly.

I feel that dating is like a job interview, just to figure out if there is reason to start a meaningful relationship, but dating and relationship are just words that can be interpreted in any way. Its commitment we are really talking about. If you have the commitment to be in a real relationship with just one person.

Dating can either be the part before the "relationship", or it can be just fun. In which case, I prefer to call it "dating around".

In any case, of course it *can* lead to a relationship. No one goes from the first date into a serious commitment. Dating is the fun bit. :D