Infinite_Loser

I searched and didn't see a thread on this, so forgive me if this has been asked before.

Why do females generally get offended if they catch you staring at their breasts? Now, I know that the typical female response will be something along the lines of "Because it's disrespectful", but I've always felt that if you're wearing a low cut top which your breasts are practically falling out of that it would be impolite not to stare as, obviously, that was your intended purpose.

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surferlove007

Well...if I'm talking to you I prefer to have eye contact. When your eye contact is on my breast then I feel like you're not listening to what I have to say.

If you wear a low-cut shirt it's not always an invitation to stare, maybe we just like the shirt because it looks flattering on us.

However for those women who are blessed with large boobs, and decide to let them dangle from their shirts then I suppose they're wanting the attention from men.
Also I think the environment in which the woman is and her outfit have an effect on if the man is staring or not...if a woman is at work with a nice blouse and a suit on then no I would not look at her rack.
But if she's alone in a bar or at a club and smelling like sex (and I guess looking like it too) then it seems to be more acceptable.

So that's my idea on the subject.
I feel uncomfortable when I'm at work and I notice people staring at my boobs because well..I'm at work, I technically can't say anything because it's inappropriate.
However if I were OFF the clock I would say something.
For instance.
I lifeguard at the Tech pool, so I watch people.
I've noticed this one guy who is constantly going under the water to watch girls in the lanes next to him while they're completely oblivious. This kind of watching I find to be creepy, so men don't do that when you're swimming laps...or atleast don't make it so damn obvious.
I have seen this guy doing this on 4+ occasions when I've been guarding, I've mentioned it to my supervisor but unless the people he's gauking at say anything they can't do anything.
(sorry that came off target a bit)

But yea thats how people stare in that creepy/disrespectful way.

Otherwise a few glances are fine as long as its not just looking there and not at the woman.

mixedmedia

You don't have to be exposing cleavage for men to stare at your breasts.

Truthfully, I'm not terribly bothered by it. Sometimes it's funny. But when it happens repeatedly in an atmosphere you already feel a second class citizen in (because you are a woman) it can become downright demoralizing and exasperating.

It's polite to look a person in the eye when you talk to them. Not their shoes not their knees not their naval and not their tits.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Nisses

Lots of ladies seem to have trouble with men looking at their breasts *while* talking?

Haven't noticed that around here so far, and it seems like the OP doesn't do that either.
We like to look, but during conversation, I make regular eyecontact? I thought most people did that. Seems I have alot to learn.

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abaya

You know, if I'm wearing a flattering top, I see it as normal behavior (as long as the eyes don't keep flitting down/lingering too long). However, I have a Creepy Uncle who ALWAYS stares at my chest area, even when I'm wearing something like a snowsuit (i.e. total coverage, nothing revealing). I am thoroughly uncomfortable around him, and have communicated about this several times (mostly through my aunt), but it's like he's compulsive. I know he's actually been reprimanded at work for sexual harrassment, so it's not just me (and my girlfriends have commented on it as well, when they've visited me while he's there with my aunt). Fucking sick, if you ask me. I try to avoid being around him as much as possible.

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for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

xepherys

While you, as far as I'm concerned, somewhat sidestepped this issue in your second post, it seems blatantly contradictory to me. If you wear a low cut shirt that "look flattering", about 90% of the flattering is likely your cleavage. While I argue firmly against the sick fucks who think that dressing provocatively is an invitation to sex or rape, I do have to say that something as seemingly harmless as a boob-stare is to be expected, at least, if you wear a low-cut top that "look flattering" on you. I mean, what's the point of looking good if people don't notice?

I believe, of course, in being a better man than that. Women are not objects. At the same time, my female friends, and I have a few of them, will often make "objectifying" comments about a guys ass in tight jeans, his biceps in a cutoff or short-sleeved shirt or any other such. It irks me heavily that women, even those who would make such comments, could ever be offended by a guy staring at her breasts. To guys, those are like muscles are to girls (or whatever else you might individually like). *grumble*

Sorry to rant, it's just annoying, doubly so coupled with the "poor me, I'm a woman and treated like a second-class citizen" spiel. I really don't mean any offense, specifically to ghoastgirl or mixedmedia, but a lot of gender-based issues are such crap (from both sides of the fence). Frankly, I feel until both men and women in general can admit to their own bullshit facade, questions like this will often be raised in all seriousness.

You're a woman and you don't like your boobs stared at? Don't wear that shirt! Or, perhaps it's karma... don't stare at that guys crotch or ass or bulging muscles. You don't? Well, guess what, a large number of guys don't objectify you that way either. And a lot of your fellow women DO objectify men that way.

I won't gawk at someone in a lewd fashion, but if you wear a low-cut shirt that exemplifies your cleavage, you can fully expect that I'll do more than glance in passing. That is, after all, the purpose of such a shirt...

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mixedmedia

Well, in my defense I was referring to a real situation in my own life not some overlying feeling of being a second class citizen. Which I don't feel at all and I don't think I inferred that - I was obviously referring to "in an atmosphere you already feel a second class citizen in." And I don't wear revealing clothing there. Nor do I gawk at men's butts or muscles. I could care less about those things.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

analog

My commentary is always well received, because I base it on how "on display" they are. I react more or less, in appropriate proportion to their exposure.

If you're wearing a shirt that's cut down to the navel, you have them on display. Call it flattering, call it "empowering" or femininity... call it what you want- I will call a spade a spade... they're on display. If you're wearing a turtleneck, they are not. I just think about how relatively obvious they are and comment accordingly (if I'm inclined to comment at all).

This is not to say that staring is acceptable. Staring, no matter what you're staring at on a person, is just rude if unwelcome (once the correct rapport is established, I have been known to stare happily for seemingly endless periods of time... the key word here being "unwelcome").

Still, there have been a few times when I have gotten lost in the depths of a woman's cleavage (not while talking to her, not like I'm staring at the chest while she's speaking) and she'd look in my direction to discover I'd zoned out, eyes fixed on chest.

At that point, it's not staring because I'm "ogling and thinking about naughty things and drooling", I'm literally just *caught*... my brain just says "wow" and ceases all but life-sustaining function for a bit. I'm not consciously fixed and smacking my lips and wringing my hands and making noises...

I'm just... entranced.

It's only happened a handful of times that they were so wonderful that I was instantly lost in a pair of breasts, but my normal reaction is apologetic and explanatory. "I'm sorry... I wasn't staring... I went for a glance and I just sorta... checked out for a minute there".

I think that I come off as harmless and well-meaning, in general, helps set them at ease. I'm not saying I am harmless and well-meaning, but I come off that way. lol

mixedmedia

A candid response can do wonders for dispelling the mutual discomfort of moments like that. I've been known to come back with light-hearted responses myself if I feel like the staring is good-natured and, well, goofy. You guys do get goofy with all that, you know.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Nimetic

I'm not sure if people will ever agree on this

I personally reckon that if a woman is wearing unusually revealing clothes, she must expect some abnormal attention.

Plan9

Newsflash: Everybody loves tits. Age, gender, race... do not matter.

I was at a bar last weekend doing my infamous Crompsin zombie thing: facing forward, getting gently inebriated... when one of my completely straight female friends, Natalie, pulls on my shoulder and says this... like maybe she's just seen a dinosaur:

"Omigod, look at the rack on that one."

And it was a nice rack.

/moral

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Sultana

I think the rudeness or non-rudeness of it depends on the attitude of the stare-er.

Yesterday at work, in fact, I noticed a co-worker repeatedly glancing at my chest during our conversation. I took into consideration that A) I was wearing a somewhat form-fitting shirt, B) I was standing and he was sitting, so they were pretty much at eye level, and C) he managed to continue the flow of conversation, and I didn't get the feeling that he was focusing on them, just that he was being distracted. There was no sense of vulgarity.

I was amused, and took mercy and sat down.

If he had been vulgar, I would have been upset.

So I guess it comes down to that.

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Push-Pull

In my environment, ESPECIALLY during summer time, it seems the women go out of their way to wear tops that show "it" off. I'm the first one to admit that I have to force my eyes upwards. (A goal greatly simplified if a male partner is present.) But quite often, I sneak a downwards glance that direction, and I swear that I catch the slightest hint of a smile from some of these women when my eyes come back up. In some small way, I feel as if I've done my part in this silly game.....

Crompsin nailed it. Who doesn't like 'em?

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Willravel

GG, you can wear one of those orange wind breakers like they had on Baywatch!

abaya, oh yikes. You could use stronger language like 'incest'. That tends to scare the crap out of people.

If you must, give em a peak really quickly then move on. Unless it's your SO. Then enjoy.

TotalMILF

My favorite "admire my boobies!!!" shirt:



If a lady wears a shirt that attracts attention to her chest, she should know that guys are going to stare. Isn't that the point of wearing such a shirt? If you don't like the attention, wear turtlenecks or baggy tees. Otherwise, quit complaining!

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ShaniFaye

If I'm in a professional situation (and NO I dont mean *that* profession lol) I dont appreciate it....any other time I could care less

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surferlove007

Likewise, I believe theres a time and place and professional environments are not appropriate even if the woman is wearing a revealing top.

And yes I do understand that if we wear clothes that accentuate our figure that no matter what we want, men will stare. But it should not be so obvious or just constant eye - boob contact.

lol Windbreakers slow you down when you need to save people

*Nikki*

I don't care.

My husband and I point out boobies to each other all the time. They are there to look at!

abaya

True, true. Thing is, he's not even related to me... he's married to my aunt. He's also 18 years younger than her (and 14 years older than me, yay). The whole thing is creepy as shit. So yeah, I get a bit overreactive when older men especially are staring down my boobs (even in a frickin' turtleneck!). I go out of my way to dress in non-accentuating clothing around older men (hell, even around the high schoolers I taught, don't need 17 year old boys examining me at eye level). The only time I really let my titties loose is when I go out to a bar/club with my peers, usually with my husband... and he has every right to ogle and grab them.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Willravel

Well I'd imagine you just take it off as you jump (I was a lifeguard for a short time in HS, and I found that tearing off my jacket when jumping made me feel like Superman). It'd look really exciting. Also, it protects you from getting a sunburn. As captain whiteskin, that came in handy. Most importantly, women would stare at my face instead of my pecks, which is a similar affliction to women's, I suppose.

I saw this horrible movie called Shakespeare in Love a few years back. Gweneth Paltrow played an aristocrat named Viola De Lesseps, who was an actress in an actor's world. Women weren't allowed to act in plays, even to play the part of women. So she cross-dressed. She took some fabric and wrapped up her womanly-bits and put a shirt on over the whole thing. She went from a large A to a B down to nada. That could be a strategy employed to deter gross uncles.

Just a thought.

abaya

I saw that movie as well, and yes, in the 21st century we have something similar... the "sports bra." (a.k.a the MonoBoob)

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Daniel_

Yup.. Consider them admired. X

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Comes willowing across the sand;
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Plan9

Hmmm!

(wonders how many people have a new desktop background today)

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

xepherys

haha, her boobs have been my background a few times in the last 6 months... *grin*

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The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible...
-- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato

My Homepage

analog

...........................................................................................I'm sorry, what?

snowy

I don't mind guys checking out my chest (38C, and since I've lost 40 lbs, they look HUGE) because, well, they're so obvious. You can't miss 'em. However, there is a difference between looking and being vulgar about it--when a guy stares a little too long, or gives you the full once over--then it starts to get creepy.

Just the other day I was at my local grocery store, wearing an average shirt (probably tight but not low-cut) and this guy totally stopped to stare at my chest. I gave him a rather scathing look, and this older guy behind him doubled over laughing--I assume at the lack of class the younger guy displayed by blatantly goggling at my boobs and my equally horrified expression. Seriously, the guy came across like a twelve-year-old. Another notable creepy boob-staring incident: I got checked out by a 50-year-old electrical engineering professor! He would not stop staring at my chest even though it was a good thirty feet away, across a bar. Jesus Christ. You'd think they'd never seen breasts before.

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monkey baby

Ok, I understand that people might get that impression, but speaking as one who has been "blessed" (36 DDD or F) I would like to clear something up. Yes, there are times when we will wear a top for that reason, but most often they just pop out because they are BIG. It is not a blessing so much, you have backaches, pain in your pectoral muscles, problems finding cute tops that DON'T make you look like an attention seeking whore. Not to mention that (if you have large breasts but are smaller around the back) it is very difficult to even find a proper fitting bra. I would have gotten a reduction if my insurance would have covered it, plus my boyfriend loves them. So he has to give me back rubs in exchange.

Other than that, I have become somewhat accustom to the staring especially because I am short (5'2") and almost everyone has a clear view down my shirt. I do agree that there are times when I feel like the person is not paying attention. It's funny sometimes when you see that they are trying their damnedest not to look. Sometimes still I catch my boyfriend in "booby dreamland" while staring at my chest.

Well, that's the end of my rant.

Plan9

Like I said... the NEVER get old. They are NEW and AMAZING ever day.

A distracting and desirable gift from the gods.

If -I- had boobs? I'd never leave the house.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Hyacinthe

I've got to agree with monkey baby here - blessing my ass! (well I like my ass so maybe that is a blessing)

I vary between a 38DDD or a 38F myself and the pain just isn't worth it - you can't run or go over speed bumps to add to her list of problems even a small speed bump while wearing a supportive bra can be painful as hell and when I had to run in highschool I had to wear 2 sports bras or it was just impossible.

As I've been the same bra size I am now since I was 15 I've adjusted to the fact that some guys will stare, most of the time I don't mind as long as the guy is discrete about it or is able to make a joke about it like analog did but it does become a little irritating when I go for a swim while I have friends over get out of the pool and their eyes just drop to my chest and seem unable to form a coherent sentence until I put a shirt on.

Sometimes I want to get attention and I will wear something that does emphasise my chest - then it's fine to stare but when you get over a certain cup size even in a plain Tee or a turtleneck guys still end up staring at your chest.

Guys think of it as the same as if a girl was staring at your crotch, you don't mind too much but if you're talking to her and she's looking at your groin and doesn't seem to be listening to a thing you're saying it would be frustrating right?

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"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own"

"Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."

Willravel

Heh. I'd absolutely LOVE it. Guys are different than gals.

And it can be a pain to run with big balls.

Infinite_Loser

Well, after reading some of the responses here, I guess I'm in the group of 'creepy' guys. I don't make it an absolute goal to stare at every woman's breasts, but if she's wearing a really tight shirt or a shirt that's showing off the goods then I'm going to stare intently.

Ummm... No. Stare away

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I believe in equality; Everyone is equally inferior to me.

Hyacinthe

hmm maybe i should have rethought that statement ....

If I was a guy I would run with this rule I guess - if you can see that little strip of skin between a womans breasts

for example


you're ok to ogle - if you can't see that it's probably not intentional - doesn't apply for tight shirts though

__________________
"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own"

"Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."

Infinite_Loser

*Shrugs*

Breasts exist for purely aesthetic reasons. Therefore, they should be admired otherwise their intended purpose goes to waste. Granted, I don't make a case to stare at a woman's breasts unless they're hanging out of her shirt or if she's wearing a shirt a couple of sizes too small and I most certainly don't stare with my mouth wide open, drool running down my face as I think that'd probably get me thrown in jail (Or, at the very least, slapped/kicked in the balls).

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I believe in equality; Everyone is equally inferior to me.

TotalMILF

(...and to sustain a new human life, maybe?)

You're right, though. Breasts spend most of their existence trying to attract males in hopes of finding a mate for their owner (hee hee, I personified boobies!!). I don't think I've ever met a (straight) guy that didn't like breasts. It's 100% natural for guys to want to look, and I take no offense to the occasional glance. I've never had anybody I don't know comment on my chest to my face, though. I think I'd be flattered, as long as they weren't assholes about it.

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"I'm sorry, all I heard was blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp."

Miss Mango

So what excuse is used by guys for women that live out of t-shirts most of the time? No, the t-shirts are not too tight either...

If I have to pick your eyeballs out of my cleavage, it's rude! For guys that to that to me, I've always been tempted to point and stare at their crotch and laugh. I've never done it, but it has been tempting at times.

Plan9

Well, ya know what? If you don't want to be a sex object...

I'll gladly take all the attention points you're getting and apply them towards my female-chasing pool. God knows I could use all the extra ogles you get.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Hyacinthe

Crompsin you are more then welcome to take all my ogles.

You can take all the car honks and random yellings to "show us your tits" as well

Like I said I don't mind being discretely ogled but there are times when it goes too far

Edit: sorry, my evening walk did not go well

__________________
"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own"

"Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."

noodle

Anyone is free to stare at my boobs. I can't do anything about the fact that they exist. Sometimes I'll show them off and sometimes I'll strap them down with two sportsbras at the gym. They're there and some people really like to look at them.

But if I'm speaking in a professional setting or... anywhere outside of a bar, I expect some body language that I'm being listened to.
That includes eye contact.
Those little pointy things under my shirt are not eyes, thanks.

__________________

mixedmedia

So, I think it's pretty much agreed.

Ogling isn't a big deal unless you are ridiculously indiscreet or at work.

You guys can handle that, right.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

ShaniFaye

Amen!!! I was SO glad to get approved for my breast reduction last year....I went from an F to a nice perky C....and of course now I love to show them off hehehe

I never ever knew a bra could fit so well

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