oral sex problems - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

jeffbess · 04-03-2007, 04:06 PM

Well, my (extremely attractive) girlfriend of seven months and I have been participating in oral sex for about the past two months. Problem is, I can never come. Nor can I in any other "outercourse". I can perfectly fine during masturbation, but it is becoming frustrating to not be able to reach climax during other situations. I've thought it was possibly due to somewhat frequent masturbation, so I've been trying to curb that.

As an aside: Any tips on stopping masturbation?

Johnny Rotten · 04-03-2007, 04:19 PM

Frequent masturbation can reduce the enjoyment you get from oral sex. For guys, at least. There's also the possibility that she's not very good at it, or that you're trying too hard to set a mood, when the most important thing is usually just being relaxed and comfortable.

I would also recommend taking a look at what you think about while you masturbate. If she's not involved in your fantasies, for example, then you've got some fish to fry.

MrFriendly · 04-03-2007, 04:27 PM

Hey Jeff,

I think going off porn and masturbation for a while would be a good call. If you do it too much, especially if you use porn, what actually manages to get you off becomes very specific and narrow after a while. So I think giving that up for a while will make you more responsive.

Have you tried communicating with your partner about how you like it? Have you tried letting her tease you a bit first? Trust me dude, when you let them tease it can really drive you wild

biznatch · 04-03-2007, 09:13 PM

I often find my mind to be everywhere when I'm in intercourse. It gets quite frustrating. It's really best when I focus all my attention on what's actually happening and on how good it feels.
So I guess...try to relax.

Deltona Couple · 04-04-2007, 05:53 AM

I think that if yo ucan get off fine masturbating, then I would ask if she has been sucessful at giving you a handjob? If yes, then consider her using her hand in assistance with oral. I freaking LOVE when a girl is giving me head, and uses her hands on my shaft and balls. It defiantely helps! Good luck!

mattevil · 04-07-2007, 12:07 AM

My question is have you come before with oral sex and another girl? Some guys believe it or not can't get off with oral sex and need penetration or a tugjob to get there(it's just their biology). Cutting back on masturbation might load the gun though. Maybe you could jerk yourself off with her doing a striptease or something. Experiment and find that sweet spot for the two of you!
P.S. are you on any medications? anti-depresseants are good at producing anorgasmia. So much so that one is being developed as a drug for premature ejaculation.

Willy · 04-07-2007, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by biznatch

So I guess...try to relax.

Bingo. Stop thinking about it. The more you obsess about sexual stuff the less enjoyable it becomes. If something's not working for you, then do something else, don't sweat it. It's about having fun and making each other feel good. If you're doing that, don't worry about the details and the less you worry about these "problems" the more likely they are to just go away.

Plaid13 · 04-07-2007, 04:10 PM

Its all in your head. If you can just stop thinking about your performance and relax it would work out a lot better. Just dont relax to the point where you fart while shes down there. No matter how you look at it thats one warm breeze on her neck she wont enjoy.

biznatch · 04-07-2007, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plaid13

Just dont relax to the point where you fart while shes down there. No matter how you look at it thats one warm breeze on her neck she wont enjoy.

You made me giggle, like a child. I would've felt stupid if anyone else were around, but luckily, no. So thanks.

American · 04-10-2007, 02:26 PM

First, both of you need to embrace the fact that oral sex is all about the receiver. You need to allow yourself to lay back and just receive. She needs to allow you to receive. She can do a lot of things to let you know that in her words and body language. You can also praise her when she's doing an awesome job, and don't be shy about guiding her in a nice way. Remember most people want to be good at sex and want to please their partner.

Ourcrazymodern? · 04-11-2007, 08:44 AM

I find it very hard to come in anyone's mouth...

to your aside: nope, why bother?

(It) springs eternal, after all.

biznatch · 04-11-2007, 01:43 PM

Our Crazy Modern, many see receiving come in their mouth as a message of acceptance.. it can be a very sweet gesture the oral sex giver to accept to receive the come.

highthief · 04-11-2007, 04:12 PM

Shrug - I think I've come twice in 20 year of oral sex with a variety of women. So long as there is pussy in the world, I don't worry about it too much.

analog · 08-21-2007, 02:50 AM

thread starter let go for being underage...

04-03-2007, 04:06 PM	#1 (permalink)
jeffbess Banned	oral sex problems Well, my (extremely attractive) girlfriend of seven months and I have been participating in oral sex for about the past two months. Problem is, I can never come. Nor can I in any other "outercourse". I can perfectly fine during masturbation, but it is becoming frustrating to not be able to reach climax during other situations. I've thought it was possibly due to somewhat frequent masturbation, so I've been trying to curb that. As an aside: Any tips on stopping masturbation?

04-03-2007, 04:19 PM	#2 (permalink)
Johnny Rotten lost and found Location: Berkeley	Frequent masturbation can reduce the enjoyment you get from oral sex. For guys, at least. There's also the possibility that she's not very good at it, or that you're trying too hard to set a mood, when the most important thing is usually just being relaxed and comfortable. I would also recommend taking a look at what you think about while you masturbate. If she's not involved in your fantasies, for example, then you've got some fish to fry. __________________ "The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine

04-03-2007, 04:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
MrFriendly Psycho Location: Australia	Hey Jeff, I think going off porn and masturbation for a while would be a good call. If you do it too much, especially if you use porn, what actually manages to get you off becomes very specific and narrow after a while. So I think giving that up for a while will make you more responsive. Have you tried communicating with your partner about how you like it? Have you tried letting her tease you a bit first? Trust me dude, when you let them tease it can really drive you wild __________________ You are not a slave

04-03-2007, 09:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
biznatch Junkie Location: France	I often find my mind to be everywhere when I'm in intercourse. It gets quite frustrating. It's really best when I focus all my attention on what's actually happening and on how good it feels. So I guess...try to relax. __________________ Check it out: The Open Source/Freeware/Gratis Software Thread

04-04-2007, 05:53 AM	#5 (permalink)
Deltona Couple Addict Location: Spring, Texas	I think that if yo ucan get off fine masturbating, then I would ask if she has been sucessful at giving you a handjob? If yes, then consider her using her hand in assistance with oral. I freaking LOVE when a girl is giving me head, and uses her hands on my shaft and balls. It defiantely helps! Good luck! __________________ "It is not that I have failed, but that I have found 10,000 ways that it DOESN'T work!" --Thomas Edison

04-07-2007, 12:07 AM	#6 (permalink)
mattevil Addict Location: Virginia	My question is have you come before with oral sex and another girl? Some guys believe it or not can't get off with oral sex and need penetration or a tugjob to get there(it's just their biology). Cutting back on masturbation might load the gun though. Maybe you could jerk yourself off with her doing a striptease or something. Experiment and find that sweet spot for the two of you! P.S. are you on any medications? anti-depresseants are good at producing anorgasmia. So much so that one is being developed as a drug for premature ejaculation.

04-07-2007, 04:10 PM	#8 (permalink)
Plaid13 I want a Plaid crayon	Its all in your head. If you can just stop thinking about your performance and relax it would work out a lot better. Just dont relax to the point where you fart while shes down there. No matter how you look at it thats one warm breeze on her neck she wont enjoy.

04-10-2007, 02:26 PM	#10 (permalink)
American Upright Location: Hampton Roads, VA	First, both of you need to embrace the fact that oral sex is all about the receiver. You need to allow yourself to lay back and just receive. She needs to allow you to receive. She can do a lot of things to let you know that in her words and body language. You can also praise her when she's doing an awesome job, and don't be shy about guiding her in a nice way. Remember most people want to be good at sex and want to please their partner. __________________ American A Conservative in your face

04-11-2007, 08:44 AM	#11 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	I find it very hard to come in anyone's mouth... to your aside: nope, why bother? (It) springs eternal, after all. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

04-11-2007, 01:43 PM	#12 (permalink)
biznatch Junkie Location: France	Our Crazy Modern, many see receiving come in their mouth as a message of acceptance.. it can be a very sweet gesture the oral sex giver to accept to receive the come. __________________ Check it out: The Open Source/Freeware/Gratis Software Thread

04-11-2007, 04:12 PM	#13 (permalink)
highthief Junkie Location: Ontario, Canada	Shrug - I think I've come twice in 20 year of oral sex with a variety of women. So long as there is pussy in the world, I don't worry about it too much. __________________ Si vis pacem parabellum.

08-21-2007, 02:50 AM	#14 (permalink)
analog Banned	thread starter let go for being underage...