kangaeru

Just wanted to stop by and drop a nugget of sexual wisdom for my fellow men. Ladies, if you disagree/agree with anything I say please feel free to chime in (although I know you would anyways :P) with comments if you think I'm on target or off base here.

Okay, I'll jump right into this. When you are fingering a woman, the most important thing to remember is that you're not using your penis. You do not want to thrust in and out as if you were already having sex with her--make her wait for that. Your fingers have a lot more small muscle motors in them than your dick does, so you want to make that dexterity work to its maximum benefit.

Before you even have her pants off, begin by rubbing her inner thighs. Not just rubbing-- grab them a little bit, but be careful not to PINCH. You always want to be going somewhere at this point...don't just aimlessly grope her thighs for 10 minutes. You want to begin semi-far away from her vagina, and slowly work your way from mainly groping her inner thighs to mainly her vagina. A real nice trick which you should use often is to completely stop everything, pause for a second, maybe taking her nipple into your mouth if her shirt is off, and then give a nice confident grope in the private parts. Now it's time for the pants to come off.

This is where the fun really starts. Begin by just running your fingers up and down her vaginal lips, occassionally applying pressure so that your finger penetrates her, but only a little bit because your finger should still be parallel to her just yet. With your palm on her pubic bone, begin to tease her by drawing your finger up and down her vaginal lips with moderate pressure, occassionally dipping in to penetrate her every so slightly.

Suckling her nipples this whole time is a good move, by the way.

When you're ready to begin penetrating her, for the love of god LICK YOUR FINGERS. Some girls get wet really easily, some don't. You really need to be careful here because a dry finger off the starting line is going to hurt her and she will very likely be sore the rest of your encounter. Begin by going in SLOWLY...and I mean centimeter by centimeter. You should be able to feel her vaginal muscles contracting and squeezing your finger as you go in a little bit, then stop, then in a little bit more, then stop. Even when you're not moving but your finger is inside them, it feels good for them to squeeze on you a bit.

Now, pull back out and repeat this, going with a little bit of a faster pace, but move your finger up and down slowly so that you apply pressure to the walls of her vagina. You can also wiggle your finger with a short range of motion so that its moving up and down or side to side (I find up and down is easier and less tiresome for your fingers) but not coming near to touching the walls of her vagina.

When you get your finger all the way in as far as it can go, you will probably be able to feel the back of her vagina. Slowly run your finger in small circles around the inside while applying pressure, making sure you're searching for the little nubby that is hiding way in the back. It's a little hood of soft velvet, so you can usually get your finger under it and give it a little teasing which will drive them wild. Try to remember where this little guy is.

Now, pull out completely and do that all over again and give her an encore, but with two fingers. Vaginas are elastic muscles, so you will feel MUCH bigger to her going in in with two fingers--I suggest using your pointer and your middle finger.

Once you've gotten to the point where both of your fingers are fully inside her again, you can hold both of your fingers against the top/bottom/sides of her vagina, and then break into a little thing I call the "piano solo" by quickly moving your fingers up and down against one of her walls. You can improvise this by petting/stroking it, as well. You will also be able to find little 'pits' or depressions as I think of them, inside of her. You want to feel around (SLOWLY!!! SLOW IS KEY KEY KEY!!! It heightens their arousal this way!!!) with your two fingers paired together trying to find these, and when you do you can stroke them or run your fingers in small circles with light/moderate pressure, then press down harder and hold on to it. This works really good on the roof of the vagina, because you can flip your hand over so that you're cupping their pubic bone and press on her from both inside and outside her vagina by applying pressure from both fingers inside as well as your thumb on the outside. You can also do a 'scisor kick', whereby you press and hold one finger against the top/bottom or opposite sides of her vaginal walls, and then slowly make a scisor-like motion going back and forth with your fingers.

Now, for the ace in the hole! Hope you remembered where that little nubby is, because now it's time to set off the fireworks. Use your middle finger (because it's longer and you'll need the reach) to find the little guy and begin playing with it as you did before, while holding your other finger against the roof of her vagina. While keeping constant pressure on the top with your pointer finger, play with her down below. Once you're comfortable doing this, instead of just applying constant pressure against the top of her vagina with your pointer finger, begin moving it side to side, or moving it in tandem with your middle finger in a rowing motion so that your up-strokes hit both her nubby while simultaneously getting the roof. You can also 'hook' your index finger along one of the side walls and do this too, just make sure it's a good angle for your hand and that's she's enjoying it. The idea in this is to give her two kinds of senations from two different nerve endings, which there are a LOT of in there.

At this point, if you want to do a little finger pumping, go for it. You're going to be having sex pretty soon, and this will have her going buck wild because it will feel VERY good and give her a sense that Prince Albert will soon be arriving.

If you have trouble making the woman climax, go for the TRIPLE THREAT! You should follow a similar pattern of stimulation with your tongue on her clit that you're doing with her fingers while you do this. Remember to always be building up or going somewhere most of the time--unless you found a move she is REALLY liking, you should be constantly trying to do things to raise the arousal meter. That's also why you want to go slowly...to achieve this build up. Going between fast and slow is good sometimes, but having that be the technique itself is a no-no. Getting back to the triple threat, don't munch without abandon while trying to get her off until you're doing the pointer/middle finger acrobatics as well. If you haven't already gotten her off by then, she will be on sensory overload and most women will be able to cum.

That's it for the clinical description. Let me talk briefly about about the individual pace/rhythm a woman likes, as this is a lot more difficult to grasp.

The whole point of this exercise is to PLEASE her. Part of the reason you are going slowly is because you want to see what she really likes--really pay attention to how she responds to your improvisation. The worst thing a guy can do is find something that's really good, keep at it for a second, then move on to something else. If you find something that really gets a response out of her, concentrate on that. Go slowly, tease it, and build it up before you go all out on it. In order to really be good at this, you need to stop thinking about if she likes, what should I try next, etc, and just focus all your energy on what you are doing. You will find someone women like you to apply more pressure while you're in there than others--you need to pay attention to their responses to see if you are pleasing them or hurting them. Often, especially with a new/not well known partner, if you're hurting them they won't say anything but you should be able to notice by their body language. I don't know if I'm gifted or just practiced, but when I do this I am able to actually FEEL what the woman is feeling. Nowhere near as intensely of course--it's like the phantom of a lost limb; it's the feeling of an almost-shiver down the back of your spine.

When you get to that point, you are the musician and she is the instrument. You are able to sense what she needs and play her a symphony. Any guy who can reach this level is going to have a very lucky girlfriend who can count her blessings It's easier to get to this point if you have a partner you regularly have sex with so you get lots of practice. Once you're tuned in however, anytime you have sex with somebody you're going to make a VERY good impression, and future encounters are all the more likely

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ngdawg

Hand me a towel, please.....

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yelizaveta

so do you know what exactly the 'little nubby" is? i always wondered when i encounter it in my own vagina, but never cared enough to look it up i guess...

also, i wanted to add that i personally prefer to have my clit stimulated, fingers inside me don't really do as much... but when they are inside me, i agree that just a finger thrusting motion REALLY isn't going to do much.

ngdawg

If they move around as stated, the G-spot will be found and be very happy and it and it's friend Clitoris will dance together with joy

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kangaeru

I don't know actually...I'm probably better off not knowing the scientific term. That's not as erotic, for me anyways =P

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spectre

kangaeru: It's pretty easy. Just do what you're doing, but add this little twist to it, when you insert a finger, if she's laying on her back, insert that finger with your palm facing up. Curl your finger until you touch a rough spot on the wall. That's the g-spot. Rub it circularly, starting off slow and increasing in speed slowly all while still licking and teasing the clit. That will get a great reaction.

Great post btw.

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yelizaveta

this dance you are describing sounds so blissful...g-spot's grand finale will be a squirt!

MrFriendly

Women have pleasure during sex too? Why didn't anyone tell me!

*JOKING!!!*

That was actually one hell on an informative article. No man will have any excuse to not be able to please his missus from now on!

Now all I have to do is break this dry spell and i can but some of this tips to good use

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match000

Any more helpful threads like this?

Btw, thanks for the info, much appreciated

The_Jazz

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abaya

I wholeheartedly agree. For me, the greatest turn-on happens *before* any fingers go inside. Fireworks have to happen with my clit before anything else starts flowing (literally)... and often, it has to happen for quite a few minutes before I'm at full speed.

When my husband uses his whole hand (usually palm, or a few fingers together) to stimulate my clitoral area, even with indirect contact from on top of the labia, that is what really heats me up and gets me wet. Once the fingers go in, I don't feel as much sensation, and I start wanting his penis there instead (unless, of course, he is going down on me at the same time, in which case he could put anything up there and I would be happy... as long as my clit is being touched).

Maybe I'm a rare one, but I just find that fingers inside the vagina are just not that interesting compared to extended clitoral rubbing. As I said though, the two together are divine. But just fingers... nah.

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mixedmedia

mmmmm...I feel horny

Very nice, kangaeru.

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dareknsofnight4

GOOD one !!!!

World's King

That was a lot of info.

If I ever have sex again I'll have to remember this...

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Rinndalir

My wife is the same way. This is great advice but you also have to remember that every woman is different...

Puget

Great post and replies. Thx, P.

Kristina07

wow - great, great way of wording it. its like every thought i have ever had- when i guy has been doing things wrong - and wishing they knew these things - or right- and sooo glad they did. Nice work for the guys who may need a little bit of help No shame in reading up on things!

ItWasMe

Quote: When you are fingering a woman, the most important thing to remember is that you're not using your penis.

You also need to remember that you're not using a SAW!! Rapid sawing motion while applying much pressure downward (towards rear end) can be very painful for her, and likely to get you kicked in self defense. This is especially true if she has a scar there from having children...scars aren't as stretchy as normal skin.

Good post, by the way.