Suggestions on good places to meet new people? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

JustDisGuy · 01-30-2007, 11:32 PM

Okay - I'm asking for advice about where I might meet some new friends. My wife died unexpectedly a little over a year ago, and almost all of our friends were "our" friends, who are couples and really seem to want little or nothing to do with me now. Single people and couples really don't seem to do well together - at least when I'm the single people in the equation.

So I don't like the idea of "dipping the pen in the office inkwell", even where it concerns same-sex friendships outside the work place. Getting personal with the people you work with just sounds like a bad idea for a number of reasons. Which of course presents the problem. Where does one meet and greet new single people these days? I have no interest in pursuing online dating - tried and got a few terrifying responses. Not even necessarily about dating - just socializing. It's been probably ten years I've been 'out of the game' and either I changed or it did, because all I can see out there is kids going to the bar, drinking, fighting and fucking. Is that all there is? I'm open to suggestions. Thanks for making them.

Mantus · 01-31-2007, 06:22 AM

Off the top of my head...

Co-ed sports.
Gyms
Dancing Classes
Pubs/Bars/Lounges
Charity Events
Volunteer Work
Event Co-ordination
Literature/Poetry/Art Classes
Book Stores
Coffee Shops
Political Fundraising
Music Scenes

Ask for details if anything seems of interest

hagatha · 01-31-2007, 07:26 AM

That's a great list to start with Mantus-- Volunteer work and night classes, things that really interest you are excellent conduits to meeting people.

healer · 01-31-2007, 07:28 AM

The easiest way to meet people is to go places where there are lots of different kinds of people. OK, duh, you might say - but you'll be amazed by how many people say they can't meet anyone but all they're doing is sitting at home (not saying you, just making an example).

The key here is not only to find these large groups of different people, but to find groups with similar interests to your own . So if you like being outdoors and there's one of these 'theatre-in-the-park' things happening - Go. The worst that can happen is that the play sucks, but you'll still be able to enjoy the day in the park.

Just doing things that interest you should be more than enough to meet other, like-minded folk.

absorbentishe · 01-31-2007, 07:52 AM

One major thing is, be open and talk to others. You can be around a lot of people, but if you don't make the effort, most others won't either. Talk, and talk, but not too much.

Sharon · 02-01-2007, 02:58 AM

JustDisGuy, there are some good points already in this thread. What are your interests and hobbies by the way? Perhaps we can give you some more specific ideas.

JustDisGuy · 02-01-2007, 10:48 AM

I agree - I've seen some pretty good points made here. Most of my pastimes are solo (reading, computer, learning to play guitar, motorcycling, scuba/sky diving), and I don't often have time to pursue them even so - especially in the middle of the prairies winter!!

Some of the ones I hadn't actually thought of include the volunteer / charity work suggestion. That seems like an excellent way to address a few things at once - I have charitable causes that I'm passionate about but just haven't taken the time to get really involved. I guess I forgot there's more to charity than giving money...

You've already given me lots of good suggestions. Thanks guys!

Lady Sage · 02-01-2007, 12:30 PM

Pan and I met in a Borders store. Funny what can come of that.

cadre · 02-01-2007, 03:10 PM

If you are into motorcycling I will say that I met some great people when I took one of the Harley Davidson classes. I don't know what type of motorcycling you're into but if you like cruising this is a great place to meet people. There are classes like this for track riding and such too. I just know that the people I met at the Harley class were really nice and fun even though I'm more of a street bike or dirt bike person. I was alot younger than most of the people there but it sounds like you are middle aged or so and there are alot of people in that group in the classes.

Other than that, ..what they said.

Sharon · 02-01-2007, 03:11 PM

I heard a story about a couple who met at an amateur bikers enthusiasts club. Lisa Simpson and British lover Hugh began their romance by sharing a book (and later a kiss) at their college library (admittedly that didn't work out). A friend's housemate was a read-to-the-kids volunteer at a library who met, dated and married a single mother who had brought her child for the reading sessions (and of course the kid loved him too).

The classes idea works devastatingly well - Mantus has given a few good ideas. Pottery, dance or massage classes will probably get you somewhere... maybe even a favourable reputation!

hunnychile · 02-01-2007, 04:39 PM

I like the Book Store idea, also even gasp, church, if you are so inclined.

Art galleries are good too esp. if there is a good showing that's happening.

Grocery stores is the California/NYC way to go (at least, that what I've heard). And of course the gym is an okay place.

Make friends first. Then move forward.
Good luck and please know that your buds here are hoping you make lot's of new friends in 2007. Take "baby steps" to start. No pressure - no time schedule

God bless you.
hunnychile

newtx · 02-01-2007, 08:25 PM

Gym
Church
grocery stores
maybe even the mall
concerts, sporting events

Sharon · 02-02-2007, 06:09 AM

The mall might be a bit "high school", I could be in the of the minority (of one) on this though... but it's better than being at home for sure.

beavstrokinoff · 02-02-2007, 01:29 PM

Grocery stores
casinos

What kind of woman are you looking for?
perhaps a biker convention

ryborg · 02-10-2007, 10:45 AM

A grocery store? WTF? How do you meet people at a grocery store?

"Hey, I was just following you down the isles and noticed you like Jiff peanut butter. Clearly, we have something in common. Here's my number. Call me. We can make sandwiches together sometime."

No seriously, how does the grocery store dynamic work? I just don't understand it! Meh, I'm off topic. Let me get back on track. If I were you I would play up those guitar powers. In my experience, women seem to enjoy those expressive mediums. I have always gotten a lot more attention from the fairer sex through my art than my computer programming. Use your creative side to its fullest!

01-30-2007, 11:32 PM	#1 (permalink)
JustDisGuy Insane Location: Saskatchewan	Suggestions on good places to meet new people? Okay - I'm asking for advice about where I might meet some new friends. My wife died unexpectedly a little over a year ago, and almost all of our friends were "our" friends, who are couples and really seem to want little or nothing to do with me now. Single people and couples really don't seem to do well together - at least when I'm the single people in the equation. So I don't like the idea of "dipping the pen in the office inkwell", even where it concerns same-sex friendships outside the work place. Getting personal with the people you work with just sounds like a bad idea for a number of reasons. Which of course presents the problem. Where does one meet and greet new single people these days? I have no interest in pursuing online dating - tried and got a few terrifying responses. Not even necessarily about dating - just socializing. It's been probably ten years I've been 'out of the game' and either I changed or it did, because all I can see out there is kids going to the bar, drinking, fighting and fucking. Is that all there is? I'm open to suggestions. Thanks for making them.

01-31-2007, 07:26 AM	#3 (permalink)
hagatha Addict	That's a great list to start with Mantus-- Volunteer work and night classes, things that really interest you are excellent conduits to meeting people. __________________ Thats the last time I trust the strangest people I ever met....H. Simpson

02-01-2007, 12:30 PM	#8 (permalink)
Lady Sage Mistress of Mayhem Location: Canton, Ohio	Pan and I met in a Borders store. Funny what can come of that. __________________ If only closed minds came with closed mouths. Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open. It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.

02-01-2007, 03:10 PM	#9 (permalink)
cadre The Worst Influence Location: Arizona	If you are into motorcycling I will say that I met some great people when I took one of the Harley Davidson classes. I don't know what type of motorcycling you're into but if you like cruising this is a great place to meet people. There are classes like this for track riding and such too. I just know that the people I met at the Harley class were really nice and fun even though I'm more of a street bike or dirt bike person. I was alot younger than most of the people there but it sounds like you are middle aged or so and there are alot of people in that group in the classes. Other than that, ..what they said. __________________ My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

02-01-2007, 04:39 PM	#11 (permalink)
hunnychile Alien Anthropologist Location: Between Boredom and Nirvana	I like the Book Store idea, also even gasp, church, if you are so inclined. Art galleries are good too esp. if there is a good showing that's happening. Grocery stores is the California/NYC way to go (at least, that what I've heard). And of course the gym is an okay place. Make friends first. Then move forward. Good luck and please know that your buds here are hoping you make lot's of new friends in 2007. Take "baby steps" to start. No pressure - no time schedule God bless you. hunnychile __________________ "I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

01-31-2007, 06:22 AM	#2 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	Off the top of my head... Co-ed sports. Gyms Dancing Classes Pubs/Bars/Lounges Charity Events Volunteer Work Event Co-ordination Literature/Poetry/Art Classes Book Stores Coffee Shops Political Fundraising Music Scenes Ask for details if anything seems of interest

01-31-2007, 07:52 AM	#5 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	One major thing is, be open and talk to others. You can be around a lot of people, but if you don't make the effort, most others won't either. Talk, and talk, but not too much.

02-01-2007, 02:58 AM	#6 (permalink)
Sharon Coy, sultry and... naughty! Location: Across the way	JustDisGuy, there are some good points already in this thread. What are your interests and hobbies by the way? Perhaps we can give you some more specific ideas.

02-01-2007, 10:48 AM	#7 (permalink)
JustDisGuy Insane Location: Saskatchewan	I agree - I've seen some pretty good points made here. Most of my pastimes are solo (reading, computer, learning to play guitar, motorcycling, scuba/sky diving), and I don't often have time to pursue them even so - especially in the middle of the prairies winter!! Some of the ones I hadn't actually thought of include the volunteer / charity work suggestion. That seems like an excellent way to address a few things at once - I have charitable causes that I'm passionate about but just haven't taken the time to get really involved. I guess I forgot there's more to charity than giving money... You've already given me lots of good suggestions. Thanks guys!

02-01-2007, 03:11 PM	#10 (permalink)
Sharon Coy, sultry and... naughty! Location: Across the way	I heard a story about a couple who met at an amateur bikers enthusiasts club. Lisa Simpson and British lover Hugh began their romance by sharing a book (and later a kiss) at their college library (admittedly that didn't work out). A friend's housemate was a read-to-the-kids volunteer at a library who met, dated and married a single mother who had brought her child for the reading sessions (and of course the kid loved him too). The classes idea works devastatingly well - Mantus has given a few good ideas. Pottery, dance or massage classes will probably get you somewhere... maybe even a favourable reputation!

02-01-2007, 08:25 PM	#12 (permalink)
newtx Addict	Gym Church grocery stores maybe even the mall concerts, sporting events

02-02-2007, 06:09 AM	#13 (permalink)
Sharon Coy, sultry and... naughty! Location: Across the way	The mall might be a bit "high school", I could be in the of the minority (of one) on this though... but it's better than being at home for sure.

02-02-2007, 01:29 PM	#14 (permalink)
beavstrokinoff Tilted	Grocery stores casinos What kind of woman are you looking for? perhaps a biker convention

02-10-2007, 10:45 AM	#15 (permalink)
ryborg Crazy	A grocery store? WTF? How do you meet people at a grocery store? "Hey, I was just following you down the isles and noticed you like Jiff peanut butter. Clearly, we have something in common. Here's my number. Call me. We can make sandwiches together sometime." No seriously, how does the grocery store dynamic work? I just don't understand it! Meh, I'm off topic. Let me get back on track. If I were you I would play up those guitar powers. In my experience, women seem to enjoy those expressive mediums. I have always gotten a lot more attention from the fairer sex through my art than my computer programming. Use your creative side to its fullest! __________________ Solve two problems at once. Feed the homeless to the hungry.