Suggestions for first sex after giving birth - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

elsesomebody · 06-13-2006, 08:35 AM

My wife and I are looking forward to having sex again after just having our first child. We are waiting 6 *weeks* as instructed by her doctor, and realize it may be like our first time, a little awkward and uncomfortable. Does anybody have any suggestions for us?

maleficent · 06-13-2006, 08:44 AM

You have to wait 6 months?
I've never been a parent, but every bit of reading I've done on the subject in calming down other people, generally it's suggested waiting til after the first post natal check up - which happens at about 6 weeks...

Suggestions? Go slow.. take your time... and a woman's sex drive can change after child birth so pay attention to her...

Charlatan · 06-13-2006, 09:14 AM

Six months? Who is your doctor?

We were back on the horse about a week or two later... would have been sooner but we had to wait for the episiotomy to heal.

From what I hear, sex (more specifically the female orgasm) is good for post-birth healing.

ngdawg · 06-13-2006, 09:16 AM

Wow. Six months? Was there a medical reason for this other than giving birth? We only waited until the post-partem bleeding stopped.
If she had a vaginal birth, you might notice a couple of differences, most notably being she might not be as 'tight' as she used to be. This will vary but don't be alarmed if that's the case. She may also have developed hemmorhoids-again, nothing to really be concerned about unless they're severe and active.
If she had a ceasarian, nothing really changes at all internally(a boon to that procedure!)
Is she nursing? Nursing increases oxytocin, which has a few uses, one of which is increased horniness.
Otherwise after six months she should be as close to normal as she can be. Take it slow, enjoy the 'reentry', making sure to show her she's still the same desirable woman she was before. And make sure the baby has been fed really well, changed and down for the night! Nothing kills the mood faster than 'WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH'

Toaster126 · 06-13-2006, 09:21 AM

Practice.

kutulu · 06-13-2006, 09:34 AM

It's really not any different that usual. Just take it easy and read her reactions before ramping it up. Oh, jerk off earlier in the day, you don't want to get too excited too soon!

elsesomebody · 06-13-2006, 10:09 AM

Sorry I meant 6 weeks, I corrected it in my post

Redlemon · 06-13-2006, 10:22 AM

Just don't think about the difference in diameter between your penis and your newborn baby's head, and you'll be fine.

Seriously, though, go on her schedule and timing, and if she says stop, stop. I doubt there will be any problems, though.

Also, unless you want kid #2 immediately following, use a condom. The whole "nursing reduces the likelihood of pregnancy" isn't statistically significant enough to bet your future on.

ngdawg · 06-13-2006, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elsesomebody

Sorry I meant 6 weeks, I corrected it in my post

Whew!
Well, everything else still applies.

absorbentishe · 06-13-2006, 11:50 AM

Lube and lots of it. My wife needed a little extra right after. Also, she felt a little different after our first, I could last a whole lot longer. Our sex life got soooo much better after kids...

fresnelly · 06-13-2006, 12:10 PM

It may be awkward, but not in a clumsy, first time, backseat of the car kind of way. Assuming you're both truly in the mood, it will be a great way to reconnect anew. Let her lead and have a good time.

Average_Joe · 06-13-2006, 12:28 PM

If your wife is nursing, then she will probably be drier down below than normal. In that case, use something like Astroglide or KY jelly as artificial lubricant. Also, after intercourse, she might be sore for a while, so don't expect a high frequency of sex in the beginning.

Grasshopper Green · 06-13-2006, 03:32 PM

If she had a vaginal birth with a lot of tearing, the scar tissue may be sore the first little while after you resume sexual activities. Just keep that in mind, and whoever mentioned lots of lube was right on the money. Oh...if she is nursing, her breasts may leak during sex...mine always did.

06-13-2006, 08:35 AM	#1 (permalink)
elsesomebody Tilted Location: North Carolina	Suggestions for first sex after giving birth My wife and I are looking forward to having sex again after just having our first child. We are waiting 6 weeks as instructed by her doctor, and realize it may be like our first time, a little awkward and uncomfortable. Does anybody have any suggestions for us? Last edited by elsesomebody; 06-13-2006 at 10:08 AM..

06-13-2006, 08:44 AM	#2 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	You have to wait 6 months? I've never been a parent, but every bit of reading I've done on the subject in calming down other people, generally it's suggested waiting til after the first post natal check up - which happens at about 6 weeks... Suggestions? Go slow.. take your time... and a woman's sex drive can change after child birth so pay attention to her... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

06-13-2006, 09:14 AM	#3 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	Six months? Who is your doctor? We were back on the horse about a week or two later... would have been sooner but we had to wait for the episiotomy to heal. From what I hear, sex (more specifically the female orgasm) is good for post-birth healing. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

06-13-2006, 09:16 AM	#4 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Wow. Six months? Was there a medical reason for this other than giving birth? We only waited until the post-partem bleeding stopped. If she had a vaginal birth, you might notice a couple of differences, most notably being she might not be as 'tight' as she used to be. This will vary but don't be alarmed if that's the case. She may also have developed hemmorhoids-again, nothing to really be concerned about unless they're severe and active. If she had a ceasarian, nothing really changes at all internally(a boon to that procedure!) Is she nursing? Nursing increases oxytocin, which has a few uses, one of which is increased horniness. Otherwise after six months she should be as close to normal as she can be. Take it slow, enjoy the 'reentry', making sure to show her she's still the same desirable woman she was before. And make sure the baby has been fed really well, changed and down for the night! Nothing kills the mood faster than 'WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH' __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

06-13-2006, 09:21 AM	#5 (permalink)
Toaster126 Extreme moderation Location: Kansas City, yo.	Practice. __________________ "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand) "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

06-13-2006, 09:34 AM	#6 (permalink)
kutulu Junkie	It's really not any different that usual. Just take it easy and read her reactions before ramping it up. Oh, jerk off earlier in the day, you don't want to get too excited too soon!

06-13-2006, 10:09 AM	#7 (permalink)
elsesomebody Tilted Location: North Carolina	Sorry I meant 6 weeks, I corrected it in my post

06-13-2006, 10:22 AM	#8 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	Just don't think about the difference in diameter between your penis and your newborn baby's head, and you'll be fine. Seriously, though, go on her schedule and timing, and if she says stop, stop. I doubt there will be any problems, though. Also, unless you want kid #2 immediately following, use a condom. The whole "nursing reduces the likelihood of pregnancy" isn't statistically significant enough to bet your future on. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

06-13-2006, 11:50 AM	#10 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	Lube and lots of it. My wife needed a little extra right after. Also, she felt a little different after our first, I could last a whole lot longer. Our sex life got soooo much better after kids...

06-13-2006, 12:10 PM	#11 (permalink)
fresnelly Functionally Appropriate Location: Toronto	It may be awkward, but not in a clumsy, first time, backseat of the car kind of way. Assuming you're both truly in the mood, it will be a great way to reconnect anew. Let her lead and have a good time. __________________ Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

06-13-2006, 12:28 PM	#12 (permalink)
Average_Joe Psycho Location: Under the Radar	If your wife is nursing, then she will probably be drier down below than normal. In that case, use something like Astroglide or KY jelly as artificial lubricant. Also, after intercourse, she might be sore for a while, so don't expect a high frequency of sex in the beginning.

06-13-2006, 03:32 PM	#13 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green ...is a comical chap Location: Where morons reign supreme	If she had a vaginal birth with a lot of tearing, the scar tissue may be sore the first little while after you resume sexual activities. Just keep that in mind, and whoever mentioned lots of lube was right on the money. Oh...if she is nursing, her breasts may leak during sex...mine always did. __________________ "They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa