Something to consider at the next election
 

ORIGINAL VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.


MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!


MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green."


Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing "We shall overcome". Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.


Tom Daschle & Walter Mondale exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".


Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act", retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.


Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.


The ant loses the case.


The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.


The ant has disappeared in the snow.


The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.


MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican

Father - Daughter talk
 

FATHER DAUGHTER TALK

A young teenage girl was about to finish her first
year of college. She considered herself to be a very liberal
Democrat and her father was a rather staunch Republican.

One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to programs like welfare. He stopped her and asked her how she was doing in school. She answered that she had a 4.0 GPA but it was really tough. She had to study all the time, never had time to go out and party and often went sleepless because of all the studying. She didn't have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of all her studying.

He then asked how her friend Mary, who was attending the same
college, was doing She replied that she was barely getting by. She had a 2.0 GPA, never studied, was very popular on campus
and was at parties all the time. She often wouldn't show up for classes because she was hung over.

He then asked his daughter why she didn't go to the Dean's office and ask why she couldn't take 1.0 off her 4.0 and give it to her friend who only had a 2.0. That way they would both have a 3.0 GPA.

The daughter fired back and said, That wouldn't be fair, I worked really hard for mine and my friend has done nothing.

The father smiled and said, Welcome to the Republican Party.

Couldn't you have condensed this and your other post into one thread? The thrust is the same. The story is amusing, though likely not for the intended reasons.

Yes I could have. However, I think the length of the two together would have been too much.

In my intrepretation, both posts illustrate the thought process of liberal democrats. Glad you liked it.

wow, didnt see that coming at all (sarcastic)

being a liberal democrat doesnt just mean you're for welfare, means you're liberties.

That's exactly right. What I find amusing is that people apparently think liberal Democrats think that way. But then, I've always favored the Snidely Whiplash image of conservative Republicans pushing orphans into meat grinders in order to sell sausages to poor families at ridiculously inflated prices while twisting their mustaches and grinning evilly.

I'm doing this in a light-hearted way. It's satirical commentary on the stereotypes and misperceptions between the parties. No offense intended.

I used to eat loads of those orphan sausages, but I quit after feeling quilty about products that use child labour.

Merged the threads.

Well, I find the stories ridiculous and surprisingly true in our society. I am predominanty comservative, but there are several issues that I lean slightly liberal on.


In the end, Most dem. think they need to completely support the nation...Pretty soon, we will have no one working, and everyone on welfare....

I don't know, I work for my money...Why can't everyone else?

...Because we all know capitalism is JUST THAT SIMPLE!!!

Lets condense it to something you just may be able to understand - an example. Lets look at New York: for one sanitation job, 10,000 people applied. Now, I'm not saying that those people couldn't have tried harder in school, gained more knowledge, read more books, watched less TV... which is true, they could have done all of those things. Alas, they did not, so should the starve?

As a believer in causism, I also find that the lack of funding early on in a childs life and involvement from positive sources causes the child to go no where and therefore be on welfare. If you want to take money away from welfare, give it to schools.

:rolleyes: Of course, everything isn't as simple as republicans make it out to be. Everything has two faces, and multiple arguments for and against. Condensing to a simple truism is funny, but life is never that simple.

Let me try to condense this down even farther to something you might be able to understand. Did you ever stop to consider that in many areas the guy on the garbage truck is making two to three times more money than the poor jerk with three college degrees that is trying to teach his kid how to read? This nation has it priorities totally out of order.

Liquor Dealer, the reason a garbage collector makes money is due to the basic tenant of supply and demand. No one wants to be a garbage man, and we produce an insane amount of garbage. So garbage men get paid a lot to keep them in a job that sucks. Is that something that you can understand? A guy with three college degrees trying to teach his kid to read isn't providing a service for anyone but himself. Thus, he doesn't get paid anything. This nation does have its priorities out of order, you're right about that, but you picked a bad example.

Yah, libs are all for liberties unless it happens to be about gun rights or maybe keeping more of your hard earned income!

well, what i find kind of funny is that there actually are who people think we democrats get some perverse pleasure out of taking away your income, but that's simply...dumb. our taxes get taken away just like yours do, (social status nonwithstanding), but for me, as idealistically as it may seem to others, i rationalize it by keeping in mind that my money is going to good things, education, the military, welfare (that's just me :) ). because honestly, as much as we putter about government waste, which there can be a lot of, the vast majority is going where it's supposed to be going. even if there isn't enough because we've given out lots of tax breaks. hehe. that's my two cents

Lowly citizens like us don't have "income", it's just tax money that hasn't been collected yet. :D

Seriously though, the democratic solution to every problem seems to be tax tax tax tax. The economy is in a slump? Tax and subsidize! The economy is doing really well? Increase taxes because you can afford it! There is rampant unemployment? Tax and give money to those who aren't even looking for jobs! Ol' Mrs. Landsbury can't afford prescription drugs? Force a $950 billion national health-care system on everyone, paid for with (of course) taxes.

Conversely, the Republican solution to everything is to cut taxes. Economy in the shitter? Cut taxes by $350 Billion! People out of work and unable to make mortgage payments? Here's a $400 check! That'll solve all your woes! Oh, and you fuckers making eight figures, here's more back in taxes than the average American grosses in a year. You're going to put that money back into the economy, right? Right?!

As one of the 'New Democrats', I feel like Republicans have somehow missed the last 15 years, where Democrats were responsible for getting a million people off the welfare rolls, reduced the size of the federal government, and was making the first concrete steps in a generation to pay down our, repeat OUR, national debt.

I'm not too much of a social issue kind of guy, what I care about is having our government surplus of 4.5 Trillion go to a defecit of 2.9 Trillian in just 2.5 years.

Conservatives say that they like a smaller federal government? Well guess what, Clinton managed to whittle it down to 18.5 percent of GDP. And now guess what Bush has done... increased it back up to 19.5. He'll have it back up past twenty and to Reagan-era levels pretty quickly at this rate.

A lot of americans can lull themselves into thinking this isn't going to bite them in the ass because interest rates are so low right now, but as soon as the economy picks back up, your mortgage rates, your loan payments, etc are going to balloon.

And what are the so-called conservatives (i can't really call them fiscal conservatives, now can i?) doing about it? Nothing, nothing at all (except blaming it on 'libs' and 'dems', lol)....

i <heart> revisionist history.

Just the facts, ma'am. Just the facts.

Sparhawk, you're my new best friend. yay! let's just let that money trickle down, trickle down, boys, because it worked every other time you tried. we may tax and spend, but at least while the government is taxing and spending, thing actually get funded decently, people get a decent education, and life, though taxed, is generally pretty good. Remember hearing about Hillsboro School District in Oregon? got 17 days cut? that's me.

There is a balance to everything.

right or left
dem or gop

vote according to the situation.

Fence stratler here...just to piss EVERYONE off.:D

Money is worthless until spent, therefore they will indeed spend it on something. You cant tell me that more taxes will help the economy by giving people less to spend can you??

The problem is you perception. Trickle down will work but it is long term. Liberals would rather solve the short term and fuck over the entire nation in the long run.

Remember when some dem. decided a tax on airplanes and yachts was a good idea? Remember how all those rich people forking over money to the economy through the airplanes and yachts stopped because of the tax? Remember how all those malual labor people got fucked over becasue the bottom droped out of the market do to that tax?

Yea THAT sounds like a good idea.....

But the point, krwlz, is that they won't spend it on goods or services, but on things like t bills and stocks and so forth. Helps you and me not all that much, even in the long run. Helps the government, helps big businesses, not you or I. Trickle down doesn't fucking work, my friend, no matter how much you think it does. Economists admit it doesn't work. It's voodoo. Liberals would rather feed people today than hope that the money trickles down before they starve. Yeah, there can be negative consequences to decisions. The difference between conservatives and liberals is conservatives want things the way they are, and liberals want them to change. It's easy to point out the negative aspects of change when you're pushing for no changes at all.

Since when have democrats or republicans brought this country anything but crap? Arguing that one is "better" than the other is pointless. The majority of both are businessmen out to further their own personal adgendas. Does anyone here really thing that either side really gives a flying fazola about you? Votes and Money...votes and money...

Besides, I don't like a system where its damn near impossible to speak to a representative face to face and see them in public like a friggin rock star (yeah, time restrictions, whatever - a represenatitve of ours had the time to go on a vacation on the dime of the RIAA)

I rest my case.