Dawson70

Ok, I undersstand that the differences between my generation and theirs is huge.
My first computer was a VIC20 and it took months to write the program to play a silly little game in SYNTAX.
Game Boy was not heard of and we picked up 3 TV stations.
When I was bored, or hung around the house pestering my parents, I was put to work on some stupid project.

Trying to get my kids outside to play, is like asking them to re-roof the house. My wife and I have limited thier computer time (1 hour per day), we turned off the cable for the summer, and have encouraged them to enjoy the great outdoors.
When I was a kid, the last place I wanted to be, was in the house.
I try to get them involved in activities (such as soccer or T-ball), which they do, but the seasons are so short.
Today is a great day here (74F with little humidity) and all they want to do is tear around the house or sit and watch a movie on the DVD. I try to get them started in games outside ( kick the can, or hide go seek), but with in a half hour, they are back in the house.
What else can I do?
They are driving me nuts.......

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former newt

how old are your kids?

as a teen myself, i vividly remember the stages of entertainment i went through till now. up until i was about 10 the only fun i could have was outdoors. back then, i had little patience for video games. running around, getting hurt, finding new things to do outside, this was my fun. after 10 i slowly grew away from playing outside. emphasis on slowly. unless it was some big game with lots of people or where i had a toy gun or something to throw or kick, i didn't have fun outside anymore. these days, i rarely go outside unless my friends organize a dodgeball game or something, and only if there are a lot of my friends involved. my entertainment now is bumming around on the computer. before my accident, i'd go over friends' houses everyday at night and, of course, stay inside and play poker or xbox or watch a movie. i still would enjoy playing a game in the dead of night, though. i guess that's a kid thing, too. night-tag is a favorite. but for the most part, i've noticed that as kids get older, they don't spend as much time outside.

as for your situation, i know first hand that when parents restrict what their kids are doing, the kids will desire that very thing even more. maybe you should try lifting those restrictions for a while. since it is summertime, if they play video games and sit on the computer with no restriction, they'll probably get bored. if that doens't work, then it would seem that your kids just aren't the type of people who like the outdoors, which isn't unusual in many people.

another possibility is that there aren't enough kids around for them to play with. like i said in my case, i don't enjoy something alone. i can't have fun unless there are a lotta people enjoying it with me.

of course, i'm not an adult anyway, so don't take my word as absolute truth. that's just my input.

Dawson70

Thanks for the reply,
If I lift the computer ban or the cable TV, they WILL NEVER leave the house. I know this first hand because that IS the reason we decided to do what we did.
We have given them just about every outdoor toy. Bikes, trucks, etc etc etc.
My kids are 3, 6 and 10. Perfect age for goofin outside and exploring thier surroundings.
Nothing seems to keep them outside for more than an hour at a time.
I'm lost in confusion

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shakran

Do what my mom always did. Tell 'em "get yer butt outside and I don't wanna see you until dinnertime."

Also, set up cool scenarios for 'em out there. Make up a quick treasure hunt that sends them all over the place to get clue after clue. Doesn't take much effort at all, but to a kid, it ROCKS, especially if they don't know it's you doing it

maleficent

Are we related? My mom said the same thing... All the time...

No way would we have been allowed to stay in the house...

-------

Are their neighbor kids for them to play with? It might just be boredom playing wiht each other.

If I was 10, I surely wouldn't want to be playing with a 6 year old and a3 year old.. not without getting paid for babysitting... Playing by yourself gets boring.

Are you out there with them? Or do you get them started and then leave them -- that's when they come back in side -- maybe they want to spend time playing with you...

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Dawson70

Thanks for the replies.
The one thing that was mentioned above, is no, there are not alot of kids in the neighborhood. We are considered to live in the "ritzy" part of town and most of the kids that do live here, go to Private School and my kids don't know them. I have often wondered where those kids play? I never see them around or about either. We have a real nice common area behind our subdivison that is great. It is about 5 acres of field and all the houses back up to it. I can see most of it thru my kitchen window and I am always looking for other kids to introduce to mine. I never seem to find them.
I have done the treasure hunt thing in the past and they seem to get bored with that too.
Keep em coming folks!

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shakran

No, we just grew up before the 90's. Atari could only keep us occupied for so long before we got bored and went outside.

that common area - when I was a kid we went out and made a kick ASS dirt bike course in our common area. Had jumps, bunnyhills, everything. Maybe put that bug in their ear.

maleficent

oh that brings back memories-- we had a skateboard ramp (a small one -but when you are 9 it looked big)- that was so much fun... kids would come from blocks away to skateboard or skooter on our ramp -

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maleficent

Got trees? Big Sturdy trees? Put up a tire swing - more than one - -that was always good for some entertainment.

Build a tree house --

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GarthInPittsburgh

Like newt I am a teen right now. When I was a kid my parents wouldn't try and force us outside, they would rather just tell us that we should do something else. I can really explain it but... i mean, I guess its just a generational gap because before my best friend moved away him his brother his two sisters my sister and me would always be outside.

When they first got sega we would play for maybe an hour at a time and his mom would just say no more sega...

I guess its different because i really wasn't an abid TV watcher, and still watch barely any TV.

You are doing all the right things... limiting their time and such, but you have got to find SOME way of making the outdoors seem fun. I mean, do you have A/C in the house? If worst comes to worst turn it off. Have bbq's frequently and eat outside. Take them to parks for hours where they CANT go back inside.

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Dawson70

Hmmmm....a dirt track in the common area......that just might work. Sladeddd...thanks for your comments as well.
The A/C hardley runs here. We are in WIsconsin and isn't need much. But I see your point.

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joeb1

I feel your pain dawson70. I had our 11 year old son helping me repair the lawnmower this weekend. It was a beautiful day. He looks at me and says, " I think I am going to go inside and watch TV"
My reply, "Why don't you stay out here and help me? I sure could use the help."
His reply, "No im going in to play video games... I'm bored"
My reply, "If you go inside, you will be put on restrictions!"
His reply, "How long?"

I grew up not wanting to be inside. He is obviously the opposite. My daughter on the other hand. (3 years younger) You can't keep her inside. I guess every kid is different.

Maybe you don't see kids in the common area because they are all playing on the computer, or watching TV.

I like to bribe mine with freeze pops. They know when I go out side to do yard work, work in the garage. Daddy has a refrigerator in the garage. I keep freeze pops in there. Most of the times when I can get them to help with whatever I am doing. I will offer them one. But getting them to go out by themselves is another story.

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raeanna74

Well you can always send them over here. Then when they go outside your youngest can let me cat out again and they can all help me hunt her down in the trees out back.

I've seen that your kids as well as my daughter are addicted to TV. When there's other kids around as sometimes is the case here they will stay outside much longer. In fact last time they were here your eldest was outside for about 2 or 3 hours (can't exactly remember but it was at least 2 hours) and the others were in and out a lot.

Sometimes I'll turn on CMT on the TV. Gives me music and "occupies" the TV. My daughter doesn't bug me to use it then. I find if I go out with my daughter she'll stay out longer. If I'm inside on the computer or just putsing around the house she'll inevitably migrate to the computer or television.

Then there's the sandbox. That works wonders for my daughter. When I had a small sandbox here she was ALWAY in that thing. Rain or shine practically. I'm sure your youngest would find it just as facinating as they seem to share similar interests.

When I put up the simple swing here my daughter gravitated toward outside even when she was completely alone out there. It was almost a chore to keep her inside in the morning just so I could shower without her wandering away.

In the end it will be a constant battle I think. I sometimes find myself drawn to the TV and especially the computer instead of doing what I should around the house, going out and getting excercise, or being productive in some way.

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98MustGT

Grab the ball, glove and bat and go play with them.

Derwood

Unfortunately, this sounds like a situation where you are trying to undo a behavioral pattern that you helped to enable in the first place. Hindsight would say that you should've restricted their computer/TV/playstation time all along so that taking it away wouldn't be such a big deal. But moving forward, I would say that you have a few options:

1-Participate in outdoor stuff with them. If they are used to defaulting to indoor activities when they are bored, they probably don't know how to have fun outdoors. They probably won't know how to have fun right away (since there are not joysticks outside). Help them learn how to have fun.

2-Make "indoor fun" not be an option. If it comes right down to it, you may have to say "If you're inside, you're staring at a wall, because you can't watch TV, play videogames, or be on the computer when the sun is out."

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sexymama

^Better yet, if you're inside, I have plenty of chores for you to do. Then make them do the chores prior to any other indoor "fun" activities.

Ditto on going out and playing with them. A water fight is a good idea.

Invite school friends and other friends/relatives over to play.

Host a neighborhood barbaque. It could be many of your neigbors are looking for kids for their kids to play with. My kids spend the majority of their time outside with the neighbor kids. It works well as all the parents are watching out for all the kids. I'd say we know 80% of our neighbors too and we've only lived here 2 years.

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Spritebox

I remember when I was a kid, I would watch TV all the time. I never wanted to go outside. Then again, I was an only child and none of my friends lived within 5 miles of me.

I watched TV/played video games a hefty bit until my junior year of high school. I went to Paris for the summer and when I came back, I told my mom to cancel cable. I haven't watched TV for 2 years. It feels great.

I still play video games. NHL Hockey 2k5 + 3 buds = good times.

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Xenomorph

The 'no other kids to play with' problem here is the central issue.

When I was a whippersnapper of a single-digit age (or could remember such days as recent events) I had two friends in my neighborhood that were my constant comrades-in-arms throughout growing up, as well as a brother who's not even 2 years younger than me. Between the four of us and the occasional meetings we had with other kid-cells from a street or two over, there was always something going on. We would go to each others houses and play our brand-new 8-bit Nintendo systems for quite a while, but for every time we hunkered down in front of Mario or the Ninja Turtles, there was another adventure cooked up. We'd go out and run along our neighborhood's pathetic little sewer-creek, organize progressively larger-scale games of hide and seek, tag-wars and whatnot, or hang out at one of the trees that had enough perches for all of us.

Then everyone moved away. As the young couples scraping to raise their little infants became middle-aged people with bulging wallets, my friends' parents got themselves better houses when we were all 12 or 13. By the time I was getting into middle school, my brother and I were pretty much the only ones left and there wasn't too much to do outside, so we basically just played Nintendo until we could drive.

My parents sat me down from time to time and kept telling me that 'there was a whole world out there' and that I should 'pursue some of my other interests' or 'take some time off of the Nintendo', but other than the 15 minutes of recess I got during the school day and the occasional playdate with a friend outside the neighborhood, video games were far and away the most interesting activities I had available to me. My parents would ban me from them from time to time and actually kept with a one hour of non-academic computer time a day for quite a while, but nothing really came of it. Getting me off the computer didn't magically bring my friends back to the neighborhood, so I wasn't going back outside just to stare at the grass.

That's my story. If you want to get your kids out in the dirt on outdoor adventures, try to hook them up with a few friends in your area. My parents were actually pretty heavy-handed in getting me acquainted with the other boys my age in the neighborhood, although I obviously couldn't detect it at the time. It's a lot easier for a group of rowdy little post-toddler, pre-pre-teens to occupy themselves playing a game at the common ground or in the driveway than it is for them to have to wait for their turn at a controller...unless they've all got their own controllers and don't know each other.

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The Phenomenon

I'll tell you one thing: I hated it when my parents tried to limit my computer time etc.

I ignored them and was on the computer every chance I got and I have a great job today as a software developer because of my tinkering on the computer. And hour a day is VERY VERY little and unfair IMO.

The fact of the matter is that back when you were a kid there just weren't such interesting things to do inside the house as there is now. Instead of 3 channels, they have 100s, which means that the chances of there being something on that they want to watch is much greater.

When you were a kid computers did not exist in the mainstream household, or it was way backwards tech in comparison with to day. Which means that was less fun than computers are today.

Nowadays there is way more fun to be had indoors than outdoors.

You grew up in very different, much simpler times. Expectinbg your kids to be ike you were, and to have the same needs and preferences that you had when you were a kid is unreasonable. They are living in a very different world from the one you grew up in.

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StickODynomite

I have always been the type of person that would rather be outside doing something fun than being stuck in the house for hours and hours looking at a computer screen. I can only handle that so long. And TV? Blah, unless its Nip/Tuck, Fear Factor, Comedy Central, the Simpsons, or The OC---It's pretty boring.

I just dont undestand it. My brother always wants to be infront of the computer. I tell him to go outside and run a mile or something, to get fit for the ladies. He tells me he's not fat.

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slimshaydee

Like others have said, there was alot less to do inside 'back in the good old days'. Kids had to make their own fun. I'm only 20 myself, back back when I was a youngin' (well moreso) I only had 3 channels, but I had a nintento aswell. During the holidays I would never be inside though, because in my area there were lots of other kids around, and everyone always wanted to do stuff. Plus it also helped that my parents would give us money to get us out of the house for the day

SiNai

Ah, and this was my mom's greatest trick. Worked really well, I would run outside instantly instead of cleaning my room..

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JStrider

man when i was a kid the best places were the undeveloped areas... me and my friend would spend whole days running around all the ditches/canals(water drainage things) in my neighberhood in houston... and we even would run up the big drainage pipes and stuff and see how far they went...

we went thru the ditches so much we had worn bike trails thru some of them...
i didnt have cable tv... did have a computer... and games for it... but those didnt keep me all that entertained back then...


I think the biggest part that made all the outside time was the 1 or 2 friends that I was always with...

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forehead

As a parent of 2, 1 girl (6) and a boy (2), I agree that kids need to go outside and play and I have to agree that we, as parents should go and play with our kids. But lets face it in the technological world we live in computers and computure related gadets have increasing brought our children indoors. I encourage my daughter to go and play outside in the driveway or on the swing set. But my wife and I agree to let our child go off by themselves wont happen, b/c there are too many nut cases out there who abduct children.

aerozeppelin

As long as you keep your kids in shape, I don't see a need to be outside. There is no magical social development that occurs outside without other kids out there, plus most parents don't want their kids assosciating with random kids unnanounced nowadays (understandably).

I really think its a generational gap - many of my fondest childhood memories are playing videogames with my friends/family.

If you really want them outside, follow the time tested formula - just add violence. Super soakers, lazer tag, toy guns, etc... were the only things that got me outside as a kid. Other than that, without a few other kids their age to play with outside, there isn't much to do in the out of doors.

FYI, I'm 18 at the moment, so I'm fairly recent. Turned out pretty well, too - my Princeton app goes in on monday.

sillygirl

We always jumped on our big ol' trampoline, swam, etc. I was a big tree climber. Have you tried taking them on a simple hike, or on a picnic? Make a big deal out of the picnic somehow.

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The Magic

It seems lack of friends may be an issue.
When I was about 9-11 I lived in an apartment complex with a bunch of kids my age. There was a shaded tree area with dirt hills great for our bikes, the road was very steep which made rollerblading and bikes even more fun, and tons of berry bushes that we enjoyed just beating down with sticks -- we made a path where you could walk ON the bushes that have been beaten down (a foot or so off the ground).

Later I moved to another apartment complex not too far away (a mile or so) but there were hardly any kids my age. The place was much more nice, but that meant that there were only really grass hills and a play ground. I was bored as hell that summer and spent my days inside watching TV. Hell, I even watched previews on pay per view to the new James Bond movie over and over.

That's not to say I wasn't inside before. I was just getting into Final Fantasy VI, Chrono Trigger, and I had sega channel. So I did spend a lot of time inside still.

If you can't get your kids to play inside, maybe just put them to productive means inside. Get the 10 year old interested in reading and find some good novels. Reading will make a drastic difference in his/her writing skills and reading skills during high school. Easier said than done, but ya never know.

Bikes/Rollerblades/Basketball hoop are always good investments. Maybe try to do sports all year round. Soccer in fall, basketball (wrestling maybe for the 10 year old) in winter, baseball during spring. Camps or something for summer.

twotimesadingo

Absolutely the biggest problem is the lack of friends in the immediate vicinity. And having the idea that your ten-year old will want to play with his six-year old brother, much less the two-year old toddler is inimical to solving the you're dilemma. Before you can determine activities, you need to line your kids up with at least one friend their age. If it takes hopping in a car for an hour every day to truck your kids about to other houses - or to bring kids to yours - you need to saddle up and do it. It is the epitome of unfair to restrict the things that keep them occupied if you know they have no other option which they enjoy.
The point here is that the things you enjoyed as a kid don't mean diddly. They like what they like. What you want to do is provide options and environment. And, as mentioned, the first step here is people with whom your children can enjoy new experiences. How you solve that... no idea. Someone mentioned a neighborhood barbeque, but that doesn't seem like it'll do much if you're in the ritzy section of town. I'm sure there are ways, however..

I'm only twenty-one, so I can't say much from a parent's perspective - in fact, I can't say anything - but I can give you some advice that's only a decade or so old.

Sillygirl mentioned a trampoline. Trampolines are the shizne. Seriously. But, they need company. I can't jump solo on a trampoline for more than ten minutes without being bored.
Someone mentioned guns. If they're guys, they'll like guns. It actually will translate well from some of the videogames I'm sure they play. But again, company is a necessity.
Wiffleball. There's not a person in the world who doesn't enjoy wiffleball. This is a fact. Granted, some people don't know they like wiffleball, but that's because they haven't been in the correct wiffleball environment. The rule here is to add: (5) friends of various ages, (2) parents, (1) giant pitcher of lemonade, (3) pizzas, (1) setting sun and cool summer night, (1) stereo in which the team at bat can choose the music.

Etc, etc. The real point here is that they need some close friends. Even one for each child will get them through years. Everyday from age 9 to 16 (I was the first to get a car) I rode my bike at least 2.5 miles to see one friend or another.

edited: i'm a moron who misplaces modifiers.

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shaggs_manoa

Well as a father of a seven year old girl I hardly see her during the day. She heads outside as soon as me and the wife get out of bed and only shows up at lunch if it is our turn to feed the neighborhood gang. yes neighborhood gang. about six kids that are as tight as can be and all of us take turns feeding them during the weekends/summer just easier that way. I think that is the key to her being outside all day. We have actually had to ground her a couple of times for staying out past dark.

The whole point of this is the friends thing. We live on a military base and damn near every house has at least one or two kids in it. If the're no kids in the area you may have to take them to organized play groups or the city park/pool. Bring a book and chill. No need to introduce them to other kids, put them in the same area and kids become instant friends. (Then again my kid is a natural extrovert like me)


good luck

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Ustwo

This is a wee bit late of a reply, but maybe you need to do the activities with them for a while.

My outdoor passion as a child was fishing, and the first time I went was with my father and grandfather. Fishing was horrible, I think we caught one fish, but thats all it took. I've always had a love of the water, and fishing after that, but I wonder if I would have, had I not gone on that first fishing trip?

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Dawson70

Thigs have changed since I started this thread. Since we have moved to SoCal....we landed in a neat subdivision in the Inland Empire. We have room for our horses and there a ton of kids here. I haven't seen much of my kids......huh......kind of miss them??

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Yippie Ki Ya...

miteyfrustrated

I am in need of some help. I found this forum because I was searching for some answers. I have 3 children. 2 of them (14 and 9) are outgoing and make friends really easy. My 11 yr old son, is not outgoing and is overweight. I have tried and tried to make him go outside to play, just like when I was a kid. I could not be keep inside. It was boring. I also have limited his time on the computer, TV etc... There are a few kids in the neighborhood to play with, but he just wants to stay inside. He does not want to leave my side and cries when I leave him for a few minutes to go to the store. I know he is a mama's boy, however, I have had enough of all this crying and whining from him. He acts like he is a baby and I can not take much more of it. I have went outside with him and tried to play. I have tried to help him make friends, his older brother has tried to get him to go places with him. My new marriage is in trouble because all my 11 yr old wants to do is stay in the house and be around us. What in the world can I do? Please help. Please give me something that I have not tried. I have read books on building self-esteem and alot of the parenting books. I have even asked my parents what to do. I feel like I want to yell at him, which is not the right thing to do. SO, what else? Please help

jorgelito

Where is the father? Does he have a male role model? Do not coddle him, you are just enabling his whiny behaviour. I know it's hard but we have to stop this wussification of America. We are setting up our kids for failure.

Send him to day camp in your town (local recreation centers, YMCA, church) or send him away to overnight camp. If worse comes to worse, send him to a military style boot camp for the summer or military school.

Don't worry, it's not too late, there's still time to help him.

Good luck.

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ngdawg

He's 11 and cries when you leave?
The things you're describing are things you've allowed to happen. His overweightedness can be controlled by what you bring into the house and then set limits.
You've allowed him to hang around you and I'm betting it's because you gave in to the whining. That has to stop. Be the parent. Make rules and don't deviate.
He doesn't want to go outside? Too bad. Hand him a book, a broom, a watering can, show him the door and tell him he can come in in an hour.
If he whines, don't give in! You might ask him why he whines, start up a conversation about it, but at 11 years old, whining shouldn't part of the day and giving in because it drives you nuts shouldn't be either.

miteyfrustrated

His father died before he was born. I tried to provide him with positive male models, and they did not need succeed. The current role model, and it seems everyone else around my son just gets annoyed. I pay my son plenty of attention and I guess he looks at it like, negative attention is better than none. Like I said the problem is, No one can stand to be around him for to long. As far as coddling him, maybe in the beginning I was. I try not to. I tell him to grow up and act his age. He is a very smart kid, with an 11.7 math level and he thinks outside play is not for him. Shoot, tonight I went outside with him and his daughter to do yardwork. Now after we eat dinner going to go to the park so they can play and maybe meet some other kids. We live in a small time, as far as day camp, the closest thing we have is Vacation Bible School at night. We do have a military base not far from here, so maybe that is the option. I just want what is best for him and for him to succeed at whatever he does, except I do not want him to be some kind of couch potato with no morals, beliefs or weighing in at 900 pounds because he is too lazy to do something else. I have not shown him this behavior. I work hard and have instilled in all of my children the benefits of hard work. I am not lazy and I thought they would follow suit. All of them have, except the one that I am talking about.
Thank you, I will look into something for him to do during the day. I just dont want him thinking I am rejecting him. I am doing this out of love for him and his future.
-----Added 22/7/2008 at 08 : 11 : 26-----
I am not making any excuses for his behavior. About a month ago he was involved in a rollover accident and has not been the same since. Been looking into some psychiatric help.. Not sure if that is what I need to do. I know that I have gave in to his whining and I am done with it. I have had it up to my ears with this and I am putting my foot down. He cries when he has to be outside. This morning it was raining, not cold and I told him and his sister to go play in it. I did it when I was a kid, why not do it and enjoy it. I did give him an option this afternoon, I will not make it fun to be inside anymore. Chores, first and then outside as long as it is nice and not storming. I know it is my fault. Now is it to late to change it?

jorgelito

Hang in there and best of luck to you. Take care.

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RetroGunslinger

Lazy? It's what we DO man!

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Lasereth

MAKE him go to the YMCA or to another gym. Take him with you if you have to and watch him do it. Make him exercise and left weights.

I grew up being an insecure, overweight teenager and it ruined my life. I was so self conscious and insecure that I had a hard time with many social situations, especially girls or other guys that I perceived as better than myself.

One way to eliminate this altogether is to boost his self confidence. That happens through exercise and weight training and it will definitely work. Getting him to stick to it will be hard but it is worth it. He will go into middle school and high school with a big confidence boost when he sees that he's just as fit, attractive, and strong as the other guys. No, 11 isn't too young for hitting the gym.

Leto

we have restrictions, plus my wife is stay at home, so if the kids (ages 18, 15 & 10) desire to mope around the house, they get to do a chore. I love not having to clean the cat's box, empty the garbage, cut the grass or do laundry when I get home.

They don't get to use electronics until after 4 pm. Any electronics, unless they want to use one of their DS's or PSP's or ipods etc. They all have bikes, there's a swimming pool, no, 3 swimming pools within 2 kms of our house, plus a beach with a boardwalk 2700 metres from our house.

I tell them that if they are bored, it's their fault. They get the message quick. Yesterday, the youngest roamed the neighbourhood with his friends all day, the middle son took off on the subway to go downtown and Harbourfront with his friends while the oldest read a book.

When I got home, they were helping their mother set out dinner, and bbqing chicken.

Otherwise, we have enrolled them into the odd camp (sailing, hockey and cyber-graphic s).

School's going to come soon and then they will be dreaming of being bored.

abaya

This sounds like a great system. Will have to keep it in mind for the future abaya-ktsps.

I just don't see how kids can get so housebound these days... where is the interest in the world around them? I mean, I was a bookhound as a kid, and I had my share of Atari/Nintendo (the first one) brief addictions, but otherwise I was out building tree forts and playing the sprinkler whenever I could. I wonder if I would be more bored now, growing up in this generation, given all the technological gizmos that are there to keep kids stuck on the couch now.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran