Nancy

I'm dead curious to know when you guys felt that it was the right time to have children... in my case I'm neutral as it is at the moment. One part of me wants to have children some day but the other half doesn't. I wonder if it'll change as I grow older??

What about you guys? Have you always felt like having children or has the feeling gotten stronger as you got older? Or was it perhaps a speciel event of some kind that made you decide that now was the right time?

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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy.
I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

sexymama

This may sound weird, but for me it was all about a gut feeling -- I just knew. I certainly wouldn't worry about it. When/If you are with the right person and in the right circumstances, you'll know.

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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

Nancy

I am with the right person! But like I said one part of me wants to have kids one day but the other half doesn't. But something tells me that it's only a matter of time before my instincts takes over and persuades me to get some hehe

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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy.
I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

agball

This is coming from a guy, but after my wife & I got married, we both agreed to enjoy each other for a few years before having children. We ended up waiting 3 years before having our first and during those years we had great fun traveling, partying etc. There are some questions you need to answer for yourself:

- Am are ready for a life change? - Being a parent is the most rewarding, frustruating and challenging experience.

- Do I feel that I am financially stable enough for children?

- I don't know your age, but as time passes, the risk of pregnency complications goes up.

All I can say is that after having children, I have had some of the greatest experiences in my life.

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"A friend with weed is a friend indeed"

gibingus

there is never a "right" time. i was just having this conversation with a colleague. there is always a good reason to put it off: have to make more money, get a bigger house, move to a better neighborhood, get more established... blah, blah, blah.

maybe the only right time is when you are mature enough to put your child's life first and your own second.

although there is something to be said for the biological complications and increased risks that start occuring for women after 35.

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if everyone is thinking alike, chances are no one is thinking.

Nancy

wooowww. This thread isn't about me but about you guys

But never the less I totally agree with what you're saying. I've always said that I wouldn't have children unless I was mature enough, old enough, fully qualified and earning a decent living and of course living with man that I know for certain will be a great father

__________________
I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy.
I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

:::OshnSoul:::

When it feels right and you have the money. Simple as that- follow your heart.

Redjake

the right time to have children is when your wife gets pregnant accidently

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Off the record, on the q.t., and very hush-hush.

:::OshnSoul:::

^^that, too. lol- that happened with us, but I am glad I did!

There is no real "right time" but you will know what is "right to you", however. Right is a relative term. It can be different for everyone.

Nancy

True. For some people - but certainly not all i think

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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy.
I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

thenewguy

I wanted to be a father for my whole life but I had this active drug addiction that seemed to take up alot of my time. Once I was relieved of that daily burden, I looked for a mother. When I found (and married) her, I wanted to make sure we had the same values so that having kids wouldn't drive us apart, but would bring us together. And finally, I wanted to have enough $$ to be comfortable.
As luck would have it (although I don't believe that at all), everything fell into place pretty quickly once the drugs stopped and the right relationship started.

My son is 15 months old. If I could post a picture of him here I would.

My advice to you, Nancy, is to be very specific about what you think it will take. Then - as has already been suggested - follow your heart. You will be stunned at how dramatic the experience is.

Good luck!

clavus

It is NEVER the right time. There is always "just one more thing" you need to do first.

Jump in. Swimming will come to you.

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Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

tecoyah

yup!

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

angelkitten1

While I agree with this partially, I also believe that you shouldn't have a child just because one day you decide you want one. There's so much to consider. You have to know that you'll be able to care for this child, also.

I agree that you need to follow your heart. Some day I want a child, but it scares the piss out of me to think of having one right now. There's so much more about life that I want to learn, so much more I want to accomplish and experience.

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Love, me

spiderman

Preface:Non-parent at work!!!

Part of me wants to scream at people to please not overpopulate the earth. At the same time, I don't feel like I have the right to limit individual happiness. Lastly, I don't find it fair that some folks take it upon themselves to personally overpopulate their own living spaces. If you have 5 or more, please stop now...or don't...whatever.

Rant finished.

I have several friends with new children. 2 out of the 3 I'm thinking of now had children a few minutes before they were 'ready', and they are doing just fine. I wouldn't be surprised if the folks that tend to experience this are already pretty used to reacting to change 'on the fly'. As with most of your life, being prepared means adapting to your situation.

My advice: See the world. Experience life. Have a child or two... Love them to the extremes of possibility. Die happy.

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Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.

Apache

Well unfortunately I don't have kids yet either but I KNOW that i'm ready now. My husband and I have been married 4 and a half years now and even though I knew I always wanted kids I've just really had it on my mind for the last year. If it had happened early on in our marriage or even before that, that would have been ok too, but now it just feels right. We've had time for just the two of us and now I feel it's the right time to start our family.