Ah, the revenge fuck. But you are right, it probably wouldn't be worth it. Ben, keep your head up. It sounds like you are on the right track. I am sorry things had to go down for you like that. Our thoughts are with you.

Does his wife know about the affair? If she doesn't just make sure that she does.

You are going through exactly what I went through 2 years ago.

DO NOT MOVE OUT

If the law where you are is anything like it is in the UK, KEEP THE HOUSE. She cheated, she must pay.

If you walk away now, you have already given it up - do not put her in a possition where she has all the cards.

If you end up in court she's gonna be allowed to keep it all, and all you get is some cash, and if it doesn't end up in court you got the house already.

She can sleep in the spare room - hell, she can sleep with the stud from work if she must - but she certainly shouldn't sleep in the bed that you are paying for.

Look after yourself - she's already shown that she's looking after herself, not you - emulate her.

Be safe, and if you MUST smash stuff - go out into the yard and bash crockery wiith a hammer. Shouting at her will get you in crap with the law faster than anything except belting her in the head.

Thoughts go with you.

Of course that assumes that the counselling fails (it probably will - it generally does).

Liked the comment about "unknown futures". My unknown future and I will be getting married later this year, and I'm several million times better off than I would have been if i'd not got rid of the wife.

And as for her - she's living at her mum's with her jobless bankrupt BF.... :S

I am truly sorry to read about this in your life. My wife of 17 years has a "1 strike & you're out" mindset. If I fooled around on her and she found out, I'm out. Whether or not it was for good would depend on her ability to forgive me. I doubt however I'd ever regain her trust again. The main question to you is whether or not you can forgive & move ahead? The other point; get qualified legal advice. At least find out what is in front of you should you be unable to get past this.

Lastly, why should you pack up & go anywhere? At least that was what it seemed to indicate you were planning. Were my wife to do this to me, well before we hit the counseling stage she'd find all her stuff curbside in dark green garbage bags. I'm not saying I'd want to stay in the place we shared either, but neither would she. Petty, I know but magnanimous considering the circumstances. You could pour oil-based paint into each of the bags rather than leave them for her retrieval.

soundmotor