lordkos

I NEED hugs

thalakos315

hugs seems to be a little overused in today's society i think. to often i've been hugged by somebody who's name i couldn't remember for the life of me. it throws me offguard, and makes me wonder what i did that made this person decide it was ok to hug me.
that being said.. after the second meeting, with at least a reasonably personal conversation, i'm perfectly fine to be hugged by a female.. for guys, you have to be close enough to be family.

i don't think i need hugs, don't get them often enough to be able to tell guess i'm just not a huggable person :P

cierah

I have never (until recently) understood why ppl like to be touched/hugged but I understand now for yesterday I had an urge to be hugged which has never happened to me before. Thank you, wise ones, for teaching me.

ryborg

Are you kidding, a hug would do me a world of good right now.

__________________
Solve two problems at once. Feed the homeless to the hungry.

cellophanedeity

I really enjoy physical contact, in all pleasent and playful forms. My family is very hug oriented, and so I suppose I was brought up with hugs as a key component to life. In grade two we had the "two hugs a day" program (before the world went crazy?) where on our way into class and out of class for the day, we'd line up and give our wonderful teacher a giant hug before we left. It wasn't manditory or anything, but it was nice.

I tend to use hugs to display true affection for someone. Not just as a greeting to everyone, but as something more. If I really like you then I'll hug you, unless I get the vibe that you don't want to be touched.

My ex, who is also my best friend, does not like being hugged at all. After we broke up, he would flinch at any contact from anyone. I think he's getting better now, but I understand where all of the non-huggers are coming from.

TroutKind

Hugs are great. It is such a good feeling to hug and be hugged. It is a bond that is innocent but yet still rewarding.

Demeter

Do I need hugs? Only from my man on a bad day. If I'm having a hard time with life/work/stress I would require more attention. If things are good, I can pass on the hugs.

__________________

I am not bound to please thee with my answers.
William Shakespeare

little_tippler

I just came across this thread again...it's been a while. But hugs are always good to talk about. So I'm bumping it!

What do hugs mean to you? To me, hugs establish a closeness that is not only physical but also emotional. I only hug people I truly like, so to me it's a show of affection and consideration, not just something I hand out randomly.

My position on hugs has not changed. If I had to go without hugs for a very long time, I'd feel sad. It's not a necessity...but it can make a big difference in your life. Right now, I'd like to have at least one meaningful hug per day, thank you

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Poppinjay

Ten positive touches a day have been shown to be very beneficial to the psyche.

I don't know if that includes touching yourself.

__________________
I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

snowy

I love hugs. Yes, I need hugs. They make me feel good!

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

YaWhateva

I absolutely need hugs. Mostly from people I am close with. I haven't had a hug in quite some time though, and that makes me very sad.

__________________
“If the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it's clean, he has nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush administration again.” - Bill O'Reilly

"This is my United States of Whateva!"

Punk.of.Ages

I love hugs. My life would be quite empty without them.

I've always felt that a hug is an ultimate sign of trust. Think about the position in which you put your body in order to give a hug. You walk close to somebody and put your arms out wide, exposing every vulnerable part of your body to them. You're showing that you are comfortable leaving yourself completely unprotected to them because you trust that they won't take advantage of that.

So, to me, a hug is a very important gesture of affection that I reserve for people I truly trust.

__________________
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Cynthetiq

absolutely. I can have the worst day ever, and just a hug from my wife can make me feel infinitely better.

We can say to each other,"I need one..." and we knows exactly what the other is talking about.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

inBOIL

I don't need hugs, though they are nice when they're from someone with whom I have an intimate relationship. I'm mostly indifferent to them when they're from family or close female friends, but everyone else needs to back the hell off.

A hug is an expression of emotional closeness, and since I rarely feel that connection to others, hugging is awkward. I won't refuse a hug from a casual acquaintance, since doing so is more trouble than it's worth, but I will just go through the motions, rather than give a real hug when I don't mean it.

__________________
And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

LoganSnake

I like hugs, but I could live without one.

__________________
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

mixedmedia

YES. I need one right now as a matter of fact.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Bear Cub

Not much for hugs. I'll take an inappropriate grope, please.

__________________
Living in the United Socialist States of America.

Jetée

I love being able to identify with another so definitely that at times, it's uncanny. Precise mindset interconnection.

I don't need hugs, though it is not to say I will not want or accept one when presented. It is somewhat like saying I NEED to condition my hair after the shampoo rinse. I wouldn't mind it if I had some conditioner on hand, but I am not actively seeking it out, nor am I despaired when I don't have any. A casual indifference, it would seem.

__________________
As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

Meditrina

If this is true for all hugs, then my mom must not be emotionally close to people. She pushes away as she hugs you. It's kinda feels like "I'll hug you, if I have to".

There are many times when I just need a hug, usually after a rough day. But it has to be from someone I am very close to. Usually it's my husband, or one of the kids.

I don't think I could live without hugs. I wouldn't want to live without hugs. They are a great way of showing someone you love that you love them, when you don't have the words to express it. and sometimes, actions speak louder than words.

__________________
"Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

mixedmedia

Some hugs are definitely better than others.
-----Added 12/8/2008 at 10 : 16 : 29-----
Warm, unexpected hugs from people you hardly know can sometimes be the best hugs of all.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

noodle

i need hugs from people i love.
i need that closeness and comfort, whether given or received.
i do NOT need those weird, half-hearted things from people i don't know or don't like that seem to be socially mandated in some situations.
i generally don't like to be touched by people that i don't know and more specifically, those that i don't like.
but i'll shake his or her hand, if it appears that i will be rude if i don't.
but from my man, or my dad or my close guy friends especially, i love 'em.

and sometimes a hug from a kid makes everything a little more sparkly.



and a big one for MM.

__________________

mixedmedia

awww, thank you, noodle

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

thespian86

I literally love hugs. I love hugs so much that I think I need help.

__________________
EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

roadkill

Hugs are vital to be happy.

ItWasMe

I love hugs from my kids and husband. In fact, I probably overwhelm them at times. But for most of the population, I prefer to keep my personal space free and clear.

__________________
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .


"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

mixedmedia

I'll take all the hugs that ya'll don't want.

I'll hug anybody.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Bear Cub

That bear is deliciously evil!

__________________
Living in the United Socialist States of America.

ASU2003

I don't know when the last time I got a hug was. And I know that I have never initiated hugging someone else.

This might be a problem...

jewels

Always err on the side of hugs.

Wants vs needs? I need them just as much as I need oxygen. I might want more than I do get, but that's different.

If I don't feel our relationship warrants it or if you creep me out, I might slap you if you get too close. I've had people attempt to hug me because they saw me hug another or others and they were confused when I pushed them away. But if we do have an immediate bond of any type, we'll always be huggers.

And friendship hugs are different than lover hugs. Kids, parent and sibling hugs are different, too. I guess each person kinda gets his/her own special brand of hug.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

Ayashe

I enjoy hugs, I just don't care for it when people I hardly know have this need to hug me. Sure, I will hug them back, but when I met you five minutes ago and barely know your name it is not really necessary. Then it is this awkward and obligatory hug-back.