What is undying, unconditional love?

[ChickenMuffin]

What does it mean?

[Xerxys]

Bend over I'll show you.

[G~man]

Erica Jong says it best...“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it….It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk everything, you risk even more.”
- Erica Jong

[Xerxys]

"Oh Peter, unconditional love is not real love." - Angela Petrelli.

[Willravel]

Unconditional love means just what it says. You love the person regardless of actions or circumstances. And that's okay. Unconditional love doesn't mean staying with someone who's abusive or obsessing over someone that's left, it just describes simple love.

[Plan9]

Only dogs are capable of unconditional love.

[dlish]

woof!

bend over and i'll show you

[noodle]

I believe in unconditional love.
I feel it.
It's unconditional like that's a whole lotta bullshit.

[Amaras]

Unconditional love is a viral disease from which the infected do not wish to be cured.

[Baraka_Guru]

It is a deep, untiring compassion for all living beings.

[Amaras]

Originally Posted by Amaras

Unconditional love is a viral disease from which the infected do not wish to be cured.

But a great thing, nonetheless.

[snowy]

This is a topic that reminded me of this article:

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/healin...-relationship/

Can Pets Improve Your Relationship?
By Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP

We hardly need to look at the research to verify that pets do good things for people physically and emotionally. What is interesting in my work with couples is that although couples may vehemently disagree on most topics, they usually both soften in manner and tone to agree that the dog, cat, bird or horse is great.

In fact, if there is any criticism, it is the verbalized wish to receive the kind of love and attention the pet is getting.

“I only wish she was as affectionate with me as with our dog!”

“You should hear him speak to this animal – he never speaks to me that way.”

What happens between people and their pets that accounts for this emotional outpouring of love?

Most will answer with the responses you have heard or given:

“The dog demands nothing from me – he just gives unconditional love.”

“The cats are a predictable source of comfort and soothing – they want to be near me.”

Pets? Not demanding? Predictable? … Really?

What’s interesting is that most pets are loved in a way that makes us minimize or even deny the reality that they definitely have demands we simply accept. Some will only eat certain food; many wake people in the middle of the night; most get sick on the rug; some eat furniture and a vast majority end up on the bed no matter what anyone says.   click to show 

In one case, when the dalmatian was found eating the steak that had been marinating on the counter for dinner, the husband’s only reaction was “Might as well give him the vegetables and potatoes, and let him finish off the meal.”

Can we learn something from our relationship with pets that might enhance our relationship with partners?

Yes, if we are willing to take a closer look at ourselves.

The old expression “you get what you give” may apply here. Maybe you give something very positive to your pet that invites the unconditional love and connection that makes you feel so good. Maybe it has potential to enhance your relationship.

Can you credit yourself with any of the following?

Greetings

No matter how you feel or what mood you are in, you greet your pet with a positive, even animated, hello and often with a display of physical affection.

Expectations

With pets, maybe it’s your lack of expectation that makes the difference. You probably rarely predict that your pet will be angry if you are late. As a result, you don’t head home defensively angry in preparation for the reaction you expect to face.

Holding Grudges

When you do return home to find that your cats have redecorated the room with shreds of every tissue they could find or the dog has eaten some of the mail, you may well react with a choice expletive but you are not likely to hold a grudge. You are still going to be petting Donatello or cuddling with Thor the next day.

Assuming the Best

There is a natural tendency to forgive pets their trespasses – after all, the dog wasn’t trying to torture you by eating the mail. Was your partner really trying to torture you by putting it in such a safe spot it can’t be found?

Acceptance

Few pet owners personalize their pets’ reactions to others to an extreme that makes them so embarrassed that they fear their image is tarnished or they become resentful of their pets. The fact that the dog is licking every part of the arriving guest’s body is cause to pull him away or laugh it away. The cat that will not come out of hiding or the parrot that is screeching is left without judgment or excuses. That’s them!

For Better or For Worse

In most cases, pets are home to stay. People love and care for pets of every size, shape and disposition. “She’s not exactly a watch dog; she’s loving but easily frightened.” “He insists on sleeping on the bed – we have given in.” “She steals food from the other dogs, she’s pretty hyper, but cute.” Few pets live with the fear of being betrayed or with the implication that things are just not working out. Of course they don’t – but just consider how the absence of such fears enhances the trust and connection you feel from them!

So think about what you give your pet and maybe how — in addition to improving your health — your pet can improve your relationship!

[StanT]

There are always conditions.

Don't sleep around.
No physical or verbal abuse

Don't crap in my bed ... (pet, not spouse)

[Pearl Trade]

Unconditional love is not having to apologize when you get it in her hair.

Willravel got it right.

[Charlatan]

Unconditional love is what I have for my kids. Everything else, regardless of how strong it might be, is conditional love.

[Xerxys]

Originally Posted by Pearl Trade

Unconditional love is not having to apologize when you get it in her hair.

Willravel got it right.

Actually, it's worlds king that said that ... except he said romance, not unconditional love.

[Baraka_Guru]

Originally Posted by Charlatan

Unconditional love is what I have for my kids. Everything else [...]

Ahem...I thought you said "unconditional." It's conditional in that it's reserved for your kids only.

I'm just messing with you. I always thought "unconditional love" as understood by the Western mind to be idealistic, which is part of the reason why I appreciate the Buddhist view.

[Cimarron29414]

Looking down at my newborn.

[Shauk]

a myth

[KirStang]

Yea...you don't, nor do you want to give unconditional love. Do you really want a spouse that accepts you degrading her? Or lets you get away with whatever? Do you really want to be the doormat to that beauty queen? Do you want to bail your child out of the $55k gambling debt?

[Plan9]

...but children are pets.

[Jinn]

"Unconditional love" goes down in my brain with "soulmates" and "undying love" and "God" and "happily ever after" in the category of "wishful thinking." It'd be great if we had an all-loving Father who wanted the best for us and gave us lessons and answered our prayers and if we could find someone who was truly matched for us on souls and with whom we could love perfectly without conditions for eternity.

Turns out, life is a hell of a lot more gritty than that. Rape, spousal abuse, changing personalities, emotional blackmail, infidelity, MONEY CONCERNS, character flaws discovered late and even mental disorders (schizophrenia, for example) don't happen in Disney Princess / fairy-tale God / unconditional love land. Anyone who says they can love without conditions is lying to themselves, just like someone who earnestly believes they have a soulmate or an invisible sky daddy.

I even have to object to Charlatan's 'unconditional love' for his children. I won't question HIS, particularly, but there are certainly conditions under which even the most stalwart parent will lose their love. There are stories of grieving mothers begging the court for forgiveness for their serial killer children even staring in the faces of the dead victims families, but exceptions do not make the rule. Their love would largely seem to be a mental disorder, to me.

This opinion is naturally unpopular, because everyone thinks they're a unique snowflake who somehow loves stronger than everyone else, and I'm usually inundated with people saying "ooh, not me! I love unconditionally!." See above about lying to yourself. You don't realize just how conditional love is until its terrible and you're 1 month post-divorce. Then suddenly it seems clear. Love deludes you into thinking it is more permanent and perfect than it really is.

P.S., not jaded, just realistic. Happily dating the same lady for half a decade now.

[Baraka_Guru]

YouTube - Slavoj ?i?ek: Love is evil

YouTube - Slavoj ?i?ek: Love is evil

[Jinn]

Holy shit, that man is awesome. He's very passionate about this, especially.. Now to go find out who the hell "Slavoj Zizek" is and where I can find more videos of his intellectual hobo rants..

[Baraka_Guru]

You should hear what he thinks of religion and vegetarians.

[DRP976]

Originally Posted by ChickenMuffin

What does it mean?

"Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of the loved one's qualities or actions. The paradigm of unconditional love is a mother's love for her newborn.

Unconditional love is often used to describe the love in an idealized romantic relationship. It may sometimes also be used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships."

*Taken from Wikipedia because i couldnt have said/typed it better myself.