highdro69

You guys are all of a very varied age, so perhaps I can get a consensus to equal an honest answer, buuuutttt....
how can I avoid the perception that I'm trying to "nail" my female friends when I go out with them? I'm not in the least bit flirty, not touchy at all, CUZ THEY'RE MY FRIENDS. Yet even people I haven't seen in years are hesitant to come say hi for fear of "throwing my game." I initiate conversation with them, and it becomes apparent I'm just out with a friend, then they are all about catching up.
But from the outside, it looks like I'm trying to hookup.
Is there anything you guys think I could do, as far as actions, body language, dress, color of lipstick, whatever, that might make our nights a tad less awkward?
(this I'm posting as I just come home from the bar, so please excuse my horrid grammar and syntax hehe)

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robot_parade

Not really. If you're out 1-on-1 with someone of the opposite gender, it seems pretty normal for someone else to assume it's a date. Only thing I can think of is if the said event is a group thing.

Of course, if you go places with 2 (or more) of your female friends at once, those same people will be mighty impressed with your pimpin' skills. ;-)

Xerxys

I bet that's right, I went out with two girls this xmas and the few folk from work who saw me were sure to spread the news. Self esteem never has been so high since then!!

MSD

Just tell them you're out with a friend. If they can't wrap their heads around that, they need to grow up.

MuadDib

Why does it bother you if people think you are seeing people you are not? This is actually a problem I've had many times in my life since I have tons of friends who are women and I do have a bit of a flirty personality, but the only times it has ever bothered have turned out to be times when I actually did have more-than-friendly feelings towards the girl I was out with. Well... that or when the perception has kept me from picking up another girl while I was out. ;-)

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highdro69

it's just really annoying when I go out to socialize, and people aren't as social as they would otherwise be if I was with male friends. My friend made a good suggestion though; have a more hardened body language to that of protectorate and not of interested friend. Kind of dick to pretend I'm not interested in what my friend has to say, but I'm sure with practice I can find a happy medium.

__________________
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

dlish

guys are never friends with women just because they want to be friends. theres always more to the story. theres always an alterior motive and it usually involves sex.

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An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

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ring

I'm a little confused here.
I suppose it doesn't really matter how you look at this from a gender position,
or sexual preference stance, I suppose.

If I was with out with a friend that used body language to suggest anything other than
honesty,
I would be offended, frankly.

When you say socialize, do you mean just talking and hanging out?,
or are you worried that being out with 'just a friend'...is going to cut your chances
of meeting someone to date?

@dlish, so are you telling me that I too, a hetero female, always have ulterior motives to get into the pants
of all my guy friends?
I am shocked and saddened to see this way of thinking, alive and kicking.

Esoteric

Heh, I can tell you that this isn't the case and it's kind of upsetting that this stereotype is one of the first things that comes to your mind. He doesn't want to bang his female friends, I do.

ring: highdro is a male.

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Made a date with Divinity, but she wouldn't let me fuck
I got touched by a hazy shaded, God help me change
Caught a rush on the floor from the life in my veins

Xerxys

Wow dlish, ...thanks for the help.

Granted I have friends that are female and I do want to (ahem) knock em' boots wit' but I also have friends that ARE female but I dont really want to have sex with. I'm not saying they're not attractive, but the whole point of the OP, is to avoid this perception.

So people, is this even possible?

Esoteric, ..... I love you.

highdro69

that's the problem ring. tis a very tricky subject

__________________
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

ring

Well, to be completely silly here for a moment,
why not wear a t-shirt, with a slogan on both sides,
so everyone in the room gets the picture clearly?

sorry, I don't have any better advice at this time.

highdro69

HAHAHA. That was actually one of my first ideas.

__________________
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

robot_parade

Maybe something with an arrow, along the lines of "I'm with stupid. <---"
"I'm not dating her. <----"

Just need to be sure she's always on the correct side of you.

dlish

sorry i was walking out the door when i decided to post in haste.

i didnt mean ALL men..but a very large majority of men think along those lines. lets not kid ourselves here.

and no ring, your a hetero female..you may not want anything past platonic with male friends, but whos to say that your males friends dont have an inkling towards you? chances are, they probably do.

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Hyacinthe

I find the idea of a t-shirt saying "not currently on a date" either side vastly amusing

Speaking from the female side of this equation - I would just ignore it, far as I can see there's nothing you can do to make it obvious you're not on a date that will not risk offending the person that you're out with.

Maybe it says alot about your other acquaintances that they're unable to see you in the company of a woman without assuming you're trying to get laid. Either that or you're just such a stud they find the concept of a woman being around you and not being sucked in by your animal magnetism hard to understand.

dlish it really IS possible to have a gender opposite friend who doesn't want to sleep with you - my best friend is male and knows more about me then almost anyone else (barring my SO) he's one of the few guys that I feel absolutely at peace around. There's no sexual tension there at all,

"we're too close it would be like dating a sibling"

his words not mine.

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ItWasMe

Tell them to send you a text message. And if you respond, it's okay for them to approach.

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Xerxys

robot_parade, your wrong, it should be like this

"I'm stupid, I'm not dating her --->"

777

I agree with Robot Parade, take more than one of your girls with you, HighDro69. Do they all get along? If so, you can call them your "Angels".

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