xepherys

You know, I was reading the humor forum today and came across this joke. I was amused, admittedly, but it made me think of something I've noticed a lot over the last year or two...

Why is infidelity, at least in America, used as a humorous point so often in movies, TV, jokes, et cetera? In movies, it generally makes me a bit perturbed. Even if I like the movie, it's nearly always a black mark, unless it's a drama where it's an actual part of the story line and not anecdotal in nature. Has anyone else noticed this? Is it like this in other cultures or is America on the forefront (again) of bad taste?

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ratbastid

Schadenfreude.

noodlebee

I don't know, but this thread makes me think I should watch more movies and entertainment shows on television to understand how media portrays western culture. I only thought the woman was scary after I understood the joke.

I don't know if this can contribute anything, but do you remember the magazines in the grocery store? Usually, they are about how to have good sex with your partner or gossip about Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, etc. Those things are not really funny, but if you see too much about cheating, it becomes more normal and lighthearted. We also have these magazines in Hong Kong and China. I might be wrong since I never read the inside, but there is more focus on lewd photos or normal sensational news (e.g. horrible suicide, serial killers, etc).

If just using what I see on magazine covers and my memory of Hong Kong 3 years ago, western magazines like more content about cheating and other more subdued things. But Hong Kong and Chinese magazines like sexual candid images and violence. I don't want to talk about other Asian countries because I prefer to live at least 1 year to understand them first.

Baraka_Guru

Cuckoldry is funny in the same way slapstick is. I wouldn't say that it is a reflection of our acceptance or encouragement of infidelity. And this is nothing new. Hundreds of years ago, Geoffrey Chaucer used themes of cuckoldry in his works. We tend to find humour in things that frighten us or otherwise cause misery: pain, death, infidelity, etc. We laugh because it is a nervous release of our worst fears.

Consider Mikhail Bakhtin's theory of grotesque realism:
Source: http://www.lcc.gatech.edu/~cklestine...8.Bakhtin.html

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abaya

Holy shit, Baraka is breakin' out the Bakhtin... sends me back to my English major days.

In regards to the OP, well... here in Iceland, I haven't noticed much about infidelity. Perhaps because it's such a small country, which means everyone slept with everyone else at some point in their lives... and people get drunk a LOT here, and shit happens when you're drunk. It seems somehow less of a big deal here (and in other European countries) than it was in the US.

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xepherys

abaya, do you mean sexuality in general or infidelity? I mean, I get drunk, but it doesn't mean I go around sleeping with everyone I meet. *shrug* In fact, I don't think I've ever shagged someone I met while drunk. And I'm not introverted or a prude by any means.

I think my point was, why does Hollywood (especially) portray infidelity as a common place, somewhat acceptable and occasionally humorous event?

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Cynthetiq

I think that Hollywood and other media writers use infidelity as a plot device, depending on the desire of the writer, depends on the focus.

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abaya

Well, I mean both sexuality in general and infidelity... people sleep around a lot here, and cheating is something that goes along with being drunk and sleeping around (with people who are not your SO). Not saying that if you are Icelandic, and if you are in a relationship, you must therefore cheat on your SO if you get drunk... but, I do think it happens more here than in the US, and people don't make as big of a deal about it (in the movies or conversations).

But I could be talking out of my anthropological ass, as usual.

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LoganSnake

Maybe it's a cultural thing, but infidelity jokes have been around for as long as I can remember. I actually see it less in the US than I did in Ukraine.

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tecoyah

America may very well be evolving in its sexual ethics. As Christianity wanes, the stigma associated with good sex tends to fall away and open up those not associated with dogmatic ties to a larger understanding of what human sexuality can be. Note the concept of marriage in the eyes of the average American, as seen by the number of divorces we instigate.
As the concept of God is removed from the reality of copulation, humankind will be freed to express the joys of sex unconfined by false morals, and enjoy each other without the senseless guilt. Granted the physical aspects of disease and violence will still be there, but hopefully we will deal with these in turn.
Hollywood tends to represent the direction society is heading in a macro sense....Maybe we'll all get laid more often, might be the best thing to come out of Hollywood in decades.

ngdawg

Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!

Who says God's been removed?

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fresnelly

I disagree. I would say that in Hollywood, infidelity is usually punished in the end. Characters in Horror movies seal their doom when they do it. Jack dies in Titanic, Just about all of Michael Douglas' characters are put in peril thanks to infidelity of one sort or another. Ang Lee's the Ice Storm is all about the misery of the 70's sexual revolution. Jeff Bridges bashes the head in of the guy who seduces Diane lane in Unfaithful, Annette Benning is left alone in American Beauty...

Okay, these are not terribly recent movies, but I believe the pattern holds in Hollywood: Fornication is for fun, but infidelity is the first step to disaster.

What movies have you seen lately that have upset you?

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Cynthetiq

That is why I stated it is more of a plot device.

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Redlemon

When I found out that my dad had been cheating on my mom, I couldn't even handle songs that discussed infidelity. It took about a year before I could listen to them again.

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xepherys

Redlemon, exactly. I'm 100% convinced that TotalMILF would never cheat on me. But still, eeing something like that in a movie always puts my brain into a "how would I feel if...?" mode and I just hate it. I hate to think about how hurt people DO get over such things, and to see it used as a joke or plot device. Even as a plot device, I see it as really tasteless.

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Baraka_Guru

This really does depend on the context. This statement goes beyond sitcoms and buddy movies.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

noodlebee

Hmmm... so is Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolfe tasteful? :P

Plan9

Humans: Part animal, part machine.

Infidelity caters to the animal part.

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