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Old 10-25-2004, 04:43 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: Pensacola
Gender procedures for ATMs

I apologize in advance for this being sexist, but I think it's funny!


Gender procedures for ATMs

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing
new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash
without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research,
MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."


MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.


FEMALE PROCEDURE


1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside of
the back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty handbag, locate cardholder, and place and into the slot
provided.

23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting
behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

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Old 10-25-2004, 05:59 PM   #2 (permalink)
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So so true.... *runs away before he dies*
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Old 10-25-2004, 08:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: communist valley
Quote:
Originally Posted by Racer
20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.
Haha that was good.
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Old 10-25-2004, 10:10 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: ..too close for comfort..
*sideways glance* hey..we don't all *starts applying lipstick* blu blat...*puckers lips and smiles*

funny thank you for your post
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Old 10-26-2004, 02:45 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Woo, glad I'm a male

it's so much shorter
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Old 10-26-2004, 02:49 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: Ireland
Just emailed it to my wife.
Funny, she just replied telling me to cook my own meal tonight. - Wonder what that is all about??
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Old 10-26-2004, 08:15 AM   #7 (permalink)
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it's funny because it's true
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Old 10-26-2004, 08:21 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: Lilburn, Ga
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car.

I admit I do this...but I have short arms
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Old 10-26-2004, 12:15 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: California
Quote:
Originally Posted by Racer

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

hahahahaha this is so true
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Old 11-08-2004, 06:19 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: Florida
ah so funny but wont share that one with my gf
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Old 11-13-2004, 09:02 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Location: Minnesota
"Release parking brake"

Good god this line had me cracking up. Perfect way to end the joke. Mine does that to her car all the time. So funny!
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Old 11-14-2004, 02:54 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Location: California
Haha, funny stuff. The "back up, retrieve card," and "drive two miles, release parking brake" were great.
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Old 11-14-2004, 02:35 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Location: Central Republic of Where-in-the-Hell
Quote:
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car.


Hey, some of us are just really short
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Old 11-14-2004, 03:30 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Hilarous!!! So true, I was behind a lady the other day doing almost this exact same thing. Ladies are good for only one thing...(insert your reason)
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Old 11-14-2004, 07:44 PM   #15 (permalink)
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thats freaking awesome... good job
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Old 11-14-2004, 09:22 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Oh man, now that was funny stuff....... unless of course my girlfriend is reading this. Then it is totally unacceptable.

...but still funny...
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Old 11-14-2004, 09:48 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Location: New Orleans
that was a good one, it made me laugh
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Old 11-18-2004, 12:14 AM   #18 (permalink)
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8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

sounds typically female! JJ
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