Lunchbox7

Papa Smurf, Your Our Man

When comparing the various ‘studs’ in the world there is one that stands above the rest. That one is Papa Smurf. It is all a matter of probabilities. The smurf village has a population of 100+ smurfs, which includes a single female (Lady Smurf). Lady smurf has the choice of mates purely because the males have no other option. She could go for the good looks evident in Vanity Smurf. She could go for the muscles of Hefty Smurf. The intelligence of Brainy Smurf or the masculine skills of Handy Smurf. No. She chooses the decrepit aged leader of Papa Smurf. It gives a slightly different feel to the old saying “Whose your daddy?”.

How do we know that Papa Smurf and Lady Smurf are bumping uglies? The emergence of Baby Smurf into village. Where does Baby smurf live? With Papa Smurf. That gives as clear a indication of Baby Smurf’s parentage as is possible considering the censorship laws of the time. Combined with the magical abilities Baby Smurf exhibits which correlate with the wizardly powers of Papa Smurf leaves no doubt to the identity of Baby Smurf’s father. Lady Smurf must therefor be the mother considering she is the only female in the village. I know the show never showed Lady Smurf with a bun in the oven but again this is due to the censorship laws of the time. After all Papa Smurf and Lady Smurf were unmarried. It wasn’t unusual for the time in such circumstances for the pregnant female to suddenly disappear from a show when they started to show, only to miraculously return once the baby has been born. The same thing was done with the smurfs but how do we explain the new addition to the village considering the illusionary absence of pregnancy? We concoct some mystical story of Baby Smurf appearing during a blue moon. Viola!!! Baby Smurf explained.

So we now know that Lady Smurf and Papa Smurf is Baby Smurf’s parents. But the argument is that Papa smurf is the epitome of stud. It all comes down to choice. The males of the village have no choice to the identity of their prospective mate. There is only 1 female in the village. That female, Lady Smurf, has all the choice she could possibly fathom. Naturally she will choose the optimal male for her ‘needs’. As we have previously identified that Papa Smurf is the optimal male in the huge selection. If Don Juan Demarco was a participant on some cheesy reality dating show with over 100 other guys competing for some Jeri Ryan look-a-like, I seriously doubt he would win out purely because of the competition. Don Juan Demarco could therefor learn a thing or two from Papa Smurf about how to pull the chicks. Papa Smurf is the epitome of stud.

tekaweni

Ok I'll accept the punchline of "Papa Smurf is the epitome of stud"

:-/

__________________
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

slimshaydee

I think lady smurf was called smurfette
and also there were a few other kids other than baby smurf at one stage. One of them was a girl aswell

mojodragon

From what I remember, both of the female smurfs were originally creations of Gargamel, but that might just be my faulty memory. Also, that was a lot to have to read, with very little payoff.

Gnzo

The Lady smurf was Smurfette, and she was created by Gargamel. Initially she was a purple smurf with dark hair and her purpose was to lure the other smurfs to Gargamel. With a little magic from Papa smurf she was a changed smurf and fit right in. Sassette was the other girl smurf. She was created by the smurflings to act as a sister for Smurfette.

But so we don't get too far off topic, Papa was a stud...

p0thead

haha im uncertain if im amazed that you remember all that or scared... after reading that, i do recall all that information, but to know it off the top of your head is another thing. but with all due respect, thats great knowledge and a great memory!

Kazic

Holy shit. do you remember that? or did you google that?
Either way Smurfette was the girl and yes near the final seasons the younger smurfs were introduced such as Sassette. I think there were about 5 in total if I remember correctly.

Either way if your theory holds true Papa smurf really is the "Daddy" of em all.

__________________
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man
affected us as kids,we'd all be running around in
darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening
to repetitive electronic music."
-Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

Gnzo

LOL, yes, I remembered that. I got every saturday at 6:00 as a kid just to watch cartoons. Funny thing, Cartoons stuck in my head. I am still waiting for them to make a cartoon addition of Trivia Purstuit...

There were 3 Smurflings, Slouchy, Snappy, and Nat. Baby was the smallest, but technically wasn't a Smurfling. A wizard friend of Papa smurf (can't remember his name) gave puppy to Papa, but Baby somehow inherited the dog. Puppy mostly hung out with the smurflings.

Ah...nothing like useless knowledge.

keyshawn

ha,

reminds me of the dialogue about papa smurf in donnie darko [movie]:
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Ronald Fisher: Beer and pussy, that’s all I need.

Sean Smith: We gotta find ourselves a Smurfette.

Ronald Fisher: Smurfette?

Sean Smith: Mm-hmmm.

Ronald Fisher: Not some, like, tight-ass Middlesex chick, you know? Like this cute little blonde that will get down and dirty with the guys. Like Smurfette does.

Donnie Darko: Smurfette doesn’t fuck.
<Donnie shoots a bottle>

Ronald Fisher: That’s bullshit. Smurfette fucks all the other smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? Because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.

Sean Smith: No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.

Ronald Fisher: Okay, well, you know what? Then she fucks them while Vanity watches Okay?

Sean Smith: What about Papa Smurf? He must get in on the action.

Ronald Fisher: Yeah, what he does, he films the gang-bang. Later on, he beats off to the tape.

Donnie Darko: First of all, Papa Smurf didn’t create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel’s evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario <laughs> is just couldn’t happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don’t even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That’s what’s so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What’s the point of living if you don’t have a dick?

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