assilem

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She protested, "But we don't know anything about each other." He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along." So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel. She said, "That was incredible!" He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along." So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool.
She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard. He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"

"No, she said, 'I was a hooker in Memphis and I worked both sides of the Mississippi River."

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The mother of mankind, what time his pride
Had cast him out from Heaven, with all his host
Of rebel Angels

gar1976

*Chuckle*

mofonyx

*gasp* a lil too much to know.

Jackebear

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Life's jounney is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn-out shouting, "Holy sh*t! What a ride!" - unknown

Keg-o-Grog

hehe. cute

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I stand alone without beliefs, the only truth i know is you.

edmos1

hee hee

qtpye4u84

aaahhhhhhh hahahahahaha
I thought it was going to be worse like she was going to be a he she, kinda like the comercial where the bride gets up to go to the bathroom and she stands up and goes peee.

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The QTpie

loganmule

good one...this is exactly why you want to check the turf first before stepping out onto the field

Kazic

heh I guess he may have over looked somethings with his decision.

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"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man
affected us as kids,we'd all be running around in
darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening
to repetitive electronic music."
-Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

yoda77

(thumbsup) great hilarious

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DRINK,SMOKE AND LAUGH

tekaweni

Great one, thanks!

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If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

R3d

haha nice.. didnt see that comin