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Old 04-14-2004, 03:36 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: Mansfield, Ohio USA
Hilarious no matter what party you are from

This was taken from Saturday Night You or http://snlyou.jt.org/archives/01ytarareid/bush.phtml

It's hilarious no matter what your politics. (And no you righties can think Clinton/Gore and Reno. I'm sure if you use those names and think bck to when they were in office you'll laugh).



SOUND: AUTOMOBILE ENGINE

GEORGE BUSH , DICK CHENEY, AND CONDELEEZA RICE ARE TRAVELING TOGETHER. BUSH IS DRIVING, CHENEY IS IN THE PASSENGER SEAT, AND CONDELEEZA RICE IS IN THE BACK SEAT.

George W. Bush: (SQUINTING IN DEEP THOUGHT) I know how we can save the taxpayers some money.

Dick Cheney: How?

George W. Bush: There’s a cheap motel just up ahead. We'll pull in there for the night.

Condeleeza Rice: Do you expect me to stay is some cheap flea bag?

Dick Cheney: (WITH HIS RIGHT LOWER LIP DROPPING AND A LECHEROUS LOOK ON HIS FACE) Shut up! We're saving the taxpayers money!

BUSH WALKS UP TO THE MOTEL DESK WITH CHENEY AND RICE CLOSE BEHIND.

George W. Bush: How much are your rooms?

Clerk: I can let you all stay in the same room for $30.

CONDELEEZA RICE LOOKS HORRIFIED, CHENEY GRABS HER AND PUTS HIS HAND OVER HER MOUTH AS THEY STRUGGLE. CHENEY HAS A LECHEROUS LOOK ON HIS FACE. BUSH HAS NO CLUE WHAT IS GOING ON.

George W. Bush: We'll take it!

BUSH, CHENEY, AND CONDELEEZA RICE ENTER THE ROOM. BUSH LOOKS AROUND AS CHENEY AND RICE ENTER. THERE IS ONLY ONE BED. AGAIN CONDELEEZA RICE TRIES TO ESCAPE BUT CHENEY GRAPPLES HER TO THE FLOOR NOT LETTING HER LEAVE. BUSH IS UNAWARE OF WHAT IS GOING ON.

THERE IS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR. THE STRUGGLE STOPS AS BUSH GOES TO OPEN THE DOOR.

THE BELLHOP IS STANDING THERE HOLDING OUT 5 $1 BILLS IN HIS HAND.

Bellhop: Mr. President. We have decided to let you have the room for $25. This is your refund.

BUSH TAKES THE MONEY SQUINTING IN THOUGHT. THE BELLHOP REMAINS AT THE DOOR

George W. Bush: Now let's see. Five dollars split three ways is..... Cheney if I give you $2 and Rice $2 that leaves me with .... No, If I keep $3 that leaves ......

CONDELEEZA RICE TAKES THE MONEY FROM BUSH GIVES EACH OF THEM $1 AND THE BELLHOP A $2 TIP.

Condeleeza Rice: There, it’s settled.

George W. Bush: That is great. Now lets see, $1 from $10 means this room only cost us each $9. That means we got the room for $27. Taxpayers will love it, and the $2 tip you gave the Bellhop brings the total to $29.

BUSH LOOKS AT CHENEY WITH HIS QUIZZICAL LOOK

George W. Bush: What happened to the other dollar?

Dick Cheney: Rice got it.

Condeleeza Rice: Cheney! Did you attend the “Arthur Anderson School of Fuzzy Math?”

Dick Cheney: Yes, and so did the President.

Condeleeza Rice: (DISGUSTEDLY) I don't believe this.

IN THE DIM LIGHT OF THE ROOM BUSH AND CHENEY ARE LAYING FACE UP ON EACH SIDE OF THE BED. RICE IS LAYING FACE UP BETWEEN THEM WITH HER HEAD AT THE FOOT OF THE BED.

George W. Bush: You took that other dollar didn't you Cheney?

Cheney gets up and heads for the door.

Dick Cheney: I'm going to go sleep in the car.

Condeleeza Rice's eyes pop wide open with the realization that she will be in the room alone with Bush.

end
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I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?"
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Old 04-14-2004, 03:57 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Maryland,USA
Thats one old joke there. I remember my Aunt asking me to solve that problem when I was a kid. It was formatted different naturally, but basically the same. Using current characters does add some humor.
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Last edited by crewsor; 04-14-2004 at 04:00 AM..
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Old 04-14-2004, 04:09 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: In the dust of the archives
This is more appropriate for humor than politics. It invites more chuckles, than it does political discussion. Moved for that reason.
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Old 04-15-2004, 02:08 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: San Diego, CA
For anyone confused, the $1 didn't "go" anywhere. What happened was this:

$25 for room
+$2 tip
+$2 tip again
= $29

What they should have done:
$25 for room
+ $2 tip
+ $1/person = $3 total
= $30
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Old 04-16-2004, 08:51 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: too far from Texas
I liked the Dick-n-Rice sub-plot...
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