Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-14-2004, 03:36 AM   #1 (permalink)
Lennonite Priest
 
pan6467's Avatar
 
Location: Mansfield, Ohio USA
Hilarious no matter what party you are from

This was taken from Saturday Night You or http://snlyou.jt.org/archives/01ytarareid/bush.phtml

It's hilarious no matter what your politics. (And no you righties can think Clinton/Gore and Reno. I'm sure if you use those names and think bck to when they were in office you'll laugh).



SOUND: AUTOMOBILE ENGINE

GEORGE BUSH , DICK CHENEY, AND CONDELEEZA RICE ARE TRAVELING TOGETHER. BUSH IS DRIVING, CHENEY IS IN THE PASSENGER SEAT, AND CONDELEEZA RICE IS IN THE BACK SEAT.

George W. Bush: (SQUINTING IN DEEP THOUGHT) I know how we can save the taxpayers some money.

Dick Cheney: How?

George W. Bush: There’s a cheap motel just up ahead. We'll pull in there for the night.

Condeleeza Rice: Do you expect me to stay is some cheap flea bag?

Dick Cheney: (WITH HIS RIGHT LOWER LIP DROPPING AND A LECHEROUS LOOK ON HIS FACE) Shut up! We're saving the taxpayers money!

BUSH WALKS UP TO THE MOTEL DESK WITH CHENEY AND RICE CLOSE BEHIND.

George W. Bush: How much are your rooms?

Clerk: I can let you all stay in the same room for $30.

CONDELEEZA RICE LOOKS HORRIFIED, CHENEY GRABS HER AND PUTS HIS HAND OVER HER MOUTH AS THEY STRUGGLE. CHENEY HAS A LECHEROUS LOOK ON HIS FACE. BUSH HAS NO CLUE WHAT IS GOING ON.

George W. Bush: We'll take it!

BUSH, CHENEY, AND CONDELEEZA RICE ENTER THE ROOM. BUSH LOOKS AROUND AS CHENEY AND RICE ENTER. THERE IS ONLY ONE BED. AGAIN CONDELEEZA RICE TRIES TO ESCAPE BUT CHENEY GRAPPLES HER TO THE FLOOR NOT LETTING HER LEAVE. BUSH IS UNAWARE OF WHAT IS GOING ON.

THERE IS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR. THE STRUGGLE STOPS AS BUSH GOES TO OPEN THE DOOR.

THE BELLHOP IS STANDING THERE HOLDING OUT 5 $1 BILLS IN HIS HAND.

Bellhop: Mr. President. We have decided to let you have the room for $25. This is your refund.

BUSH TAKES THE MONEY SQUINTING IN THOUGHT. THE BELLHOP REMAINS AT THE DOOR

George W. Bush: Now let's see. Five dollars split three ways is..... Cheney if I give you $2 and Rice $2 that leaves me with .... No, If I keep $3 that leaves ......

CONDELEEZA RICE TAKES THE MONEY FROM BUSH GIVES EACH OF THEM $1 AND THE BELLHOP A $2 TIP.

Condeleeza Rice: There, it’s settled.

George W. Bush: That is great. Now lets see, $1 from $10 means this room only cost us each $9. That means we got the room for $27. Taxpayers will love it, and the $2 tip you gave the Bellhop brings the total to $29.

BUSH LOOKS AT CHENEY WITH HIS QUIZZICAL LOOK

George W. Bush: What happened to the other dollar?

Dick Cheney: Rice got it.

Condeleeza Rice: Cheney! Did you attend the “Arthur Anderson School of Fuzzy Math?”

Dick Cheney: Yes, and so did the President.

Condeleeza Rice: (DISGUSTEDLY) I don't believe this.

IN THE DIM LIGHT OF THE ROOM BUSH AND CHENEY ARE LAYING FACE UP ON EACH SIDE OF THE BED. RICE IS LAYING FACE UP BETWEEN THEM WITH HER HEAD AT THE FOOT OF THE BED.

George W. Bush: You took that other dollar didn't you Cheney?

Cheney gets up and heads for the door.

Dick Cheney: I'm going to go sleep in the car.

Condeleeza Rice's eyes pop wide open with the realization that she will be in the room alone with Bush.

end
__________________
I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?"
pan6467 is offline  
Old 04-14-2004, 03:57 AM   #2 (permalink)
Women want me. Men fear me.
 
crewsor's Avatar
 
Location: Maryland,USA
Thats one old joke there. I remember my Aunt asking me to solve that problem when I was a kid. It was formatted different naturally, but basically the same. Using current characters does add some humor.
__________________
We all have wings, some of us just don't know why.

Last edited by crewsor; 04-14-2004 at 04:00 AM..
crewsor is offline  
Old 04-14-2004, 04:09 AM   #3 (permalink)
will always be an Alyson Hanniganite
 
Bill O'Rights's Avatar
 
Location: In the dust of the archives
This is more appropriate for humor than politics. It invites more chuckles, than it does political discussion. Moved for that reason.
__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.
Bill O'Rights is offline  
Old 04-15-2004, 02:08 AM   #4 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: San Diego, CA
For anyone confused, the $1 didn't "go" anywhere. What happened was this:

$25 for room
+$2 tip
+$2 tip again
= $29

What they should have done:
$25 for room
+ $2 tip
+ $1/person = $3 total
= $30
__________________
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose." -- Douglas Adams
Rangsk is offline  
Old 04-16-2004, 08:51 PM   #5 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: too far from Texas
I liked the Dick-n-Rice sub-plot...
bond007 is offline  
 

Tags
hilarious, matter, party


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:40 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360