B.A.R.S. outbreak
 

Public Health Warning - B.A.R.S.

Health Canada has issued a health warning regarding a newly discovered disease which is rapidly spreading throughout the world. The disease is B.A.R.S. (Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome) and effects people of many different ages. Believed to have started in Ireland in 1500 BC, the disease seems to effect people who congregate in Pubs and Taverns. It is yet unknown how the disease is transmitted but approximately three billion people world-wide have been affected, with new cases being discovered every day.

Early symptoms of the disease include an uncontrollable urge at 5:00 pm to consume a beer or alcoholic beverage. This urge is most keenly felt on Fridays. More advanced symptoms of the disease include singing loudly off-key, heightened sexual attraction (even towards hideous targets), and loud laughter. Sometimes in this stage, deaths have occurred, usually accompanied by the victim shouting, "Hey Zeke, watch this!" In the final stages of the disease, victims are often cross-eyed, and spout sayings like, "Goony Goo Goo", or "I gaga go home". Vomiting is a frequent symptom at this stage. If you develop any of these symptoms, it is important that you quarantine yourself in a bar until last call. Your diligence in containing the B.A.R.S. outbreak is greatly appreciated.

:eek: I think a friend of mine had that!

Oh Fuck, I think I have that. I better go to the hospital(bar) and get a shot(of tequila). Maybe that will help get rid of it. I may have to check in and get a get a public room.

Funny. I know some people that practically live in bars...not funny.

oh damn, i may be developing BARS - someone get me a fake ID, quick!:D

What a hoot.
Thats great stuff.

hmm 5pm eh?
seems kinda late for me :)